OK, I know that this question is asked frequently but this is a special scenario. Im a 13 year old, str8 A student but the thing is im not str8. Im gay and ive known it 4 a while. i only have a cuple online gay friends and i wanna tell sumone im gay. Preferably my parents. They are so proud of me as i will be the first person in my family to go to college. And they arent exactly homophobic, but sometimes they say how they hate the way gay people talk but they support gay marriage! i dont get it, but how can i come out of the closet!
2006-07-16 04:46:19 · 13 answers · asked by gezzdaman44 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I do suggest you proceed with caution. I'm guessing that your parents might be shocked and even seem to be disappointed, but that may be more worry about your future. I don't sense they would toss you out. But many young men have faced such a thing. Also, many boys at 14, who have some homosexual fantasies, etc., end up being straight men. So the other responder is right, this probably isn't the time to tell your friends and others at school. Only you can judge how your parents will react, and actually if they react supportively, having their love and support through the rest of the coming out process, no matter how long it takes, would be great.
Look for some resources on the web. Start with the Human Rights Campaign. From their main page you can navigate to the "coming out" section. There's also a group called Lambda which sponsors a Safe Place for Youth. Some of these places may help you to read and safely explore your coming out options.
2006-07-16 05:16:09 · answer #1 · answered by michael941260 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Congratulations it sounds like you are doing great in school, and have a bright future.
Now on to the main topic, when if your parents are open enough to support gay marriage then chances are they will be just fine once you tell them.
I would suggest sitting your parents down and just opening up to them. Now when you first tell them there most likely will be allot of emotions running try to stay calm, and be willing to answer the questions that they will have. Remember it might take them a little while to process everything you have had awhile to think about all of it, they might need some time as well.
Good Luck!
2006-07-16 10:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by ak23boi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not everybody agrees with the gay marriage thing,this does not have anything to do with your parents being at all homophobic.You yourself say that they "arent exactly homophobic" well if they are not homophobic I feel that they deserve to know that you are gay as this will help them in understanding you more and able them to be more nurthuring and supportive. You as a young gay male will be all the more stronger for having the support of your parents.
2006-07-16 05:25:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey kid,
I told selected people when I was 14 -- and never went back in the closet. It never effected me at all -- but it depends on where you are what effect it will have in school. I also told my parents, who did not mind at all.
I obviously don't know your situtation. If I were you, I'd start by just being myself around my family. Then, I would tell my parents (or whichever one seemed more supportive) one day that there was something I wanted to tell them, but wasn't ready to yet. It wasn't anything that would effect my grades, nor would it make me take drugs or smoke or anything bad -- but it was important to me, and when I was ready I would tell them. Some time later -- weeks or maybe months later -- I would tell them that I was ready to tell them, and tell them not "I think I'm gay " or something else meant to equivocate and leave them unsure -- but as you've told us "I've known for a long time that I'm gay. I've thought about how to tell you for a long time, I was afraid you would hate me and I love you so much, I couldn't stand that." I might, very hesitantly, hand them literature from p-flag (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) at the same time.
The ball is then in their court. If they are the people you think they are, they will accept you -- but there is always some risk.
Kindest thoughts,
Reynolds Jones
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-07-16 05:14:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must settle down NOW! Tell NO ONE anything this personal, for it is NO ONE'S business. You don't ask what they do in the bedroom, and you are too young to do anything in a bedroom. PLEASE..do not tell your parents anything, and DO NOT TELL any of your friends...it will be all over your school before you can return the next day! You do not need to set yourself up for constant bullying, you do not need your parents upset..this is between YOU and YOU...keep it that way until you are in a postion to live ON YOUR OWN. You are about to make your life miserable for NO REASON..please listen to me! I know what I am writing about. Do not share this with anyone you know! They will turn on you in a second, for most people are more than just fools. Don't be one yourself.
2006-07-16 04:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a bi male: If I were you, I would keep this secret feeling until I was 21+ You need to concentrate on your studies, without the problems of harrassment and all that goes with it. Besides that, your feelings may change over the years. Right now you are in formation mode.
2006-07-16 06:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by tom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, i've been in the same situation and you know what i did? i talked it over with a priest. He recommended me to go and see a pscolgist. I asked to go to a pscicologist to my parents telling them that i had some trouble addapting to school studying and i'va had dreams. After going to the psicologist i turned overa new leaf. the problem was that i was no gay, but i just had to resolve a stage in my life.
please talk to a priest, or to a psocologist and ask help. do not talk about these to your father.
listen to me, try it. you can't lose anything
2006-07-16 08:27:36 · answer #7 · answered by ajbs s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet heart, be yourself around your parents and they will either accept it or begin talking about it. Be patient with them as this is not an easy subject for them to digest. Keep up with your studies but don't forget to have fun. Be safe, my dear friend.
Obviously, they are not finished thinking the whole thing through.
2006-07-16 04:54:13 · answer #8 · answered by cmpbush 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your parents are at least partially accepting of gays, but cringe at tthe sterotypical gay people. It may take a gay family membeer to have them fully accept gay people. If you feel they are ready to handle it, get them both alone one night, maybe at the kitchen table and tell them you want to tell them something.
2006-07-16 05:36:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a good web-site from the Human Rights Campaign telling you how you could "come out" to your family:
http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Coming_Out/Get_Informed4/Coming_Out3/Index.htm
Here is a link to OutProud where you can read stories about other people's coming out and how they did it and the reactions they got:
http://www.outproud.org/
2006-07-16 17:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by MindStorm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋