He works a full time and part time job to take care of household responsibilities and put me through college. However,I've noticed that he uses his ex girlfriend's name/birthdate for his email password/cell phone password. He dated her in 2000 and says she's a friend. He also occasionally speaks with her when I'm not around. We live in New York and she lives in Georgia. What should I think about this? I would love oppinions from guys but will accept all. Thanx.
2006-07-15 17:54:55 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I suspect its far more important what YOU think of all this.....
On the face of it, working 1 1/2 jobs to support you who apparently contribute no income to the relationship, I think you really ought to think this over carefully. Jealousy is only a sign of immaturity. 6 years later, and 1000 or so miles apart she ain't fanning his flame much. If this guy also happens to be black I think you're thinking just might cost you the best thing ever to come down the pike in your lifetime.
2006-07-15 17:57:12 · answer #1 · answered by Capt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm from England so not sure what the distance is between New York and Georgia but I'm guessing it's far. So why worry?
As far as the birthdate and name thing go most people only use the one set of passwords and stick with them because it's less to remember. I wouldn't worry on that count. You don't have to worry. Just tell him you're cool with him talking to her so he's not to do it in secret. If you started to tell him who he could and could not be friends with you'd be putting undue strain on your relationship.
Your boyfriend loves you. If he didn't he wouldn't be working all hours to support you. You don't have to worry. It doesn't sound like he'd even have TIME for an affair. Just make the time when he's not having to work, special. It's not a far cry to believe that he's starting to get fed up with all the work. Just show him how much you appreciate it. Do fun things together whenever you have time together - it will keep his mind on the here and now.
2006-07-15 18:03:33 · answer #2 · answered by Bapboy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about asking your boyfriend why he uses her name and birth date as his passwords? He may admit to still having feelings for her and you'd get your answer or he could shrug it off as nothing. Either way after bringing it up you should tell him it makes you uncomfortable that he uses her name and birth dates (especially since he's with you now and could use yours.) and also that he talks to her specifically when you are not around. Ask him to stop. A boyfriend worth keeping would understand your feelings and do what he can to ease your fears and make you feel more secure.
If he doesn't change his passwords then you need to decide how you feel about the rest of the relationship. If you have other reasons to question your relationship or if you have nagging little doubts about where you stand with him then it's time to move on to someone you you'll never worry about or doubt.
2006-07-15 18:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by jncsquared 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce will spoil each little thing for him. The spouse will take each little thing little ones ,funds etc. Courts continuously favour the girls. often times the spouse may even sue the girls he's residing with if she feels he's not paying sufficient baby help( no comic tale)And win! with out having a divorce he has a excellent to the little ones and would not might want to pay her a dime. that does no longer mean he would not love you. It merely means he knows he will lose each little thing( funds, visitation rights to little ones etc.) baby help can very very hefty frequently taking as a lot as 50% of the daddy's month-to-month earnings.i do no longer imagine he's protecting on to the relationship merely would not prefer to be victimised by the spouse as such countless adult males are. i'm particular he would particularly it wasn't that way.
2016-11-06 10:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take it too personally, after all, anyone really fishing for his info would use his current life as possibilities for hacking....also, if it is a really good password, and he hasn't had problems with it in the past, why change it? From what you have written, it seems like he is doing all he can to support you and your dreams...and she does live in Georgia......I would keep an ear and an eye out, but don't make a big deal about it.
2006-07-15 17:59:31 · answer #5 · answered by mjgnosis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he has had the same passwords since 2000, then maybe he's just too lazy to change them. If they are new, he may still be carrying a torch for her to some extent. My advice is to talk to him about your feelings, and be sure to not accuse him of anything you don't have proof of. Keep the conversation focused on your feelings and not his actions. Let him tell you what is up (if anything).
2006-07-15 17:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by lucid_anomaly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may be a perfectly innocent relationship he has with his ex now, HOWEVER, it is disrespectful to his current girlfriend to continue to use her name as password, etc. it is the principle here that matters. he should be more considerate of your feelings. if she is in the past and just a friend, it should not matter to him that much to change the password. as for the phone convos, i wouldn't worry too much as long as you don't sense there is any crossing of the line there - but you do have a right to know how often he talks and what he talks to her about. in my opinion it is almost impossible for ex's to be just friends without some sorts of feelings still lingering.
2006-07-15 17:59:31 · answer #7 · answered by aj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh...good question....asking politely to change his passwords to something other then her name or birth date....and see his reaction...if he willingly does it no problem.....but if he struggles with it then there is a problem...If the man is doing all this for you, you are one lucky girl....but don't hold your self to stay with him because of the financial situation...it could tern out bad...if he is still messing with this other girl.....I do hope your success in your relationship can last for ever and you future by continuing in college. One Luv!
by the way if he has a problem with changing the password tell him to holla at me...this Latin brotha will help out...trust me i had to change my email to some thing different for my girl....hey i got love for her.
2006-07-15 18:06:18 · answer #8 · answered by TUCK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the very least it's poor taste on his part. He would send you a much better 'message' of his love and commitment, if he'd delete these little subtle reminders of the ex-girlfriend, which in fact doesn't seem all that 'ex' to me. I think the way to reach a better conclusion is to pleasantly ask him about it, tell him of your discomfort about it, and (to me) if my significant other truly feels that I am number 1 and deserving of special status in his life, he will honor me with these changes...."regardless" of any argument that there's nothing to worry about, she's just my ex-girlfriend. By denying you that symbolic gesture would raise concerns.
2006-07-15 18:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's doing th right thing...and using a old girlfiends password (though weird)... He seems honest... Now, if he has business trips that go to georgia, then I would be concerned...
2006-07-15 17:58:33 · answer #10 · answered by Rob D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋