Why do I feel the need to keep people at a distance?

Answer 1

Maybe you're an introvert. Introverted people tend to be drained by other people, don't like parties, crowds, or meeting strangers, and can be difficult to know. We keep people at a distance because some of them are like fingernails on a chalkboard. There's a difference between keeping people at a distance and actively hating them. Hatred implies that there might be a mental illness that should be treated.

An introvert says:
"I like people, just in small quantities and infrequent intervals. Too many people leave me drained and exhausted."
An extravert says:
"I like people all the time, and feel drained and lonely when they are not around. Having people around energizes me."

The extravert reaches for the phone to talk to friends if they get bored. The introvert thinks "Go away!" when the phone rings. Introverts don't mind not answering the phone. Not answering the phone drives an extravert nuts.

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, but since the majority of the world tends to be extraverted, introverts tend to be seen as 'oddballs' or 'antisocial' when we really aren't. We just don't like all the noise and energy of people. Do people sometimes ask you why you are so quiet, or if there's something wrong with you when you're actually feeling OK? That's an extravert who doesn't understand the introvert- extraverts think that everyone should be loud and social like they are.

The internet is great for introverted people, because we can socialize without actually having to be around annoying people. Even so, I still do stuff like Yahoo Answers in small doses because even online people can be draining and annoying.

Answer 2

Because deep down you want then to come close to you.
You feel the need to “act” like you don’t need people probably cos you feel they don’t take you seriously or they treat you “funny”. So I’m guessing your own way of believing you’re ok by yourself is to act like you don’t need them…
I don’t think this will help you in the least. Rather I feel it will make you appear unapproachable. So try reaching out to people who would make you feel good about yourself; and leave out the people you’re not comfortable with for now… as time goes by and you start to love yourself more (try taking courses on people management) I guess you soon wont see the need to keep people at a distance… you'll be able to mange all kinds of people.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Either because you have been hurt, known people who have gotten hurt, or you just aren't an affectionate person. Or maybe you feel inadequate and think that if people get too close to you they will sense your insecurities and that scares you. Wow! Was that some kind of insight or what! Lol!!! Good luck! I sure hope you can learn to open up! There are some great people out there and life is so much more fullfilling when you have people close to you to share it with! :)

Answer 4

It is most likely a defense mechanism due to a past traumatic experience, personal insecurity or being uncomfortable with the events unfolding before you. Either way, only you can answer that as it is you who is being affected by the stimulus. Good luck in unraveling this conundrum.

Answer 5

Are you probably insecure? Do you have not enough selfestime, so you are worried other people hurt you without you being able to defence yourself?

Answer 6

b/c you are trying to protect yourself, you're afraid of letting people in. maybe this is the result of something emotionally painful or traumatizing that happened to you in the past

Answer 7

The thunder of my silence drowns out the jarring, discordant sound of your nonsense.

Answer 8

possibly b/c you've been hurt before and don't want to be again. Or maybe you have an intimacy problem

Answer 9

So that u dont create problems to others nor can others create problems for u.

Answer 10

becoz ur to silly,that mneas u never think of ur self,ifu think of others how can u be good,just u think of urself,and say how good ur ,ok if any wrong with me,i am sorry,