I am Palestinian girl. I engaged to an American 2 months ago while he was spending his vacation here in Palestine. We signed the merrage contract before he left, and we planned to do the wedding in the next February. I ask you to read the following paciently and then give what you advise me to do please.
Before few days he sent me the following email:
"I don't know what to do either. I am being
completely honest when I say I really have been busy.
I get home I'm always tired. I fall asleep at home, I
fall asleep at work and I know it's driving you crazy
as well. I am so stressed out and some of the doctors
are so mean and they add stress to our lives. I
couldn't even stay awake to watch the world cup game
and the only reason I know who won was because my
friend told me. I'm sorry that I got you into this
mess. I am miserable right now. I am so overworked
and I guess in reality I wasn't ready to make these
big life changing steps that I thought I was ready to
take. We can't go on like this...there is no time to
get to know one another but at the same time I don't
blame either you or I. Because I think you did not
know I would be this busy and then you get angry at me
for falling asleep or not calling. I sleep in the
hospital 3-4 times every week. And I feel that even
if I were married this life would be too difficult for
another person to deal with. A wife should be able to
see her husband to get to know him and with this life
there is no time for either person. I know I told you
I would be busy but I didn't know it would be like
this. And I apologize but I think there is too much
heartache and I am in the most difficult and stressful
part of my life right now. I think you feel the same
way when I say we should really reconsider and think
about what we are doing here and if we can carry on
this way. Let me know what you think but I feel very
bad and I have been extremely depressed on top of all
the work that I am doing. I will talk to you soon and
I am sorry that the cards my father brought for me
didn't work. But he said he was sorry about this.
Take care and I hope this reaches you in good health.
2006-07-15 19:54:36 · 7 answers · asked by Olivia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I think that he's telling you in a very round-about fashion that he doesn't think that your marriage is working at this rate. He keeps on apologising because he feels bad and I think he's just trying to say that he doesn't want to be married anymore, that he's having doubts. But before you get any ideas, the best thing would be to call him and ask him what he's thinking, ask him yourself before making any assumptions. Don't do anything until you know what he's feeling, and then together, you can come to a conclusion or draw some closure, come out with a plan or something. Just talk to him. Good luck.
2006-07-15 20:06:26 · answer #1 · answered by @~>--T--<~@ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I strongly believe that being busy is not a genuine reason to postpone marriage or not getting married to a person whom one likes. A guy who openly says that there is no time to get to know each other definitely won't be interested in spending time with his wife and family when he get married. He is admitting that he wasnt ready to take this big life changing decision which he thought he was ready to take then, and now he has reconsidered the decision and it seems he had already decided no for marriage, now or anytime with you. And I think he is trying to back off giving lame reasons like overworked, stressed, lack of time etc. And married life with such an irresponsible man who has taken a sort of "bail" will be hell for you. I think he is a irresponisble and selfish man who thinks only about his emotions and priorities. I suggest you seriously reconsider whether to continue anyform of relationship with such a person and never attempt to drag him to a married life which may be disaustrous for you. But before taking any decison, talk to him once more to find out what the actual reason is and if he is really a workaholic and stressed out person, suggest him to get a counselling, but STAY AWAY from him for your own good. These are sort of people who can become "emotional parasites". I know that this realisation may be very hard for you to accept, but still you have to. best regards for a bright future from a friend.
2006-07-16 03:35:07 · answer #2 · answered by riya v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like an arranged marriage?
It's hard for me to give good advice on this because I don't know either of you. His email to you sounds like he is very stressed and you getting angry at him has added to this, but in no way is this your fault. I think he is looking for an easier way. Less Stress.
But, if you really do love this man and want to marry him, I would let him know that you understand that this time in his career is busy and challenging, and if you really want to still get married are you prepared to either spend alot of time alone when you get to america and marry him, or wait longer until you marry when he is a bit less busy. It is up to you if you are willing to comprimise alot. Also, you will have to expect less calls, less letters etc. If he is a doctor, then he is always going to be busy to some degree.
follow your heart.
2006-07-16 03:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something going on with his life that is taking up a lot of time. I doubt his illness story, especially in combination with working a lot as well.
I suspect he is not telling you the truth about his life. He might even be married already.
In any case, you are not being treated with the love, care and respect that you deserve.
I think you should forget about him.
2006-07-16 03:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Daniel T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you have not known each other for a suitable period of time and he is having second thoughts
2006-07-16 03:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by messy_missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your crazy forget it or your free you have alot of time
2006-07-16 03:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by ad786_alcatel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your relation just like chating
2006-07-16 03:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by sathyanarayana s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋