BUMBLEBEE.
if i were a bumblebee and you a scented rose,
i,d invite myself to tea and nibble your toes.
i,d nibble you all over and make you squeak and trill,
lying in a bed of clover,keeping out the chill.
when morning came i,d serve you tea to keep you
satisfied.
and make you feel you wanted to be with a bumblebee
by your side.
i think it is a lovely poem by david lyne-gordon
2006-07-16 04:06:45 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
i did say it was by david lyne-gordon,sorry for saying my.
2006-07-16 04:14:01 · update #1
I like all the rest of the poem except the line, "lying in a bed of clover,keeping out the chill."
The rest of the piece evokes image of warm sunny summer days and the "chill" just doesn't fit with the mood. I think it would have been better for the author to maintain the mood and say "lying in a bed of clover, in the sun upon a hill" or something similar.
Otherwise it was cute and made me chuckle. Thanks for sharing it.
2006-07-16 04:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I dont like it. It doesnt scan, roses don't have toes, roses can't make noise and if they did what the hell does squeaking and trilling signify. Where did the bed of clover come from? Roses don't lie in beds of clover as a rule and how would this prevent a chill? Of all the things I could think of to keep someone satisfied a cup of tea wouldn't be at the top of the list. All in all I think its a dreadful piece of doggerel.
If I were a bogey and you a runny nose
I'd wait for you to sneeze so I could stick to all your clothes
I'd spatter on your trousers at the first hint of a sneeze
And hang around the the area of your flies and of your knees
When you least expected it I'd appear on your finger
And when you tried to flick me off I'd make sure that I would linger
2006-07-20 13:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mick H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poem is nice, but David Lyne-Gordon used to beat me up at recess in grade school. When I got to college he threw an all night kegger and that is where he stole my girlfriend. I'll get you David Lyne- Gordon, if it's the last thing I do!
Or did I dream all that stuff?
Doesn't matter! Revenge is mine!
2006-07-16 04:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by Pumpkin Head 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's a lovely composition,very sweet. I have never heard of David Lyne-Gordon and I would think that he has never heard of me either. For a rhyming poem, the metre is not very 'sharp', it falls away badly at the end, but the content is nicely thought-out.
This is the concluding 10 lines one of my own poems, tell me what you think of it. I don't mind what you say.
Wish I was wand'ring poppy-seed, 'stray,I'd
Nestle down deep in your nursery fair.
Under the frost-sharp moon I would lay, 'til
May's subtle sun-kiss excited the air.
Tall and heroic, full flushed I'd grow, and
Vie for your love with the blooms in the bower,
Sensing your nearness, fingers aglow, to
Seek musky fragrances waft' from my flower.
What wondrous devices would I employ,
To wax and to wane in your fold of joy?
2006-07-16 08:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by BENVEE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kewl
2006-07-16 04:12:23 · answer #5 · answered by xTekixNickolex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's lovely,it reminds me of the deep purple song,why didn't rose take the pill,cause if the old man won't do it then the devil will
2006-07-16 04:12:19 · answer #6 · answered by dale 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i love poem.keep it up.
i think you did a nice work with your poem,but i"ll like to know how long you have been writing poems.
2006-07-16 04:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by victor u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes very pretty
2006-07-16 04:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it's a lovely poem. :)
2006-07-16 08:15:48 · answer #9 · answered by Iseult 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice
love your rhythm
2006-07-16 04:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋