I was in love with a gal some 4 years back and we were so close that twice we even had sex with condom. We broke up due to various reasons. I am planning to get married in the next one year (searching for right person). Now do you think it will be better to confess everything to the Girl who is going to marry me. She might end up knowing this through some other sources too...but the question is whether I should confess myself or not
2006-07-16 05:52:00 · 23 answers · asked by NANDU 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Confess you are not a virgin? It shouldn't matter unless you lied before. If you lied and said you were, or that you never slept with THIS woman in question, then honesty is the only thing that can set you free. Do it now.
If your previous sexuality was never discussed...let it be. It obviously means nothing to her then.
2006-07-16 05:56:52 · answer #1 · answered by Mark W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you have sex with this woman while you were with your current girl? If you weren't there is nothing to confess. You mention that you "were" in love with this girl 4 years ago. Sounds like past tense to me. If you believe this is going to become a problem in the future with your wife, then think twice before you marry her. Otherwise, leave the past just where it is, in the past.
2006-07-16 06:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a female, I guess it's even harder for guys to accept a girl if she's not virgin. I doubt girls will mind as much as guys would. If let's say I were to be you but still a woman, I would tell my man the truth. But I will choose to tell in when I start developing stronger feelings for him, still in the earlier stage of course. If he decides to leave, it wouldn't be as painful as it would if I tell him later when things are more settled. Getting married is a forever kind of commitment for me, I don't wanna stay guilty for life :) You can choose to just keep quiet, but you will always have no peace in heart. Then just forget about pure happiness. Don't get married for the sake of getting married. You don't wanna regret later.
2006-07-16 06:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is going to find out then you should man up and tell her if your love is true there isn't a mountain you two can't move together. Better come from you than anyone else, think of how much more that would her hurt her in the long run, i think a better question to ask yourself would be, would'nt it hurt her worse if it came from someone else?
2006-07-16 06:06:48 · answer #4 · answered by Angel & QueensKnight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel the need to "confess?" I had that kind of naive thinking when I got married the second time. Ridiculous. Your life is your life. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to explain. Unless you have baggage why create it?
2006-07-16 06:00:33 · answer #5 · answered by sweetpea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, unless there is something that happened in past relationships that will effect your current one. everyone has history and unless your history will have a direct impact on your new relationship (std, a child, shared ownership in a business or real estate), i see no need in disclosing. so what if she finds out from other family or friends...she'd be silly to expect that you were just sitting around waiting for her to come along.
2006-07-16 06:03:35 · answer #6 · answered by loving 40+ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must ask yrself do you really want married her do you really love her by now? if yr answer is not then you shouldn't get married you are doing something unwilling and you are badly hurt her! if you do love her by now then you should tell her the true what had you been, she got to right to choose to accept or not and decided.
2006-07-16 06:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by loveable_chic19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO what was in the past stays there!
She probably has a few long tails in her closet too!
Do youwant to know about every time she touched a man ?
2006-07-16 05:56:20 · answer #8 · answered by Solaman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shud,relationships are based on thruth,and if the foundation of your relationship is a lie,then what kind of a relationship wud it be?and your wife wud have a right 2 know,before u marry her!!its only fair u tell her.
2006-07-16 06:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by a girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your asking if you should confess your sex act to a woman you don't even have yet? i say if she ask, then be honest. don't give up any info till then, no need to rock the boat.
2006-07-16 05:58:02 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Berry Picker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋