Im 34 married with 2 kids and it was an arranged marriage as im from a conservative culture?

Question

The biggest mental problem that i have now...is that i did not love the person whom im married to...but i have the affection for her
On the other hand im suffering from the thought of one sided love affairs all over my life....i have loved girls but i have got negative feedback from them...just rejection....as someone told be on YA once...that TO LOVE IS NOTHING,TO BE LOVED IS SOMETHING AND TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED IS EVERYTHING....but now i think everything is too late in my life...im really frustrated but still im a responsible husband and my wife will always tell u that...and my question is WHY? TO LOVE IS "NOTHING"?

Answer 1

why would you ever agree to such a drastic measure
and have kids yet
these families who arrange these things should be shot as it is an awful thing to do to your kids
blame the parents totally and ask them what they will do to help you out of this mess as they are the ones who got you into it

Answer 2

XXXXXXXXXXXX actually, to love is something, what kind of person would we be if we didn't love and how could anyone love us in return if we had no love in our hearts. I think, what they meant is you love someone and they don't love you in return, this LOVE IS NOTHING, your love means nothing to them. If someone loves you, then love means something to that person but nothing to you. And if you love them and they love you, then love IS everything.
It's hard to give you an answer about your arranged marriage because am American and I married the man I chose to marry and as well he married me because we loved eachother and decided that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with eachother. I can't imagine marrying someone my parents chose as they have such different tastes then I. Although you are in a conservative culture you have an American heart. One that wants the kind of love that is everyhthing. How can you have that kind of love when it was prearranged? Affection is so far from real love. I hope someday you will know how that feels. I mean the feeling of everything that true love brings. Good luck to you hun. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 3

Love, especially marital love, is not something that happens. It is something you build. You say you have affection for your wife. And, you have two children.

Wouldn't it be better if you worked on making your marriage better? Why don't you try to build a friendship with your wife. Be more romantic and expressive. Tell her you love her, what a good mother she is, how proud you are that she is your wife.

Do some nice things for her. Flowers. Draw her a bath with scented oil and some candles. Chat with her for a few minutes and then leave her to soak by herself. Once she starts to feel loved, she will be a better friend and lover to you.

Answer 4

I know that it is hard but if your wife and children mean that much then stay with her until the kids are grown and then part ways. Everyone needs love but you can't be married and find it elsewhere. That is very dangerous and you risk ruining your relationship with your children. It is never too late for love you have plenty of time. 34 is not old !!!

Answer 5

dude the only thing i can say . as dr luara said to someone once if you act like you love and worship your wife. you will wake up one day in love and worshipping her. arranged marriages are a hard thing. but they have worked for centruries and have only recently been done away with by society for the most part . if you cant do away with this feeling of feeling like you are obligated you will have missed alot of years on the inside looking out instead of looking at the view on the inside, your bride and children.... good luck

Answer 6

complicated to propose yet Am slightly in contact which you state which you have "distinctive approaches and character" and beneficial you're no longer complicated love with intimacy .? are you waiting to assist your self and your 2 women for even ,say you divorce and the court docket orders spousal and help for the two women no assure he will pay or perhaps on time and once you're no longer able to assist with out his cost then first you may desire to start getting your self financially self sufficient. Then communicate to your husband and communicate brazenly conc. your desires and the affair-possibly he feels the comparable via fact it became into additionally arranged marriage for him and he's prepared to artwork issues out amicably with divorce legal experts or be-careful call and you 2 can get marriage counseling. i does not rush into divorce and then marriage with affair guy-does he choose to marry you, is he financially waiting to assist, love isn't adequate if the adjustments esp in character are substantial, will he love and raise your 2 women as his very own. various subject concerns right here for no longer in straightforward terms you yet additionally your daughters. You do should be chuffed,to have an entire friendly courting-do no longer sacrifice your life for infants for they understand if issues no longer precise and now and back separation is greater effective. be beneficial the stairs forward are precise or you,Them and all in contact. choose you success.

Answer 7

The answer to your question lies within your heart.

Remember, Life is short and we need to be happy for the little bit of time we have on this earth.

If you are with this person due to religious beliefs the answer is still in your heart. Just do what you feel and think is right.

Answer 8

This is the reason why arranged Marriages Don't work!

You need someone to be on the same agreement with you!

Answer 9

To err is human. You on the other hand Sir are a drastic catastrophic MISTAKE!!!!!


Anoni

Answer 10

I dont know what the question is.....you lost me at hello...