Why does he goe out every Saturday.?

Question

My husband goes out every Saturday. He says he will stop when I stop having a problem with it. We have a 10 month old baby. He has been out the past eight weekends. We fight about it. I hate it. I have tried to talk to him about it and ask him why he has to do it. He says he likes it. I don't know what to do. Why does he have to go out all the time? He doesn't do anything at home. He used to help clean and cook. Now I do all of it. He doesn't even help out with the baby anymore. He won't change her diaper if it's dirty, he leaves it for me. He told someone that I don't want him to have a good time, but I just want him to stop going out all the time. I don't care if he goes out occasionally, but this is ridiculous. When he goes out he sleeps all day long the next day and doesn't want to help out. I am not sure I can just let him be to see if what he says is true. Honestly, I didn't think marriage was supposed to be like this.

He finally came to his own decision this Saturday and says he will stop going out every Saturday night. He says he will stop altogether for a while. We are going out together for the last time this Saturday. Then we are going to do things at home together from now on or invite friends over. Lastly, after this decision he did help clean the bathroom (tub and toilet bowl) and gave our daughter a bath. I hope he follows through with it, or I will follow one of your suggestions. Thank you everyone.

Answer 1

Why don't you get a sitter for next Saturday and go out WITH him. Does he insist that he has to go out alone, or does he insist that he simply enjoys going out? Because if you are uninvited, this sounds like a problem. Especially since he no longer feels obligated to fulfill his duties at home.
Good luck to you.

Answer 2

He does it because you are always there when he gets home. As long as you are going to take it he is going to keep doing it. Often times having a baby seriously screws things up, its sad but true. There are several things you can do, but whatever you do you have to quit taking it, if you don't it willnever change. This is a power play and he's being a jerk. So you can get a sitter and go out yourself (even if you sit at a friends house or your moms as long as he thinks you are doing the same thing he is), you can not be there when he gets home, meaning take the baby and go somewhere for the weekend, and that will give him a good scare. A lot of that depends on your situation, if you have family you can visit or something then i'd tell him if you go out next weekend we won't be here when you get back, then don't be. It isn't supposed to be like this, he's being a moron not a husband and a father. My first marriage was wonderful, best friends the whole nine yards, until we had a daughter, then it all went to hec, he became someone i didn't even recognize. And the weirdest part is he adored his daughter, still does, always did but for some reason after we had her everything got screwed up.

Answer 3

Your right its not supposed to be like that. This is what I would do. I would get a babysitter on Saturday night and go out with my friends. As for him not helping out around the house, don't wash his clothes or cook for him. I'm going through the same thing. I did stop washing his clothes and cooking then he finally starting helping me out with the baby. They think were are suppose to be super moms. NEWS FLASH we cant do everything! How old is he? Mine is 25 and all together we have 4 kids. He is getting better. But he still needs some work. But I do know where the door is so I can kick him out it. I would sit and have a serious talk with him GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

Something change in him. He could have someone else on the side. Going out to meet her, when you are stuck at home. Then again, he could be going out to get away from home. Maybe marriage is not what he thought it was going to be.
He could be stress out, or want to do things like it was when he was single. Sounds too, that he can't handle the marriage life, or the pressure that came with it.
But he is married, and he needs to be there to help out. Don't take all the load on your self. Two tango to have the kid. Two must work to raise it. It's alright every once in a while for a break. But every weekend is too much, or something else is going on there.
Have you thought about going out with him. Have someone to babysit for you. Let him know, you wanna have a saturday night out on the town too. But let it be with him. See how he acts, when you mention something about it.

Answer 5

He hasn't grown up yet.
He must NOT of had a good role model as a child.
There is NO excuse for a man to contiue to live like a child after getting married and having a child.
He is probably overwhelmed by the responsibablity.

I fear you are taking care of two children, him and the 10 month old.

You are NO longer a couple.
Get counseling.
He has checked out on being an adult. If he continues to do so, you need to check out of the marriage.

Answer 6

Men are like that.. They are idiots especially when it comes to kids and helping around the house.. If its that much of a problem for you and you only want him going out occassionally. Do as he is doing.. Go out on a friday night and leave him with your daughter.. He will then see that it is NOT all fun and games to take care of kids.. I did this with my husband and he now knows its no fun.. I have a 4 yr old and a 1 year old.. SO i know what you are going through.. Try it out.. Go out with friends and sleep..

Answer 7

oh honey. its not supposed to be this way. this man is either cheating on you or is trying to run away from his life and is have anxiety attacks about not being able to go out anymore. first, if you trust him then i would suggest doing the reward system with him. yes its dirty and sometimes mean but you need to give him incentive to stay at home. reward him with sexual favors, even if you don't want to= give him his favorite only after he does something you want/need him to do. but don't keep it from him. basically give him More then he is used to.
if you don't trust him then i would ask a friend to follow him and keep an eye on him to see if he is cheating on you. check his phone and call any numbers you don't recognize. is he buying new clothes when he doesn't need them? especially underwear. that's a first sign of cheating because they need new "wrapping" for his "package".
if you happen to head for a divorce you need to start documenting everything! write it down with dates and times. get a voice recorder and record every phone call and then write them down so you dont forget (plus you can use that against him in court, he cant deny his own voice!) and get a camera that records the date on the picture and document everything.

i wish you luck.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

i have been married for 8 years and have 2 kids i go out alot i dont do anything wrong i just drink i think tne reason is because my friends put alot of pressure on me to hang out the dont want to come over around the wife and kids to drink and smoke but they still want to hang out and so do i you should know that women have the power and chances are if you planned a romantic evening and lured him to stay home he probly would but remember he doesnt want to stay home and argue or go to sleep early try renting some porn on saterday afternoon and tell him youll watch it after the baby goes to bed use what you have to get what you want

Answer 10

you need to find a baby sister and next sat when he get ready to go out surprise him and say honey i will be joining you if he gets angry all i can tell you hubby is cheating the first sign is when he stop helping around the house then he decide he needs to step out every sat night and he hasnt been doing it he is up to something but do as i ask tell him you will be joining him next sat night