Divorced after 10yrs from a man that cheated on me throughout the entire relationship with multiple women. I now have met a man that loves me implicently and there are times that I don't think that I could love him any more, but then red flags occur, I think see signs that he might not be "the one". I believe that things happen for a reason and believe that he is in my life for a reason, but I am too afraid to allow myself to completely trust that he'll never leave or hurt me. I don't want to go through another divorce. We got engaged w/the understanding that I couldn't say when, but now I have people pushing me to go through with the marriage because I am pregnant. I know that I have to make it legal in God's eyes, but I am petrified to get hurt again! I am just so afraid to make it legal. He knows my fears and does not pressure me, but I know that this would make him happy. He is a good man, I just need to figure out if he is "the one" or if it is my fear of marriage.
2006-07-16 04:16:23 · 4 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I too believe things happen for a reason. This man was brought into your life for a reason. If you are not ready yet then tell him you need some more time. If he loves you he will wait. But sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. Not all men are cheaters, there are men who love one woman and only one.
I was just married yesterday. I was in a verbally abusive relationship prior, he left me for another woman who "understood him" My husband now is the most loving, understanding, compassionate man. He showed me not all men are like my EX. I took a leap of faith, because I believe God brought him too me.
Good Luck Prayer always helps
2006-07-16 05:20:08 · answer #1 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am going through a divorce right now and if I have learned one thing it is to listen to your gut. you can decide later to get married to him but for right now your gut is saying no. Having a baby is not the reason to get married don't listen to everyone else. If I would have listen to myself I wouldn't have gotten married. I had doubts but everyone said that it's normal to have doubts before you get married but it's not! You know as much as me living with someone is not the same as getting married you can always leave. It takes a long time to get yourself back to normal when you have to divorce. Girl you know what you want don't try to please anyone else but yourself. As to the other answers I agree that you should get counseling for yourself. With your mixed emotions and with you having a baby you are going to need all the support that you can get. However I don't agree with no one is ever a 100% sure. That saying makes people go into marriage thinking that their concerns are not vaild. Things don't change once you get married you know this from your pass. If it does anything people get lazy and stop trying and things get worse or ampilfied. I am not saying that you shouldn't get married or trying to down your fiancee', he may trully be the one but don't listen to everyone has doubts because when it's right you know. Trust in yourself.
2006-07-16 04:34:34 · answer #2 · answered by nm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pre-marital counseling!!! You don't want to enter into another marriage until you're ABSOLUTELY sure. Take it from one who knows. Also, you might want to think about clearing up some of the baggage from your ex first so you won't be bringing that into another marraige even if he's not the the problem. Good luck!
2006-07-16 04:29:56 · answer #3 · answered by morganga1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
morgana1 gave you the answer. Because of your past you have trust issues which are normal. But you need someone to help you sort these things out.
And no one is ever 100% sure.
2006-07-16 04:33:58 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋