My husband of 3 years hit the drink bad style and also smoked 40 a day costing me £420 a month. So I asked him to leave, the decision wasn't done lightly but I felt it had to be done.
I tried to get him help with his smoking and gambling addiction but he threw it back in my face and started to send me agressive and abusive sms messages.
He is accusing me of having an affair because I decide to go out on a nice day.
Yesterday I went to a BBQ at my parents house with the kids and I went to sleep as soon as we got back and I said that I would call him beforehand but tiredness forgot and he has started again with his abusive texts. He says he's going to get me sacked by telling my boss things.
He is on Fluoxetine and a sleeping tablet to get him through but he is refusing to take his medication. I have been to a solicitor and had his landline and his mobile barred, but I don't know what to do.
Can someone please advise me?
2006-07-16 02:20:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
babes that sounds terrible
fluoxetine has a terrible effect on you and its worsened by alcohol.
i would think the best thing for you to do is go to a solictor, apply for legal aid and get an injunction out against him, so he cannoty come nr you for a while
2006-07-16 02:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had kind of the same thig with my ex husband he kept texting and phoning me all the time but he was mentally abusive during our relationship I had to leave my house at 4am just incase he came over to have a go try and kidnap our son so I went away on holiday and moved without telling him where I was legally you can do that as long as they have some way of contacting you like through a family member you do not have to tell him where you live .I think it wud be best to move and not contact him for a while so he can get himself sorted and advise your boss before hand about the situation just incase ,I have not seen my ex since I was 3 months pregnant with our twins they are 2 and a half now and all three kids are happy without their dad in their lives maybe fora little while yours wud be better off too.Take care
2006-07-16 02:28:04 · answer #2 · answered by stephy200125 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy obviously has a lot of probs and the best thing you did was ask him to leave, this chap needs a lot of psychiatric help and until he does so he is on a downward spiral and will try to drag you down with him.
You helped him till it got too much and you have the intelligence to see his problem was your problem, so, stepping back will help you but he must sort his probs with professional help, he can't do it alone and with respect it needs a medical support system.
Best of luck anyhow.
2006-07-16 02:49:52 · answer #3 · answered by DOC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the law in Britain, but can you get a restraining order against him? This is supposed to keep him away from you and have the police arrest him if he breasks the order. Other than that, you should cut contact with him completely for the time being, it appears that any response you give him only inflames his anger. Give yourself time to be at peace, and time for him to cool down. Good luck, and please be careful.
2006-07-16 02:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by slackster1998 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
iknow lot of people smokes more than husbends do..and its not easy to make them stop...the only way to make him stop is making him wants 2 stop...so this isint simple and yes its so hard but there is a chanse...first thing u need 2 do is to take him to a this drug hosbitals where they separate ur husbend from his world..and make him in this hosbital under care for couple of mounths and they well make him stop smoking time by time and u need to supprt him everyday other wise there is no chanse
and if u wanna just leave him..just change ur hole life...change ur address even ur name and everything and get away from town where he never can find u
2006-07-16 02:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by superguy0084 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sever all ties with this guy. he sounds like bad news all over. get a restraining order and inform your boss about the problems he's got. that way, you wont get fired. take the kids, move out of the old apartment, change your address and phone numbers and start anew.
2006-07-16 02:26:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop responding to him at all. dont read his messages they just upset you. he is still getting his way when you react to him so he has no reason to change. you cant make him take is meds so dont worry about that either. if he really wants to straighten up he will when you show him some tough love and make him stand on his feet. good luck to you. i hope this helped some.
2006-07-16 02:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by mojomuppet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand he is your husband after 3 years but if i were you i wouldn't put up with it. by the sounds of it he's not willing to change he doesn't want help and you can't have a life i'm sorry but you are an entilted to a life and space and you can't change someone if they don't want too. I know you want to help but to me it sounds like he doesn't want help
2006-07-16 02:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously needs serious help! But if he will not listen there is not much you can do. Do you love him enough to keep trying?
I guess that is what you must ask yourself.
Seek pro advice.
Good luck
2006-07-16 02:28:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree w/mojo... dont read his mail, try to avoid him,,,this is his comfort zone to keep the "connection alive"..you must keep busy w/other projects and maybe find a support group or church...cut the tie to him and listen to your little voice in your heart/head that is really telling you what to do..good luck.
2006-07-16 02:40:54 · answer #10 · answered by cswbclub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋