Basically, we've been together 4 years, married 2. Had a great sex life, got pregnant, sex life died! He said he was freaked out having sex with a pregnant woman and after the birth, which he was present for, he had NO interest in having sex with me. Our son's birth was the most amazing experience of my life, but it really just turned him off to me. As a result, he spent alot of time looking at porn and ignoring me and you can imagine how the rest of this story went. Now that my son is older (18 mos.), our sex life is starting to return to normal. I just am trying to understand this reaction and wondering if this happened to anyone else.
2006-07-15 18:01:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lots of men have trouble accepting that the mother of his child can still be his sexy wife. it's the whole "mother" thing, they think it is wrong and can be temporarily turned off by it. it happens to lots of husbands/boyfriends, I know it must hurt but it's a problem he is having with himself. It really has nothing to do with you.
2006-07-15 18:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by advicemom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard tell there is a certain biological reaction that happens between some people. Some men react to a hormone, or pheremone, or something of the like, that is given off by pregnant woman, allegedly to help them "protect" the fetus. Perhaps it only happens with at risk pregnancies, I don't know. In any case, it keeps the male from interest. Happened to a friend of mine as well. They reconnected after about the same period of time as you have.
2006-07-15 18:07:12 · answer #2 · answered by lookin 4 love in the wrong place 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is common.. having a baby isnt the most attractive thing to watch .. alot of men that are in the deliverary room cant handle what they are seeing.. and this turns them off from sex for awhile.. also for some men its weird because their beautiful wife has turned into a beautiful mother.. and mothers are to be respected, so for some its hard for men to view their spouse as a sex object now that they are a mother..
Glad to know your sex life is returning though.. :) thats a good thing.. good luck..
2006-07-15 18:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
opposite to various the ridiculous articles in women's magazines, or episodes of "intercourse and the city," men are no longer became onto intercourse 24/7. the will ebbs and flows, even for youthful men...that's a organic cycle. besides to that, the trauma which you as a pair have experienced can be a brilliant element. Then there is stress, loss of sleep, hardship; various those issues influence the libido. Plus, loss of intercourse finally ends up in annoying concerning to the indifference to intercourse, and the hardship approximately being waiting to accomplish intercourse, and that feeds on itself, which finally ends up in further loss of activity in intercourse. and then if the numerous different seems to be exerting overt or perhaps diffused stress approximately intercourse (if the numerous different is "extremely upset," as you place it)...nicely, stress kills the libido too. I propose giving it some greater months. intercourse is rather no longer the only factor on your courting, is it? Spend this time exploring and gaining understanding of to appreciate different components of your courting. it is okay in a marriage to often times be acquaintances and not enthusiasts. this might enable the choose to rebuild clearly and with out stress. yet while it does circulate on plenty longer than that, he could evaluate seeing a doctor for a checkup...a guy's physique in this regard can require even finer tuning that a woman's, and a hormone or mineral off right here or there could have this result. He could be honest with the wellbeing care professional (which would be complicated) and the right tests would be run. If no longer something comes of that, the physician can then propose different classes to locate; counseling as an occasion, as you have indicated. i'm sorry approximately your loss final March, and solid success sooner or later.
2016-10-07 23:30:59 · answer #4 · answered by kinjorski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that. :o( His "disgust" should have been gone after 18 months. It seems like he is using that reason as an excuse for something else. Just trust your intuition, and know that you are still the same sexy woman as you were before you became a mom. I had the same type of situation with my fiance after I had an abortion. Took a good 3-4 months before he even wanted to touch me. Their loss, I say. :o)
2006-07-15 18:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by alexa2829 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! The same think happened to my counselor, Jane, and she says that it's a combination of the idea of a baby emerging from there, and the fact that you didn't look the same. She says that once the inital shock is dealt with, then he sees you as the same woman; not the port of entrance into this world.
2006-07-15 18:07:47 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Kitae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from a husband's point of view. it is hard to think about your wife being like the sexiest woman alive when that first child comes along. she is no long the woman you loved having sex with and doing all the sexxy things you did before because now she is a mom. as time goes along, though, the sex returns as he realizes that she is hotter now than ever as she is the mother of his child and his lover.
2006-07-15 18:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, my husband has'nt flat out told me that he doe'nt want to have sex with me since the baby(7 months old) but it seems he's lost interest. I've caught him looking at porn and we've gone round and round with that, it makes me feel uncomfortable. Now what has happened since the baby is that my husband has told me he's not ready for a family, he does'nt want to be with me anymore for every little thing"Thats why i don't want to be with you.................!!" for everything. He doesnt play with the baby, he gripes everytime she crys, and puts her to sleep everytime i go to the store or something. He does'nt do anything around the house at all, all because he was'nt ready for a family. So my husband has changed alot since our baby, he just needs to grow up!!
2006-07-15 18:11:29 · answer #8 · answered by Kristi A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think I would have to see a naked picture of you to answer you acturately. As crappy as this sounds though.......Some guys become sexually unattracted to their wives as they start showing signs of pregnancy and then after the baby is born it looks kinda nasty down there for a few weeks but you can't touch it anyway for like 6 weeks which is more than fine since it makes you wanna puke. Then after all that you have that "pudding belly" which is disgusting.
2006-07-18 16:59:22 · answer #9 · answered by kip_digler 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
after a baby they just wonna stay free 4 a while
2006-07-15 18:07:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋