I am Palestinian girl. I engaged to an American 2 months ago while he was spending his vacation here in Palestine. We signed the merrage contract before he left, and we planned to do the wedding in the next February. I ask you to read the following paciently and then give what you advise me to do please.
Before few days he sent me the following email:
"I don't know what to do either. I am being
completely honest when I say I really have been busy.
I get home I'm always tired. I fall asleep at home, I
fall asleep at work and I know it's driving you crazy
as well. I am so stressed out and some of the doctors
are so mean and they add stress to our lives. I
couldn't even stay awake to watch the world cup game
and the only reason I know who won was because my
friend told me. I'm sorry that I got you into this
mess. I am miserable right now. I am so overworked
and I guess in reality I wasn't ready to make these
big life changing steps that I thought I was ready to
take. We can't go on like this...there is no time to
get to know one another but at the same time I don't
blame either you or I. Because I think you did not
know I would be this busy and then you get angry at me
for falling asleep or not calling. I sleep in the
hospital 3-4 times every week. And I feel that even
if I were married this life would be too difficult for
another person to deal with. A wife should be able to
see her husband to get to know him and with this life
there is no time for either person. I know I told you
I would be busy but I didn't know it would be like
this. And I apologize but I think there is too much
heartache and I am in the most difficult and stressful
part of my life right now. I think you feel the same
way when I say we should really reconsider and think
about what we are doing here and if we can carry on
this way. Let me know what you think but I feel very
bad and I have been extremely depressed on top of all
the work that I am doing. I will talk to you soon and
I am sorry that the cards my father brought for me
didn't work. But he said he was sorry about this.
Take care and I hope this reaches you in good health
2006-07-15 20:03:07 · 11 answers · asked by Olivia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is telling you a white lie...trying to spare our feelings..it never really works. He has written a "Dear John Letter" to tell you goodbye. Better to learn it now than wait any longer. Go about your business and find a more suitable partner. It is over between your American and your. So sorry to tell you this, but these are the sad facts. Men, in general, are really terrified of bluntness and saying exactly what they mean. He means, Good bye, I thought it was real, but it wasn't. Good luck to you in the future." I wish you the best, dear. You will find happiness soon. But do not linger on the past...it is gone.
2006-07-15 20:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How I see it, you have at least 2 possible choices. Choice #1: If you feel that you would not be able to deal with his hectic schedule, and you feel that you do not love him enough to be patient and accept that life style, then this probably is the end of your story. Choice #2: If you feel that you love him enough to live that kind of life style, with him busy at work, and not being able to give you enough attention, then stay by him. Let him know that you are there for him, trust him, comfort him, and let him know that you are ok with him doing what he is obligated to do.
If I'm reading what he wrote properly, it sounds like he still wants to be with you, but he does not want to put you in the position where you would have to suffer with his hectic life style and/or live a married life where your husband could barely see you. It's a hard choice to make, but if you both have the determination to make it work, it doesn't have to be the end for you. Given, this will take a lot of patience, trust, compassion, and sacrifice on your part, so you just have to ask yourself: How much do you love this man? How much are you willing to give up for him?
2006-07-16 03:14:45 · answer #2 · answered by LTD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Im sorry that this has happened to you. I firmly believe that if its meant to be it will be.. If you love him and he loves you then it should work out.. It seems as if your fiancee is a doctor or something and if he is, then trust me when i say that they do work long hours.. Let him have some space to figure out what he wants. Let him know that no matter what the situation if you both love eachother then you can get through anything together.. Marriage is rough believe me, i see my husband maybe 3 hours a day. As for a wife who shouldnt have to deal with it, that is something you as a woman can know if you can deal with it.. He can not tell you how you feel.. Hope this helps..
2006-07-16 03:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by nichols5072@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of work do he do that keep him busy? his he becoming a doctor, if so that is something that will have him sleeping alot. But, as I read on it sound like he trying to blow you off in a very nice way( I can be wrong!!). Maybe you two should have along sensible conversation about the future with out getting up set.
2006-07-16 03:21:48 · answer #4 · answered by JO`NAE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The end of the story is that although you two had a wonderful time together, you are a world apart and really don't know each other. He is totally overwhelmed with work. And now that he is back home he realizes that he isn't ready to be married.
The end of the story is that love doesn't always conquer all.
2006-07-16 03:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it just sounds like hes stuck in a rut right now. all i can say is that if you really love him to stay strong and support him, and if he is wise enough to appreciate that then you two should be okay after he sorts his life out.
or you can move on with your life until he sorts his own life out.
keep in mind that time cures all wounds. though some things you may regret at first, it teaches you a valuable lesson and makes you stronger in the end. i wish you the best of luck
2006-07-16 03:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by NAQ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was lonely and probably home sick when he met you and ask you to marry him. He is now back home and realizes what he did with you was not entirely right for him. He now looks at other girls in his home town and realizes that you may not be the right girl for him after all. You should try to forget about him and get someone else.
2006-07-16 03:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by mklwis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u just send him this
"i undersand ur email but i dun understand ur way of hurting me i wont push my self into ur heart love can never be forced but the way we act is the way ppl would judge us i feel u r just a kid who had a chance to experince somthing and now he dun want too i said i understand what u said but it doesnt mean i belived it i do understand that u want a way out and i'm giving it to u u can sign the papers tomorrow
from someone u knew"
sorry hun i'm palestinian too i feel bad for what happened to u hope u will be ok
2006-07-16 03:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is over. it sounds like he isnt ready to get married, he has to much going on in his life, and wants to make his life easy. how long did you know eachother. long distant relationships dont last. find you a man who lives in the same town as you and who will want to make time for you. good luck
2006-07-16 03:17:19 · answer #9 · answered by Courtney A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 possibilities...
He's telling the truth about being hectic and is worried that he can't give you the time you deserve.
OR
He's breaking it to you gently, trying to spare your feelings.
Your best bet is to talk to him. Will you be ok with his hectic schedule? A
2006-07-16 04:35:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋