he claims part of it is because he is always the one to instigate the sex how do i make him understand that im not confortable with starting it im afarid he is going to reject my advances. in 2 years he has only 2 but that really bugged me. PLEASE HELP
2006-07-15 18:01:41 · 6 answers · asked by tammy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry about the spelling
2006-07-15 18:07:27 · update #1
All of us, especially men, want to feel successful. Right now, he doesn't feel like a successful lover. If he were a successful lover, you would desire him. And, while you may desire him, you don't say so, so he doesn't know it.
Tell him that you desire him, that he does please you, and that you do desire him. Then, tell him that you feel insecure because he has rejected you in the past and even though it was only twice, it hurt a lot. And, that's why you don't initiate sex because you fear rejection.
I really think that you won't have to say much else. He does desire you or he wouldn't be upset about this. Once you've made your feelings known, I think he'll let you know how he really feels.
2006-07-15 18:13:54 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My ex used to complain about the same thing. I tried to instigate sex but was rejected more often than not. So, I understand what you are saying. I hurts when the man you love turns you down. However, on the same token how many times have you turned down his advances? Let's be realistic sometimes sex just doesn't seem to be what we want. I suggest spicin things up...Naughty games, sexy lingere. If he turns you down again, talk to him about it, find out why and how you can tell if he is the mood w/o him sayin so...Good luck!
2006-07-16 01:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by la_diablita_1999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a problem and I am sure this is very difficult for you. I am not sure the root of your fear that he will reject your advances. What are you telling yourself if he says no. All of us don't want to sometimes, even guys :) I think he may be feeling rejected right now. Do you not want to have sex with him. If not there may be intimacy barriers like a lack of trust, or fear of being used or unresolved anger. It might be good to go for counseling.
2006-07-16 01:12:56 · answer #3 · answered by doryanne949 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
XXXXXXXXXXX you can do it, go into the bedroom while he's watching television, turn it off, turn on music, lower the lights to set the pace, climb on the bed next to him and start kissing him. That is all it takes. he'll take over from there or you just continue, give him a bed lap dance, it may seem peculiar at first but it will get easier. Good luck hun. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-16 01:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO. ONCE a week get dressed up sexy. Put some sexy music on. Do a little dance. SHOW some LEGG. THEN some...... then some ...... before you know it he will be all over you. My sister says her hubby loves the french maid out fit. SHE pretends to be cleaning the bed room. You fill in the rest. HE LOVES it.
2006-07-16 01:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the crowd
2006-07-16 01:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by CraZyCaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋