I am 19, and I have been with my boyfriend for two years now. He is a few years older. We have had a few 'breaks' that lasted about a month or so, but never dated other people. He has dated a few people before me and has had one somewhat serious relationship. He is the only person who I have been in a real relationship with. We have talked about getting married and having kids and we have gone on a few trips together. I love him and want to be with him, but I don't know if we should or when we should do it. I woulod get married to him now, but I think I should wait until I am 21. Is this too soon, and should I date other people to be sure of my feelings? I am still in school and he has just graduated from graduate school. I just want to start my life as soon as possible. How do I know if this is right?
2006-07-15 16:51:35 · 22 answers · asked by madilyn07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No one can say for you. But I would hope you wait if anything is not ready emotionally or spiritually.
Statistically speaking, marriages do not survive when the two people are not both fulfilled. He is in graduate school and you are not blossomed yet. You have dreams and have not experienced life yet. You are very young. Travels, education, relationships and employment all could offer you a perspective to feel more an equal to this significant other later. If you sit at home a wife watching a baby... is that what you see for the next 10 years? Will this be riding his coat tails?
You are facing a future where you will be wondering what you could have been in 5 years if you do not pursue your dreams. I think you need to decide whether a more worldly person is a better wife. If you ate only vanilla ice cream your whole life - how would you discover if strawberry may be your favorite flavor?
2006-07-15 17:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Kerry Z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From personal experience, I will definitely say you should wait. I was madly in love with my high school sweetheart and we were together all through high school. I seriously thought we were going to get married and everything. Right after we both graduated from high school I went on a bit of a "soul searching" vacation because I hadn't really seen much of the world yet and wanted to live as much as I could before we were going to decide to "settle down." A couple weeks after I came back, I found out that he had cheated on me with someone. That's not to say that your boyfriend will do this to you, but from personal experience, you should not tie yourself down so soon in life. There's a lot that I missed out on and relationships I never got to explore because I was with that one guy. When you are *truly* ready, you will know and not need to ask anyone else.
Also, if he just graduated from graduate school and you are just now 19...there is obviously a pretty big age gap there. Do you know what he expects of you? Are you just support to sit at home and produce babies and clean the house? What of your dreams and aspirations? Definitely definitely find yourself and who you are before you get married. You'll totally regret if you don't.
2006-07-16 00:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by Jennyelf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young ... give the relationship as much time as you need to be sure he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. There is nothing wrong with talking about the future, but no need to make any decisions now.
I wouldn't worry about if you should marry him or not until he actually asks you to marry him. If you have any doubts then its probably not the right time or maybe even the right guy.
You will know if and when you want to marry someone. Until then just enjoy what you do have and stop projecting into the future. If you stay true to yourself then good things will happen.
Good luck
2006-07-15 23:59:22 · answer #3 · answered by J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need more life experience.
If you are unsure now break up ,remain good friends. Date other boys. get an education.
If in a year you still cant shake you love than have a very long engagement like 2 years so you can be sure this is the right step.
2006-07-15 23:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ryce Queen 13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're too young to get married.. you're still in school enjoy your life first... yeah i think it would'nt be bad if you date other people just don't let him know... but seriously, marriage is a BIG commitment before you go into it you should be sure of your feelings first.. of what you really want. Now's not the right time for you to get hitched because you're still having second thoughts about it... You'll know when it's right...
2006-07-16 00:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by little_devil501 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel the need to ask this question on Yahoo, then you're not ready. I am 22 and my boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years, all through college, and we're not even engaged yet. We know we will get married but we also know there are a lot of things we need to do first, like save money and get permanent jobs. If it's meant to be then it will be, and you need to take care of yourself first -- which includes finishing your education.
2006-07-15 23:59:38 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just turned 20 on the 7th of july and i am in a serious relationship as well. i thought about gettin married to my bf too but i kno deep down inside that i should wait. my bf and i argue and i kno that i dont wanna put up with the arguments right now. i am too young and i still have my whole life ahead of me. AS DO U ! ! ! ! ! Just give it more time and see where life take u first, u wont regret it.
2006-07-15 23:59:49 · answer #7 · answered by Keeta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are questioning it, you arent ready and will probably regret it at some point. I married at 20, had a baby a year later, and really wish I would have listened to people and waited. Hindsight 20/20 you know.
2006-07-15 23:55:16 · answer #8 · answered by Strange question... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the best thing for you is to wait try to get over wit your school again or wait until you are 21 trust me you will be glad you waited. just wait and when you think you are ready to get married and you dont have to question yourself then go for it. NO! do not date other guys to test your feelings, that is the worst thing anyone can do, if you love him you dont have to test it you should know already deep down in your gut. good luck.
2006-07-15 23:57:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think you should wait. It is evident (judging by your post) that you are having 2nd thoughts about getting married now. Trust your gut feeling. Besides, if he loves you and wants to marry you, then he will listen and respect your decision. If I was in your shoes, I would get my furture together first. If you all are still dating, then get married.
2006-07-16 00:00:20 · answer #10 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋