borderline personality disorder and marriage?

Question

my wife has borderline personality disorder, she has not been diagnosed yet but fits all the critiria. This is having a really negative effect on our marriage, she will love me one day and want me to move out the next. Its gut wrenching. I will support her in anyway that i can but i dont know how or what to do. As of right now she doesnt even want to touch me. it has gone on for a few days and happened a month ago as well. She gets these mood swings and then feels like she doesnt love me. Sometimes these negative times last for weeks at a time. It is distroying us and breaking my heart. I do not want to lose this wonderful women. What can i do? Is there any kind of medication that helps with this? I want to get into a therapeist but i have to find one that does the sliding fee scale due to our money situation. Those arent easy to find around here. Please help me. It would kill me if this family falls apart. (by the way we have a 2 year old boy)

Answer 1

I had a boyfriend with BPD whom I loved dearly but couldn't take any more and left.
I was exhausted after 2 years, but I would have stayed (although I can't say for how much longer) if he started theraphy. He didn't.
I wrote a long post about it. Look at:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmtK2JPR6Sg.V.SshB8faZjsy6IX?qid=20060720163132AAmq94w

Answer 2

Look up in your phone book or yellow pages on internet, for the State Division of Mental Health or the State Division of Mental Hygience. They are based on a sliding fee scale.

Are you sure she has borderline personality disorder and not a mood disorder? Best you left the profesisonal evaluate her.

Remember you are responsible for the health, welfare and safety of your two-year-old so get help quickly. He should not have to endure his Mother's mood changes. Some times tough love is the only answer.

Answer 3

Wow.. that's sad!

Will your insurance help out? Does your employer offer any benefits for counseling? If you don't get help it will continue to get worse. Can you borrow money to pay for counseling?

She sounds like she needs constant re assuring! Sometimes being at home with a small child can make you doubt your womanliness or attractiveness. Maybe take her someplace for a mini vacation... or send her to a spa for a massage..... AWAY from your son. Do something special for her see if that helps. When you are alone.. keep your expectations low.. don't pressure for sex!! Compliment her on something (little) or big) she has done right. Examples: a clean house, a new item for herself or the house, or tell her that she is a good mom. This is going to take TIME! Encourage her to go out with friends while you babysit... Not to go out and party, but to just talk with her friends over coffee or something. Keeping those adult relationships going will help her with her insecurities!!!

Hope this helps!! This sounds identical to my brother and his wife, right down to the two year old!!!!

Good luck

Answer 4

I am sorry i really can't be of any help due to the fact that i know nothing about this disorder but i just wanted to tell you that you sound like a real nice man who love his wife deeply and i respect that in you i pray that god blesses you and forever keeps you and yours.The world needs more men like you.

Answer 5

Get this poor woman some help! She is riding the same roller coaster of emotions as you are (it maybe even worse for her). There is medication. There is help. Contact your local social services office (look in the phone book). They can help you find the right people to help you and her.

Answer 6

I'm not sure what you should do.except for you to keep doing what you're doing.yes there is medicine that she can take but I'm not sure what it is.the best thing for you to do is take her to the doctor.and see if he can help.good luck

Answer 7

you are on you own sorry dude