Someone please help me. I have been married happily for 2 years now and have never cheated on my wife. She is also my first everything. We found out just recently that she is 2 months pregnant. Ever since I found out I have been having sex dreams about a female co–worker. Me and this female are very close and are good friends. I just can’t stop thinking about her. Is it normal for me to be feeling this while my wife is pregnant with my first baby? I feel so bad for even thinking about another woman... What should I do?!?!?! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!
No one knows about these feelings...
2006-07-16 01:22:54 · 17 answers · asked by A leap in the right direction. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your life is about to change forever and that is a very frightening endevor...no matter how happy the occasion for the change. So please do not feel badly about your dreams.
First, it is OK and very normal to appreciate another beautiful person...just remember that saying your mom always used...."touch with your eyes and NOT your hands!" ;) And don't be as naive as I was, to assume that you are the only one appreciating another's beauty. Just because you are dreaming about someone else doesn't make your commitment to your wife and new child any less meaningful. Honey, you are HUMAN! And personally, I think it is absolutely adorable and very honorable for you to be as concerned as you are!
Change is a very scary thing and sometimes it proves to be a lot of hard work....but a new baby! That is wonderful and you should be very happy and excited! You are about to enter the most amazing and exciting time of your life. You will, in a very short time, have this little life that is TOTALLY dependent on you and it is a great feeling! Your child will make you feel so ALIVE and trust me on this one....you wil fall in love with your wife all over again! To see her amazing belly grow with life! To know that you are part of this miracle! And please, if you are squeamish get over it, because you do not want to miss the actual day of birth!
Personally, I think that you will be just fine! You are very thoughtful and concerned about your wife and unborn child and that is a definate positive characteristic in a man that is about to become a first time father! Your wife and new child are very lucky to have a real man in their lives!
I wish you and your family all of the best and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me personally! Good luck and remember this one thing....you should be concerned only if you didn't have any feelings about what is going on in your life! You are an honorable man and I feel a wonderful role model for the new life that you created! God bless you and your family!
2006-07-16 03:32:45 · answer #1 · answered by MaHaa 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Becoming a parent for the first time is a huge step in your life,you now have a family to support and maybe deep down that scares you a little.
You are obviously not afraid of commitment,if you were you would not be married but you may have a fear of whats to come when your baby arrives.
It unnerves alot of people.
Thinking of another woman maybe worrying to you,if you feel yourself becoming attracted to her then you must stay away,dont wreck your new family for the sake of 5 seconds of pleasure,especially when you can have a life time of pleasure with your wife and baby.
Calmy sit down and ask yourself why your having these thoughts.
Are you scared you wont be a good enough dad?
Are you worried your baby will take over your life?
there are a number of reasons why you are feeling the way you are.
Your wife needs your support now more than ever,dont ruin it,its not worth it.
When your baby arrives and you see yourself in your baby,it will all be worth it.
You have created another life and this requires your 100% attention and support.
Good luck to you but some how i dont think you need my luck wish,i think you will figure this out by yourself and you WILL be a great dad to you little man/lady.
christy
2006-07-16 02:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by freerange00720002000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it normal for you because my wife is my first everything too and when found out that she was pregnant. later I had a dream about co worker ..... and I though that my wife is pregnant that you can't have sex anymore. but found out youcan still have sex with her. and I was shocked nervous and then later Never think about co worker anymore. You have to think that you are happy with your wife and having first child and it normal to thnk about this. I am a male and I know... I thank god nothing happen.. why because we have 2 kids and planning to have other baby and been married 9 years and very happy.
If you want to have sex with co worker.... that will not bee good idea becasue you will lose your wife and you will love to see your child and you will feel bad and wished that you didn't do that......if you want to be like me now this is the best thing you can do....
2006-07-16 01:52:32 · answer #3 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is entirely normal to dream about other women. Those dreams aren't feelings, in the sense of having desires for her and so are innocent by definition. Dreams also are not "thinking" about another woman. For most people, dreaming about having sex with another isn't cheating. Your wife's definition of cheating is something you might explore with her so that you don't "cheat" your wife by having an entirely innocent association with the female at work or having a fantasy, or a thought she thinks you shouldn't have. Some women would feel that could cheat by fantasizing about another, some feel masturbatioon by yourself is cheating, etc. etc. There are endless definitions of what constitutes cheating. Check it out with your wife, please, and you won't get "caught" doing something that offends her. It might have been a good idea to have done this before pregnancy came along as she be looking at things differently at different times. Good luck.
2006-07-16 02:02:26 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to guess your are anxious about the arrival of your first baby. I have heard of people doing the very thing you have described and hear it is normal...If you feel that you may lose control and cheat, you need to break off all contact with this other woman so you can get your head on straight. I wouldn't tell your wife what you are feeling because she may read more into it and with her hormones being a mess right now, she doesn't need it.
2006-07-16 02:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by ladysteelersince1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a baby makes your family complete... maybe you just see somethings in your co-worker that you dont see with your wife there is nothing wrong to admire the beauty and personality of an opposite sex but as a married man you must also have your own limitation... just try to focus your mind and set your objectives to this wonderful gift of having the fruit your relationship... this way you'll divert your attention back to your wife..
2006-07-16 01:34:25 · answer #6 · answered by rudolph d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MANY man like more than one woman in life ,so does woman.So you have the right to like another woman but you should ask God if he wants you make that with more than one.Marriage is the very first in life not sex with another.
I know that you are hard to stop it but try...try...try..
2006-07-16 01:47:04 · answer #7 · answered by adam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it is not right and if u havt cheated yet please dont,your wife who is going to b the mother of your child,will b with u 4ever,this friend if she was a real friend,she wouldnt if think about going to bed with u,n if she does shes probably gone to bed with some of her other friends,u ever think about aids??u can even give it to ure unborn child,soooo why take a chance on a hussy,wen you got the best women at home.lovin only uuuuuuuuuu!!!!
2006-07-16 01:29:59 · answer #8 · answered by kathy r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Could you be reacting to the pregnancy, and the committment it entails ? Have you considered a therapist to talk it out, so you know why you are thinking this way ?
2006-07-16 01:27:18 · answer #9 · answered by GratefulDad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with feeling bad, and don't really do it, and you should be OK...and don't tell your wife, or with all those pregnant hormones, she just might "chop it off!"
2006-07-16 01:27:26 · answer #10 · answered by momx4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋