Abortion Issue?

Question

My boyfriend of three years says he will leave me if I get an abortion, but he knows as well as I do thtat he is not ready to have a child, and I'm trying to finish school. What should I do?

I am also having complicaave where i have a fibroid tumor growing and it could easily affect the babies health, and it is well possible that my baby will not come out healthy, please help. i should have added this important detail before.

Answer 1

What kind of boyfriend is he if his way of dealing with your making a decision he doesn't like is to threaten you?! Honestly, you're better off without him!!

Answer 2

O, I am sorry to hear of this dilemma. How old are the two of you? If you are very young (like high school) I'd go for abortion if I was you because this is a time in your life when you are supposed to grow as a person. So many things happen with you socially making the foundation for future and having a baby will make your life stop for at least two years. If you were my daughter I'd be sure to see that you did have the abortion - I'd be very pragmatic on the subject, because teenagers should not parent! Having an abortion will do something with you psycologically, but you should think about yourself and your possibility to have a good and secure future. I think that when the baby comes, being the mom takes all your time mentally. If you are, say 16 - your mental age will stop in a way. Not that having and living with the baby wont be nice and you will love it and you will of course grow in your role, but when your friends get 20 - you will mentally maybe not match them. You will miss out on so much in this period of your life. If you are 29 this is not such a big deal. You catch up on friends and family very quick.

If you are 23 - 25 and education is like college or so, you can be able to manage with help from the father and your families.

Remember - anyhow - if you chose to have the baby - you will love the baby. You will probably not regret having it. Ever.

Remember - anyhow - if you chose to take an abortion. It is OK. It is a legal right a woman has to control her own body and life. It is not a sin, it is not immoral. All this talk of murder and killing own flesh and blood - overlook it. It is not like that! Please do not let these comments lead you into something you are not ready for. Having a baby is a greater responsibility.

Good luck on your choise.

Answer 3

A fibroid tumor should not affect the health of the baby, and as far as you and your boyfriend not being ready for a baby,I think you should give the baby up for adoption. Abortion is such a bad decision. The unborn baby has no choice in the role that you and your boyfriend took in having unprotected sex as well as premarital sex. Why kill an unborn child because you realize you made a mistake. If you give the baby up for adoption, at least the baby will have a fighting chance to become a good person in life. If you have an abortion, there are several side effects that you need to be aware of that most clinics don't tell you about, because after all they just want your money for te abortion. Please rethink this, I have a daughter that had one several years ago, and she still has nightmares from all of it.

Answer 4

ok here goes. I had an abortion many years ago. I am not proud and I do feel guilty. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I guess 12 years later I have finally come to terms with it, but it hasn't been easy. If you have an abortion then make sure you go to counseling. (personally I felt that I commited murder)

I have one child. I work and I go to school. This has not been easy at all. Even though my child is 8 years old he still needs attention and help with his homework. So having a child and going to school will be tough, but is possible.

If you decide to keep the baby I would make the boyfriend watch him while you go to school and also watch him while you study.

You could have the baby and sign off your rights to the boyfriend and the baby could be his responsibity. If you do this you will have no visitations nothing with the baby legaly if your boyfriend chooses to do so.

There is always adoption too. I know there are alot of childern out there up for adoption but this is also an option. Perhaps you have a family member who may want to adopt. Then atleast you can be a part of your childs life.

As far as abortion, I personally would never do it again. I sufferd with depression for many years. When I got preg. the 2nd time it brought up all the guilt from the abortion again.

I am not going to try and talk you in or out of an abortion, but explore all your options and think how it will effect you in many differnt ways.

I hope things work out the best for you.

Answer 5

i know that this decision will be hard for you and you will need all the support that you can get. you know that neither one of you are ready for a child. props to you for being able to see this, so many young people today think that they can raise children at a very young age. adoption is always an alternative. i'm an adopted child and there are thousands of couples that are waiting to give a baby a good home. however, i would talk to a doctor about tumor. If carrying a child is going to effect your health or the babied health, sometimes there is nothing you can do but terminate the pregnancy. whatever you decide, just know that there are people out there who can help you. there are support groups for young mothers and abortion.

Answer 6

Well, I'm so against that whole abortion thing but it sounds like your boyfriend has a good head on his shoulder even if you know that you guys are not really. I think that you guys need to talk it all the way through about this because this is serious an you should let him know about you an your schooling if you already haven't. But I just think that your lucky to have a man that would not want you to get an abortion. Most guys that I know an dated would have said the same thing an I know because I was in you place once but I did what was right an kept my baby an yes he left but I didn't care that just showed me that he didn't love me the way he said he did, but then a few months later I ended having a miscarriage. Yes sad but maybe God has other plans for me an he did. You should follow your heart an do what YOU think is right.

Answer 7

If your boyfriend cared about you, he would try to weigh the options of knowing that neither one of you are ready to be parents. Besides, what constitutes him on being a good father if he is not ready to take on that responsibility?
If he can't take care of a child (or even himself), and you need to finish school, then abort. This is a decision that will be with you for the rest of your life. but, after saying that, do not dwell on it.
This is something you two should've been more careful about.
If you get an abortion and he leaves you, then there are TWO less people to worry about. Then, you can move on, focus on your school work and for God's sake, get the shot!
I wish you the best of luck and if I was you, let your boyfriend go, get the abortion and get the shot so that this does not happen until you are emotionally, physically, mentally and financially ready!

Answer 8

Ready or not, you already have a child. If you are just three weeks pregnant, her heart is already beating. By refusing to support the killing of the child you have created together, your boyfriend is showing that he truly cares about you. I'm sure that in addition to being concerned for the baby, he doesn't want you to suffer the physical and emotional after-effects of abortion.

Fibroid tumors are very common and are unlikely to affect your pregnancy or hurt the baby. Here is a good article about fibroids and pregnancy:

http://health.discovery.com/centers/pregnancy/americanbaby/fibroids.html

Please make sure you have all the facts about abortion before you do something both your boyfriend AND you regret. There is lots of support available for you and you will be able to finish your schooling. You can rise to meet this challenge. That is what families do. See:

Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; counseling and emotional support):
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

Photos of Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
http://www.standupgirl.com/site/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=218&Itemid=40

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

Answer 9

Thats a tough spot to be in. I can say from watching several friends go through that a few years ago, that it is somethign that has haunted them ever since they had the abortion. I think you will love the child unconditionally with or without him. If you dont want the responsibility, have the baby and put him/her up for adoption. That way you dont have the burden of aborting it for the rest of your life. Remember, its a decision you can not change and you have to live with that decision. I love my two daughters sooo much and wanted one more, but at only 24 I have severe probs. in my spine and pregnancy just puts too much weight on it. If you decided to go that route, we'd be more than happy to adopt your little one and give him/her a great home.

Answer 10

If he's not ready to have a child, but he tries to force you to have one, how fair is that? You need to do what is best for you. If he's really going to leave you because you do what you feel is right for the best of you, that's not someone I'd want to spend my life with.

Also, if he's not ready for the responsibility, he may very well leave you sitting anyway. Then you'd not only have the baby, and not be able to finish your education, but chances are good he wouldn't support you or the baby, so you'd be left as a single mother and not able to get a well-paying job because you lack a good education.

Answer 11

If you are not ready to have a child,then you shouldn`t be doing things that will produce a child.If you have already conceived ,then have that baby and put him up for adoption.Murder is not the answer,even if it is legal,it`s still murder.I recently saw a photo of a doctor operating on a baby while still in it`s mother`s womb,and after he cut through the sac,the baby reached out and grabbed the doctors finger.He was a living being already.Just because they are still inside ,doesn`t make them any less a human or alive.