I had a miscarriage last month...about 4 months into it. We had everything planned. But after that happened he started being such a d*** to me. We made plans, he'd go out and do something else. He didnt want me hanging around our guy friends, everything I wanted to do with him was "boring" and i jus been so unhappy i dont need his crap. I don't even know how to get over the miscarriage and he acts like this, so i left him. He's mad, i'm sad. but i want to be strong. is it wrong?
2006-07-16 08:17:28 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
No. you are doing what you DECIDED to do and that is always right. follow to your first mind. If you are not happy then don't waste time.
2006-07-16 08:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by pretty_brown_eyes 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your loss. From what i've been told via a friend who lost a baby at 17 weeks 4months 1 week, IT WAS NOT CALLED A MISCARRIAGE but, a stillbirth and that child was named aND had a burial. A loss after 12 weeks is handled diffrently then it is before that. Anyhow i lost a pregnancy ay 10 weeks it tore apart a 7 year relationship we already had 1 child. We split less the 2 years after that loss. Eeryone told me he was just dealing with it in his own way i was too emotional exc. I think getting out of that relationship was the best thing i ever did. A loss can bring a couple together or rip you apart. I wish you luck follow your heart if he is not the right guy for you there are BETTER out there.The man i'm with now treats me so much better has more to offer and all around is a better match for me. I'll always miss what could have been with my lost pregnancy i learned a lot about who i was and who that babies father was thru the experience of that loss.
2006-07-16 17:29:57 · answer #2 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't any wrong or right in this situation. When a couple has a miscarriage, it can either make their relationship stronger, or break it up. I guess your relationship wasn't strong enough to get through the miscarriage but at least you know now. You'll find someone else and have a strong relationship with him.
2006-07-16 15:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to say you are wrong or right. I will say this:
Have you thought about what it was like for him to lose a child? I know it was painful for you. But many times, a woman is so consumed by her own pain and grief that she overlooks the feelings of her partner. That is why so many marriages go under after the death of a child (lack of communication in regards to feelings). That sounds like what happened here.
You know know how to get over the miscarriage, and maybe he doesn't either.
I say talk to him. It can't be a coincidence this behavior started right after you miscarried.
2006-07-16 15:32:17 · answer #4 · answered by chele2382 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. The loss of a child is traumatic for both parents regardless of the age or if the fetus is yet to be born. It can bring couples closer together or tear the relationship apart. Grieving the loss takes time and patience regardless if you are together or not. Give yourself to just be okay with all that has happened and reassess things later. Maybe there is something to salvage but it's hard to see at the moment. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you peace.
2006-07-16 15:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several things to consider. Is this his way of showing that he's affected by the miscarriage and his way of dealing with it. Another thing to look at is that since you're not pregnant anymore, maybe he feels that he's not bound to you anymore and was thinking about dumping you. He's going to have to mature and remember that if you two are going to be together, then you're going to have to be #1 in his life, and not his friends. Having friends is no problem, but putting his friends in front on you, then that's a problem. If he can't handle that, then maybe it is time that you both go your separate ways. I don't blame you for leaving him, if I was in your position, I would have done that also. Best of luck to you......
2006-07-16 15:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is horrible . U should leave him and never give him a second chance cuz this is the time u need him the most and he is not being there for u. Just try to look for some fun things to do and keep yourself busy.
2006-07-16 15:26:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong for you to follow your heart, but I have suffered a miscarriage and understand and know from personal experience that you should seek some support or counseling before you make any concrete, final decisions.
I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
Please go to www.silentgrief.com - maybe you can find some help there. This site saved my life.
2006-07-16 15:22:23 · answer #8 · answered by AnaGameela 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets see, he doesn't want to hang out with you & his friends, (even so soon after your sad loss) he's being a jerk, he disregards your plans together, finds what you want to do together "boring" and you've been unhappy.....be strong and stay away from him 'til he grows up, IF he grows up.....some people never do. and don't be having unprotected make up sex, this boy is not ready to be a daddy!!
2006-07-16 15:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by panamm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he want to FIX your relationship, because you do. Then see if he will meet with a marriage counselor. Take things slow, and try to work things out.
If he is abusive in any way, then discuss terms for divorce. Contact your attorney.
2006-07-16 15:23:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you did the right thing. But at the same time, try opening up to him. I know you're hurting right now, but remember...he lost a baby too. He's probably just as hurt as you are and just doesn't know how to express it.
2006-07-16 15:51:12 · answer #11 · answered by BarbwireNRoses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋