Some people think older/younger relationships are taboo, depending on the motives, and others relish them. What is your opinion, and what is a significant difference for you and how much is too much? What does it depend on? Thank you in advance.
2006-07-16 06:24:57 · 12 answers · asked by Tall Guy 3 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
I'm appreciating your answers and elaboration. Especially your experiences too. It sounds like most answers are coming from women. I wonder why?
2006-07-16 06:40:31 · update #1
Some psychologists's say birth order plays a role in relationship, with oldest ones doing best with youngest ones. Would an oldest born, but young partner, do well with a youngest born, but older partner? I think so. Youngest borns tend to be more mature, and youngest borns less so. It's like meeting in the middle but at different ages. This is based on work by Alfred Adler.
2006-07-16 07:53:22 · update #2
I don't think it has anything to do with years, and more to do with the personalities of the individuals involved, and their shared interests and views. Sometimes 5-10 years can be too much of a difference, if one of the individual's is too immature, or if there's not enough in common between the two. Twenty years is do-able, if the individuals have common interests and views.
2006-07-16 06:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am 35 and my wife is 29. This may not seem like much of an age difference but when you compare the way she grew up(divorced parents) and the way I did (my parents were together until my Dad passed away - 43 years of marriage) and the morals and beliefs we were both taught, a great difference. The only thing I can say is that maturity plays a major part in matchmaking. If you are under 25 yrs. of age, you are probably too young for any serious relationship. Another key is that an older man has the advantage in a lot of cases in 17-18 yr old puppy love. By this age, a man has learned the key to manipulation and will use it on the naive younger girls.
Women search for a strong admirable guy that can replace her father. Men, on the other hand, look for a nurturing woman figure to care for and love them in the way they hold dear.
In any case, trust and understanding the true definition of love are the key factors here.
Understanding that, I will say that women should not date any one older than 2-4 yrs until they reach at least 25. On the other hand, if a man should seek older woman, he may be in for a learning experience. An older woman can be a true leader and some one to look toward for answers where as an older man may want to abuse the seniority.
2006-07-16 07:05:09 · answer #2 · answered by jimbo_jim_james 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This leads to a much deeper question - WHO IS IN CHARGE ? WHO MAKES THE RULES ?
On this issue people can make up their own rules all day long but there are no rules between consenting adults .
Biblical I see no rules on this issue as well except that the consenting adults be married if sex is to be included in the relationship.
Even so - most younger people tend to be repelled to enter into a courtship with one who is in an age that is much more than 12 years difference.
Women tend to go for older men. I'd say 15% older is the average with 25% older as being the general MAX. Do these generalities matter in a relationship ? Maybe , but I could care less if a 25 year old woman wants to be fulfilled by a 60 year old man.
BOSCO
2006-07-16 07:04:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend that lives by something called the "decade rule" If they are more than a decade older than you then don't date them. There are a lot of significant issues with having someone that much older than you. My boyfriend is 9 years older than me (barely obeying the decade rule lol) and there is a definite generation gap between us. The shows he watched as a kid, I've never heard of, etc. We get along ok though. There is also the issue of retirement. If you date someone significantly older than you then they will retire and you will still be working and in a completely different place in your life for another 10 years or so. As you get older I think it matters less though. Like if you're 60, they're 75. Probably not that big of a difference even though you have to realize this sets you up for a significant amount of time in your life where your significant other will probably be dead and you will still be living.
2006-07-16 06:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by musicmonkey_73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married to a person 15 years my senior. We do have conflicts when it comes to dicipline. Life values change. You both must be open to the others differences. I would say each person has their own level of maturity. It's good to be with someone close to your own mature self. The age difference is a factor, but, as far as how many years difference is hard to say. Also, how a person was raised & their religious beliefs are very important. Do you want children? Will you be able to accept a step-child as your own? Are you or your partner secure in your self asteem? Are either of you willing to be the only money maker? Are either of you willing to and able to take care of your partner if they are incapacitated? This is all part of it.
2006-07-16 06:45:20 · answer #5 · answered by D P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, if you're 50 and going out with a 25 year old person then go for it. If both of you are consent adults who love each then screw what the rest of the world says and thinks. Hell, I wish I was dating a 25 year old woman.
2006-07-16 06:35:58 · answer #6 · answered by The Chaotic Darkness 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends on the ages 18 and75 is ok. but 13 and 75 not
2006-07-16 06:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to put age limits on it, bit if it looks like you're out to get "great-grandpa's" money by marrying him, well, that might be a bit of an age gap. Also, if your partner wants to listen to Lawrence Welk and you say "Who's that???" you might have an age gap. This could be like the redneck jokes... "You might have a relationship age gap if..."
2006-07-16 06:32:20 · answer #8 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too many grey areas. Just like the abortion issue or the evolution issue. It'll probably never be concretely resolved. Just be sure to avoid situations that'll send you or someone else to jail and you'll be OK.
2006-07-16 06:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by Ricky J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is grass in the field, play ball. If not flip them over and play in the mud.
2006-07-16 06:29:35 · answer #10 · answered by Sulli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋