My partner and I have been together for 10 years and for the last 5 months have been trying to start a family. Lately he's been withdrawn and when I asked what's wrong he's very hesitant to tell me what's on his mind. This isn't the first time he's been withdrawn, it's just his way - whenever he's down he goes quiet. I on the other hand start to freak out (inwardly) and wonder whether it's because he's not satisfied with our relationship. When I ask him, he says he's just down and then starts to put on a happy front to not make me worried but he continues to be emotianally withdrawn. It really kills me to understand what's going on, because I feel like I'm living with a stranger, and my self esteem takes a nose dive. I really love him and I trust his love for me, but I'm starting to question whether we're growing apart and too scared to acknowledge it. I don't know how to cope with this.
2006-07-15 17:03:18 · 7 answers · asked by kishapadi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, its ok.. my husband is the same way and it really freaks me out too.. but im starting to learn that its just his way and it doesnt mean the world is coming to an end.. hes a "man" and has that belief that he doesnt have to piss and moan about everything instead he just gets moody and in a bad mood when he's had a bad day or stressed.. ive learned just to ignore him when he's like that.. usually the next day he'll talk to me about whats going on or atleast let me in on enough that i can figure it out.. then things go back to normal till the next time he's in a mood.. so dont worry.. Some men think it makes them less of a man to talk about their emotions..
2006-07-15 17:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becoming withdrawn is a common thing in men when something is on their mind. If your man does this, it is because this is how he has coped with stress all his life. He knows no better way. This does not reflect poorly on you in any manner so try not to let it affect your self-esteem.
Tell your man that you are here to help him, any way you can, and that you want to know about things that are bothering him. If he's interested in fixing this problem, he will provide inklings of insight into what's going on with him.
You mentioned that lately you've been trying to start a family and that this seemed to coincide with his being withdrawn. Does he have some hesitations about becoming a father?
2006-07-15 18:38:42 · answer #2 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't really like discussing their relationship. He's probably just a bit scared about starting a family. Most men are. It's a big responsibility. Just give him his space and when you talk keep it light. Also, don't be over-consumed with the topic of babies. Try to get him to do fun stuff with you that you used to do when you were falling in love with each other. Go out with friends or have a romantic night out or in. Just remind him that you are the same fun person he fell in love with...but don't tell him; show him.
2006-07-22 13:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax...if he tells you he's just down then he probably is...you said you've known him for 10 yrs...and having kids is a big deal, he's probably got alot on his mind. He sounds like a good guy so he's probably getting his head in line with his heart about being a father. It's a mind trip to realize you are making a choice to be responsible for another life...Since you two have been talking about you are probably looking for signs and signals from him to make sure he's on the same page as you and might be a little sensitive about his mood. Try not to read so much into it - if men say they are fine they usually are..it's us who say we are fine but really aren't...LOL and good luck! - Becca
2006-07-15 17:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by Big Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has your husband been diagnosed with depression....Sounds like a case...get help fast, because I have been through this and sad to say she let the sun go down on our love and cheated on our marriage. She had Major Anxiety and Depression Disorder and it along with her fears about life took our marriage downhill fast.
I will be praying for you... God Bless
Bishop G
2006-07-15 17:13:14 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has things on their mind sometimes that they really don't feel like scaring... It doesn't mean that it is about you. Be there for him, but understanding to that and when he is ready to talk you will need to be ready to listen..... good luck.
2006-07-15 17:17:54 · answer #6 · answered by Couple of Cents 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may have major depressive disorder which is a psychiatric disorder. have him see him primary care provider who can help with a referral to a psychiatrist if need be. Good luck
2006-07-15 17:31:10 · answer #7 · answered by been there 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋