Im 14. Im mature for my age. I have a great family.....?

Question

Im honor roll student. Im very responsible. wealthy. Im NOT a skank. Im in love with the guy i have been with for a year, who i absolutly adore. he is incredible. So we have been having sex for awhile..and now theres a chance i might be pregnant.I am on birth control, im not dumb and having unprotected sex. Im worried if i consider having this child, that the world will judge me for something i am not. Is there anyone out there who can relate?

and by the way he is my age. i dont date older guys.

Answer 1

First of all, I dont agree with anyone who says you are too young to have sex. That is your decision, and if you dont regret it, then who is to say its wrong? In 20 years you'll have a conversation with a good friend of yours who will say "oh i hated the way i lost my virginity" and you can be like, "i dont, i was in love and although it was weird [it always is] it was great." The only thing is that there are consequences...and you have to be willing to take care of them. Good for you for using birth control. By the way, he is not using you by "making" you take BC, it's a decision you made, im assuming.
I just had a baby girl, im 25...some people have judged me because my husband is 44. i dont care. i hold my head up and know that we were made for each other, and i watch him with our daughter and know that she was made for and by us, and i really couldnt care less what anybody thinks or says. If you want this baby, and really understand what taking care of a human being is, then have your baby. If not, I can suggest if you have cousins, aunts, or other family members of childbearing age (meaning married and either trying to have a baby or have young children), they might be willing to adopt the baby, so it can become a cousin to you and you can keep blood with blood.
Abortions are your right, just be aware of the after effects (emotional). You'll always wonder.
And having a baby is not the end of your life. For me it was the beginning.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Well I do hope your sake that you are not pregnant because you will miss out on a lot of youth. You are still just a kid no matter how you feel, I know when I was your age I felt very mature but when I look back on it now... lol. It is very possible for someone of your age to be a good and loving mother. Don't think that you can't do it, especially since it seems you have a very supportive family. It was not that long ago that it was common for girls your age to get married and start having babies, an unmarried eighteen year old would have been considered an old maid. Don't get me wrong I don't think its a good idea for young girls to run out and get themselves pregnant, I just don't want you to doubt that you can make a good mother if that is your choice. You cannot stop the world from judging you, people will judge you if you choose to become a teen mother. But you can stop yourself from caring so much. If you do have a child then they are the most important thing and worrying about that child is your only job.

Answer 3

First, find out if you really are pregnant. If not, thank your lucky stars and get effective birth control from a doctor. Use it exactly as the doctor says. Responsible use of birth control is one way a person shows maturity. It is also a way of showing respect and love for one's sexual partner, a way of taking care of the relationship. If you are pregnant, the issue is more complicated.

Never mind judgment, you will pay and pay and pay personally for having a child at 14. Everything in your life will become complicated in ways you cannot possibly guess. A fourteen-year-old who signs on for motherhood is like a fourteen-year-old who has never done a day's work borrowing a million dollars and promising to pay it back out of her future earnings. Fourteen-year-olds are not allowed to take out bank loans because they really have no idea how they would pay the loan back and the effects that the debt would have on their lives.

Keep in mind that the present-day, right-wing view of abortion is not the only way that people have ever thought about unplanned pregnancies. There are other cultures that have considered the first couple of months of pregnancy a time window in which a woman could decide not to continue with the pregnancy. It was the woman's business, no one else's.

Answer 4

First thing, relax. When I was a teenager and having sex (I was on birth controll and used condoms), I used to go through the exact same thing you are... I was always afraid I was pregnant, even before my period was late, and you know what, it always did come... normally a few days late because I was so stressed. Take a test, and when you do, just remember that the whole thing turns the color first, then it will fade to reveal the lines. If you are pregnant, you need to talk with someone. There are a lot of websites out there for teenagers. Just remember, if any one of them says that abortion or adoption is the only answer, look for another one because you need a more objective view. When you get older, you will realize that your parents are always there for you no matter what... so when your ready, talk to them. Yes they will freak out and be mad, but trust me, once the baby comes it will change. I know you said you are wealthy, and I must remind you that your parents are wealthy, not you. They will not be raising the baby, you will. So you need to decide if you have the money to back up raising a child... remember each child means about $100,000 spent on them from birth till their 18th birthday. And lets not forget rent for a place to live, food, utilities, doctors visits, dipers. Ya I know, it sucks to be an adult, but if your pregnant, thats what you will become. Or you could place the baby for adoption or have an abortion. You need to decide your own morals for that one and not be swayed by others. If your not pregnant, than your good... for this month. Just remember for the birth control pill to be effective, it needs to be taken at the same time every day (4hr before or after reduce the effectency substancially) and follow directions to a T. Plus use condoms, they are the only way to prevent you from getting STD... and if your freaking out about if your pregnant, just imagine how bad it's going to be when you need to get an AIDS test. And just an FYI, you can only use speracide comdoms once in a 24hr period, you need to use nonsperacide after that or else you will get an infection (a little known fact that is stated right on the box). You probably arn't pregnant, your just freaking out. But congrats on being safe, using a condom and getting yourself on the pill, that does show maturity.

Answer 5

I got pregnant when I was 17, and I wasn't a skank either, I was deceived...but that's another story. Hon, I can relate and you're the one who needs to make the decision. I can offer advice, but ultimately, it's your decision.
I did have my daughter, and I don't regret having her and keeping her. She's great. I will tell you though, having a baby so young was a great hardship. Of course, I ended up a single mother so all the weight has been on me. I thought I was grown up and mature and ready for anything at your age too, but in hindsight, I still think I was more mature than most kids my age, but I wasn't an adult yet and I wasn't ready. You still have lots of years ahead of you, be a kid and have some fun before you force yourself into being all grown-up. I hope this helps =) Good luck.

P.S. Keep me posted and if you need to talk, send me an email =)

Answer 6

That sounds pretty young to be having sex, but since it's already done, what can I say?

Yes, of course people will judge you. That's just what people LOVE to do. But THAT is not the reason you shouldn't have this child. You are so young, and your life will be over.

Kiss goodbye college, a rewarding career, fun nights out with the girls, and almost all freedoms. You will be stuck to a responsibility for the next 18 years. I know you think you are in love, and perhaps that's true, but love changes and if you guys ever decide to break up, who do you think will be the one home at night taking care of the baby.

May advice? Take a pregnancy test - you can get them now at the DOllar Store. If you're preggers, talk to your parents. They must be pretty great people to havce raised a girl like you. They'll help you with what to do.

Oh, and Saintfighter you judgemental sanctimonious ***, leave this little girl alone! You have no right telling girls what to do with their bodies, especially you being a male who has NO CLUE what she is about to go through if she takes your advice.

Answer 7

IM JUST LIKE YOU...EXPECT MOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE!!!!I'm 14 and I'm also mature for my age....i mean it. Plus, I'm also a straight A student. But...I am not having any relationship with anybody like that. Im not going to ruin my future!You might be a honor roll student...but what you are doing isn't so smart. No matter how "incredible" he is or how much you adore him, sex is very wrong for you two. Since its too late to tell you not to do it, quit having sex and stay on birth control. Ask your doctor about your chance of pregnancy. No matter what...sex is not right. You are young and the world will surely judge you for this because this is a choice you decided to make.
What has this world come to? Sex is a gift you give to your husband. You two are going to like other people...you've only been with A FREAKIN YEAR! You are making a big mistake...please think about this! I hope you are not pregnant!!!
You are not ready for this no matter how much it hurts to hear!! This will indeed hurt you future!!Most importantly, tell your mom. Its the mature thing to do.
Think about it and email me. Wish you luck. :)

Answer 8

Ok...Honestly If you beileve that you are mature for your age..chances are you might be however...its not what you think , theres something called reality. If you are pregnant you will get a chance to realize this. You should really reflect on your situation and think about the position your putting youself in. It seems like you have alot of support so whatever the outcome is remember the baby is innocent. You sound like you will have no problem taking care to the child financially, but think about all the sacrifices you will need to make because you are still young.

Answer 9

Having sex when you're not married doesn't make you a skank - I agree - but it also doesn't make you "mature for your age."

No sex is safe because even the best birth control can fail, and if even if you aren't getting pregnant you're exposing yourself to STD's, emotional ups and downs and all the other nasty things no one ever bothers to warn you about when they talk about sex outside of marriage.

And this guy you're with....is he really incredible? Why does he want to have sex with you and then make you use birth control? Because he wants to have pleasure without any consequences. Not a man in my book. He's using you.

A real man respects a woman and her body and doesn't make her get on the Pill so he can have fun. A real man can control his sexual appetite until he is ready to commit, marry and be a father.

If you want to start becoming more mature, put this (possible) child up for adoption, stay in school and then start looking for a good and responsible man to commit to.

Answer 10

Why is a child having a baby and unprotected sex. Being mature has nothing to do with it...it is your age for goodness. Neither one of you have a high school diploma, college degree, a good paying job, a car or a house. This is just a sad situation that 2 young kids had to lay up and get pregnant before they even became adults.