how do I get my husband to help out more at home?

Answer 1

It depends on your husband. As someone else said, you cannot out slob a slob. However here is possibilities.

Take a vacation from all of the things you normally do to the extent that you can. Maybe you keep doing laundry (including his but only when YOU are down to your last pair of undies.

Don't vacuum. Let dishes pile up on the counter. Take clean ones from the dishwasher. Don't wash the floor. Leave stuff wherever he leaves it. Do not put it away for him.

And don't make a big deal out of it! See how long it takes for him to notice (it was over two months in my house!)

After the big argument then see if you can get him to do some of the work.

And remember to thank him for whatever he does! Guys do not look at it as their responsibility. They will look at it as helping you. And you may need to accept that guys level of clean may not meet your standards. The counter may not be squeaky clean when he is done but atleast there are no large chunks stuck to it!

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Scenario #1: Both of you have jobs and when you come home, you want and need more of his help.

Scenario #2: He works at a job and you stay home all day. He gets home and you nag him to death to get him to do what he thinks is your job.

Under scenario #1, your question is legitimate. If you have a job and he does too, then reason with him on that basis, divide up the chores and press on.

Under scenario #2 quit your nagging. That gains nothing except to drive your husband away. Under this scenario you have no basis to justifiably reason your husband into helping you. Under this scenario he will help you when he wants to help you. The question is how do you make him want to help you? First of all, he must see that you are not lazy. He must see that you are tired from your labors. Here's a little story to illustrate: Man drives car fast. Wife screams at him to slow down. Man gets mad. Doesn't change his speed. Tired of listening to his wife whine and nag. Now another version: Man speeds. Wife tells husband that the speed scares her. Now Man's protective instincts kick in and he slows the car down. No woman gets what she wants by beating up her husband. You get what you want by appealing to his manhood. The more a woman submits to a good man, the happier she will be. She will find that submitting to a good man brings freedom. Such a man will want his wife to flourish. She will flourish. We're not talking enslavement here, we are talking about achieving harmony. You get there and your husband will want to lift the heavy loads for you.

Answer 3

Well i went on strike...that helped somewhat but he only picked up the living room...then I just went crazy i guess and put the fear of me into him...And now (but im pregnant) He helps out alot..I just had to act crazy and cry all the time and it scared him...So now when i feel overwelmed by the disaster..since my 2 year old can demolish a house in 5 minutes and so can my husband ...i call him and freak and he says honey ...ill do it for you dont worry about it. Hes so wonderful.

Answer 4

Use words of affirmation. Read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Answer 5

After 26 years I have learned I have to lead by example. He is a pack rat and a slob. You can never outslob a slob, so don't try that. And talk to him. Though it may not be pleasant, because you are asking him to do what he would rather not do, you have to ask him.

Answer 6

I don't know!!! I've given up realizing there are some things he will NEVER do - like put away the laundry. But there are so many other things that he will do... like vaccuuming and cooking and doing the dishes, that I think I am willing to let it go...

Answer 7

Good luck. Been trying to get my man to help out for 22 years now with no luck. Sorry.. wish I could give you some encouraging words.. but none here to give.

Answer 8

this worked for me,
i told mine that if he would start picking up his underwear and putting them in the bathromm in the cloth hampper i would do nasty things in bed,every time he did something good for me.
and it worked,and then i told him for he cleaned the house and like i do that he could have anything thing cooked for him that he really wanted.
that worked to and still does today.
but i'm tired from all the other work now,lol
good luck

Answer 9

Tough. Are his standards of cleanliness and order substantially different than yours? That may be the rub. Can you negotiate to give him something of value and he gives you something of value (help).

Answer 10

If you have asked him before to help and he won't do it:
Do the laundry...except his.
Do the dishes...except his.
Do everything you would normally do, just omit his.