My boyfriends 25 yr old daughter is filthy ald lazy. Tell me how to handle her?

Question

He nearly died last fall because he took an accidental overdose of insulin by inadvertently taking 55 units of fast acting insulin (humalog) instead of 55 units of lantus and she didn't notice he was sweating and gray colored. Her and her husband both live with him and he was laying on the couch dazed and sweating and was way out of it and too confused to do an accucheck. Her husband was drunk and she was too into her self to notice her dad was getting ready to slip into a diabetic coma. This dumb ***** locks the door, so I cant walk into the house. She is so freaking ignorant he could have died and she would have never known the difference. Should I tell her she is a dumb ignorant skank or save it?
My boyfriend is no clean freak, but now he has his own mess plus her mess baby's crappy diapers down the side of the couch, under the kitchen table, behind the dryer, and in the laundry area. She doesn't do dishes. There have been dishes piled up, dirty clothes, sour bottles.

her 5 year old wrote all over the side of the house with a crayon and she just laughed. If that had been my 5 yr old, he would have been out there washing it off with a pail of soapy water. She is so increadibly lazy, it baffles me how her dad cannot make her get off her lazy rear end and say hey, your living here, clean up after yourself and your kids.

My boyfriend works so much, he is barely home. He railroads and she takes full advantage of his time away. She shops at Walmart and buys 3 - 4 $20 toys at a time for her kids. She doesn't help her dad pay the bills because he says he is helping her get ahead.

My boyfriend works so much, he is barely home. He railroads and she takes full advantage of his time away. She shops at Walmart and buys 3 - 4 $20 toys at a time for her kids. She doesn't help her dad pay the bills because he says he is helping her get ahead.

My boyfriend works so much, he is barely home. He railroads and she takes full advantage of his time away. She shops at Walmart and buys 3 - 4 $20 toys at a time for her kids. She doesn't help her dad pay the bills because he says he is helping her get ahead.

Answer 1

Hate to tell you this but YOU can't handle her. You aren't the parent. That's the plain, unvarnished truth. If you try to bridle her, turmoil, fights and frustration will be the chief result. He is the parent and he has apparently abdictated as a disciplinarian as she's a little old to be trained now. You've got a tough row to hoe to maintain the relationship the way it looks from here. It is very difficlt (read "impossible") for one person to clean up another person's family. Do you NEED the aggravation and frustration? If so, keep doing what you've been doing. If not, you know what the answer is, sorry to say.

Answer 2

If thats how she wants to live then hay let her live that way. As for her father, why are you two not living together? Maybe that is the solution. If you love her father and he loves you then make the next step to live togther. Get him out of her house. Another question, is it her house or his house? If it is her house than he has no right to tell her what she has to do with her own house. But if it is his house then maybe talking to her and letting her know that she is grown now and married and moving out would be the wise thing to do. If her father if sick, being around all that filth will only make him worse. Try talking to her. Good Luck!

Answer 3

The quickest solution would be to get him to move in with you. ( Only if he pay rents and don't own the house) I would talk with him alone and not in front of them to convince him to move for his health sake. Again explain to him what happen and your concern for hiim.

If he owns the house talk with him about what is going on. Tell him what she does, but you said he is no clean freak. So it seems there may be little you can do here. Because he is use to living that way anyway.

But let me tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes. I would talk with him in private and tell him the postion that I am in and my concern for him. I would let him know of the diseases that are infesting and are being created in his house because of the filthiness. I would let him know how she does not look after her children they are tearing up his house, she is out of control. And feels that she do not have to lift a finger. Leaving nasty diapers around in many hidden places in the house. I would tell him it is NASTY. I would tell him that I REFUSE to clean up behind a bunch of grown ups who know better. I would also tell him that he almost died because of her. She was right there in the house. Does that sound like she is a responsible person to have around you in case of emergencies. And her boyfriend is a drunk. Then i would drop the bomb and say I cannot deal with the problems here, this place is unsafe for me to be around. And that he will not be seeing me until he can tell me that it is clean and or that she and her nasty self is out of the house. You really need to put your foot down. Because really that place is unsafe.

Answer 4

If these are the sort of people you socialize with, then I think maybe you don't so much have your act together either. Maybe you should go on a talk show and see if you can fix the problem there.

Answer 5

i dont think she will change,u need to get dad outta there,let the users stay there,and see how they like paying bills,its not dads fault at this point,she sounds like a real user,i would call the welfatre department on her,they will make her change.good luck.