I will try to keep this one short! I thought I would post it here to see if I get a better response. To keep it short I will not give details but I will say my mother is narccisitic, milipultive and can be abusive to children. (I saw it with my neice and nephew) She has not contacted me since the day before I was induced. I am not using my baby as a weapon to keep her from my parents, I just don't want her around my TOXIC FAMILY.
They stand for nothing and lack morals and values. I do not want her in that environment. Everyone is talking about "grandparents rights". What about my right as a mother to protect my child, so she won't have to suffer the way I did.
2006-07-16 05:15:56 · 10 answers · asked by angelsmommy 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Do it. I have done it for myself. Divorce your family.
Move on.
2006-07-16 05:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by helixburger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Sweetie do I ever know the boat your in - not with my parents but with my husbands. My inclination was to never allow my children to be around his parents; however, I quickly learned that if we didn't go to them, they had a habit of just showing up and making it very difficult for us to have any control over how long they stayed. Take consolation that unless your living with them or find that you are continuing the cycle of abuse that you were raised in, your child is not going to be as influenced by them as by you. Rather than having no contact, I'd say it would be to your advantage to make sure you are in charge of the contacts. You limit how much time is spent with them and be there every minute. But not allowing them to see your child may not be in your best interest or your child's in the longrun. Trust that children are extremely intuitive. They actually read people better than we do as adults and if the situation is uncomfortable for them are inclined to say so or just pitch a fit every time you suggest getting together. On the other hand, not allowing your child to see them - even as they are - is not always a good thing. Children need to learn to read people's intentions: they need to recognize why some people are easier to be around while others aren't and why. If you make all those choices for your child then how will they learn to read people and make wise choices about who to or not to associate with in the future. Today its grandparents - will it be friends later. Think about it. Your not always going to be able to be with your child every moment of the day to determine if the associations being made are good or bad. Help your child learn to read the difference in people while you can. Mind you I am assuming that the abuse you speak of was mental and not physical. Either way that is why I advised that you be there during all contacts and if they say something that you, as a parent, disagree with - tell them so.
2006-07-16 05:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by Sonie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some cases perhaps they don't deserve rights, but perhaps you could let her see your baby with you there all the time. Keep in mind that you don't ever have to let your mother or anyone else in your family for that matter visit your child without you there. It might be good for your child to know your family and what they are like so that your child will know what you have come from. It could help your child understand you better.
2006-07-16 05:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by Purdey EP 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandma's are the that previous. they are the two interior the early 60's on my mom and pa's component. My grandfather replace into born in 1934 and he's alive on kicking. My grandpa on my dad's component only turn 60.
2016-11-02 04:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by zubrzycki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you 100%. This society we are living in today is too concerned with granting everybody their 'rights' to try to keep everybody happy. I know that I have made this decision to keep myself away from my father, because he is belittling, sarcastic and offensive to everyone. I can only imagine him calling my boys names and making fun of them. I can not allow him to destroy their self esteem. I am protecting myself and my children, and just because we are related I will not have them close to this person. Screw his rights. When my children are older I will allow them to contact him if they want, but only when they are old enough to judge if this is the kind of person they want to be around.
2006-07-16 05:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by jetfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what's your question? Nobody has the right to hurt your kid. I don't care if the whole world thinks your wrong for keeping your kid from her grandma, if you think you're protecting her, then do so. It's your job to protect your children.
Infact, your niece and nephew's parents are wrong to let their kids get abused. I would keep my kid away from them, too.
2006-07-16 05:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anyone with a history of abusive behavior toward children, be it emotional, psychological, or physical, has no rights whatever, regardless who it is, or what relationship they hold. If your mother insists on seeing her grandchild, she should be told, very firmly, no, and be told very specifically why.
One opinion.
2006-07-16 05:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grand mothers are generally not harsh to their grand children even those who were not very good to their children.Dont judge your mother so harshly.Take her help.
2006-07-16 05:23:13 · answer #8 · answered by Padmini Gopalan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents are entitled to take care of their children.
Grandparents are not supposed to be responsible, unless by invitation.
2006-07-16 05:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by Timeless - watcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes time for court just have your proof. Witnesses, doctor statements etc.
2006-07-16 05:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋