im going out with this lad, for bout 1yr. I care about him and i did love him but recently i just dont like being with him the same as before uno, my head is telling me that i should leave him but theres still a place in my heart for him, i dont want to hurt, i really dont, what should i do?
2006-07-16 07:57:06 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I really hate to tell you this, but the time has come to leave him if you feel that way.
2006-07-16 08:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by OneRunningMan 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Spend one last time with him. Plan the entire day and be sure to let him now that this is the last time you two will be together. You could start the day with maybe a walk and then breakfast. Some activities in between the end of breakfast and before lunch. You can figure out the rest until later on at night. You can bring him back to your place and have sex for the last time. Get it out of your system. At the end wene you two are finished before you cuddle with him be shure to send him on his way to let him know that this was the last night. Either you will find your feelings for him again and the day spent together will reignite your fire or you'll see that you just couldn't stand to spend the entire day with him for another time and you will rid the emotions that you have realized that you won't have anymore. Its just like braking a bad habit. A method to brake a bad habbit is to do it so much that you can't stand to do it anymore. Except in this case the method might have a reverse affect. A chance that you might beable to take but if your not then you may have to go through many more days, months and or years of heart acke and brain trauma.
2006-07-16 15:42:07 · answer #2 · answered by nostridomius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Above all, you've got to be honest. It'll all come out in the wash anyway. You can't help how you feel or don't feel for someone - all the wishing in the world can't change that. The truth can hurt but it's better than him knowing somewhere inside, that something is wrong, maybe for months, even years (it's amazing how we can not see something we don't want to see).
If your "Having a place in your heart for him" is true, then work out just what place in your life that gives him, if any. If it's just a way of having someone in tow, then that's unkind and you should tell him you have nothing for him.
Make your mind up: it's either a short sharp painful shot of the truth, or a long lingering death - for him it seems.
Good luck.
2006-07-16 15:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by stormsurfer_is_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact is that if you continue in this relationship without either a) having the courage to end it, or b) having a heart-to-heart with him, then you are going to end up hurting him anyway. You must make a decision: do you want to stay with him or not? It sounds like the latter is true, in which case you have to tell him. He will be upset now, but you will both find somebody else.
If you don't want to break up with him, however, then try to find out exactly what he does that pisses you off or is making you get bored of him.
2006-07-17 00:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by so_it_goes_2512 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your not depressed then there seems little point in carrying on with the guy. Perhaps you should talk to the guy, tell him how you feel, don't give him the "its not you its me bs", just tell him how you feel, write it in a letter to say how you feel as a backup in case it all goes wrong.
But if you care about him tell him why you must go your own way.
Men need closure, it helps.
And then bug out if thats what you think you should do. Lifes too short to make each other unhappy dragging out a lie.
2006-07-17 11:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by Dirk Wellington-Catt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your heart will heal eventually, I think that if your head's telling U 2 leave him, DO IT! It's very difficult 2 leave a guy, because we get our feelings involved, we don't want him 2 feel bad, we ourselves don't want 2 feel bad/hurt, etc, etc,etc... But when your head's obviously the "boss" in this particular situation, PAY ATTENTION! If U don't want 2 hurt, dump him RIGHT NOW... If U wait until things get duller/ugly you'll regret it. You've been presented with a great opportunity, so: YOU GO, GIRL!!! I'm with you 100%! If U feel sad or wanna talk, give me a "call"!!! ;0) I'm with U sis!
2006-07-16 15:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by Bleue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has gone wrong? Trusts your instincts and be honest with yourself. If there is something about him that you don't like and can't live with, then you need to do yourself a favour and end the relationship. Holding on because you don't want to hurt his feelings is lying to yourself. Rather, you will be hurting his feelings and belittling him by feeling sorry for him. He doesn't need your pity, he needs your honest and genuine love. Talk to him, tell him what's on your mind, and let him have the opportunity to respond. Then you can make an infromed decision that will be good for you.
2006-07-16 15:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by Princess Lueji 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are even raising this question on a public website means that within your own thinking you have already decided to finish with him. You are just looking for reassurance. A relationship can only prosper when the head matches the heart.
2006-07-16 15:11:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should learn how to spell.
Secondly, if you're not into him anymore, just be up-front and honest. Do not toy with him and lead him on. You'll just end up hurting him ten times more.
Next time you're dating someone, make sure it's someone you really want to be with. Not just mess around with and then end of leaving him high and dry. Guys can be hurt just as much as girls.
2006-07-16 15:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you no longer enjoy spending time with him and you think you should break up with him, then there's your answer. You may still care for him, but it could be even more hurtful in the long run if you let it continue. Best to end it now....
2006-07-17 07:34:07 · answer #10 · answered by newcastlefan2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just face the hard truth that although you got a place in your heart for him, the passion and glue needed to keep you together just isnt there anymore.
End it now and give him a chance to find someone who appreciates him, and you also deserve the chance to be with someone that can fulfill your needs.
2006-07-22 15:33:46 · answer #11 · answered by Girl From Mars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋