i once was very wild/outgoing but now i dont want to have sex at all my hubby try alot but im not interested,and im not cheating on him i have b/4 but thats a long time ago like months ago.
and the person i cheated with i dont even want him it was a big mistake what i done ,so how can i change my feelings towards my husband to make him happy cause he truly loves me.
and im sorry for the past but i have repented for my sins ,so now i want my hubby to b totally happy with our marriage.
please only serious response r welcome
i dont want no negative remarks already got enough ofthat already
2006-07-15 15:59:54 · 22 answers · asked by divapluss1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THIS IS TO ALL THE DISRESPECTFUL answers i got my husband knows about the affair i had and im done with that i just want to move on,i dont desire sex from no-one at this point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-16 04:29:53 · update #1
You may be guilty about having an affair and your guilt may be preventing you from "performing" so to speak. And though I don't want to say it, have you considered that there may be problems in your marriage that are causing you to feel less attracted to your spouse? What was your motivation for cheating, were you unhappy? If so, try dealing with your underlying problems and the sexual desire may resume. Good luck.
2006-07-15 16:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by leslie 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Many issues here.
First, sex comes from a desire to have a intimate relationship with another person. Love is much more than physical attractions - as you found out. You were in lust. And it appears you realized this. Now you have associated lust as not love. You will need to work your way through this by hugging your husband, holding hands, and getting to a relationship with him where you both can again trust each other. This will take time. Perhaps there will be a need to organize a real old fashion date and work your way up to sex again. Discover each other.
2006-07-15 16:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by Kerry Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason that you are no longer interested in the sexual act is that you are stressed and overcome by emotions (some which you could immediately name and others that are buried). If you are willing to look inside and release these blockages you can return to your prior level of sexuality (or even exceed it).
The best thing that you could do for yourself and your marriage as a whole is to see a therapist. I am both a hypnotherapist and a practitioner of energy healing techniques. If you are interested I could give you more information.
I wish you and your husband the very best,
Paul
2006-07-15 19:56:59 · answer #3 · answered by paulo1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dishonesty is the mother of all marital problems. You need to make your husband your friend, you can tell a best friend anything, but most people cannot do this with their partners. When you and your man become best friends and lovers, you will have found your soul mate, the one. In my line of work, I meet couples every day and most of them are soul mates to each other. You have a secret and you feel guilty about your betrayal of trust, slowly turn this scenario into an opportunity to get closer to your man, start talking to him, lack of communication is one of the major factors that lead to divorce. Take your time, but work on it, become more than married, become one. Imagine having a partner that you could be totally honest with and you will be imagining a friend, a lover and a husband like no other. I never make a prisoner of my partner, she is free, but chooses not to leave the open prison of our love. What you did is not so bad, the only bad part is that you cannot tell your husband that you made a mistake, try to change this scenario, it may take years. Start by asking him to reveal his sexual fantasy's, tell him they will make your love life better, tell him to make some up for you, slowly, you will learn more about him and about yourself. One day, you will be able to tell him anything and he will be the same, wouldn't you like that?
2006-07-15 16:27:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably having a problem with the guilt you are feeling over the affair you had. Your mind is telling you don't deserve your husband so therefore you think you don't need sex.
Perhaps you two could use some therapy. Your husband must think it is him and he feels bad. Maybe he even thinks you are cheating again. Go get some professional help so your marriage isn't ruined.
2006-07-15 16:10:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This story sounds familier to a situation my freind was in but the opersite if you know what i mean , anyways you cant make yourself have feelings because its an emotion you feel it or you dont its like you weather you like for example a certain food and another one you might not like it you cant just convinse yourself that you like it get what i mean . Personally its good you admited you did wrong and your trying to get things right howether dont look into the past whats happend has well you know happend so just focus on the future and good luck .
2006-07-15 23:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by badass-mofu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you think you feel bad for having an affair? How do you think your husband feels that you have had an affair on him and now you don't want to have intercourse with him. Can't you imagine what is going through his head? He probably thinks that you still want to be with the other guy since you are not having sex with him anymore. Can't say that I blame him.....I kind of think that way about you myself. If you truely love your spouse then there is no excuse for not wanting to have sex with them.
2006-07-15 16:37:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what the best thing about love is? Having someone else know the worst thing about you... and being OK with it.
I think your lack of intrest with your husband is a result of you holding this secret from him. You are probably trying to punish yourself in some way.
My advice is to be honest with him. Tell him the truth and see what happens. He may decide to forgive you or he may decide to leave... but one thing is for sure... you won't feel loved until the truth is out in the air. You are only hurting yourself by keep ing this secret.
2006-07-15 18:21:25 · answer #8 · answered by hyperhealer3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Question is Does your Husband know what you have done?....If so ...Good. You have to forgive yourself and heal from what you have done, truly heal! You are obviously feeling a void of something from the relationship... not saying it is him ...it could be from within you....so to find out what loss exactly you are missing from him or yourself...find a counselor for yourself then bring the husband in later. This will take the both of you 2 make this Happen....So I will keep you in my prayers!
Bishop G
2006-07-15 16:31:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress, work, kids, finances.
I have all these troubles and I no longer desire intimacy with my wife. She is miserable with her job and she lets me know constantly. Now I'm depressed and can no longer handle this lifestyle.
We have no time for this anymore but:
try to rekindle the "magic" that both had when you first got married and fell in love. Sometimes the memories help jar the emotions loose.
2006-07-15 16:06:43 · answer #10 · answered by n9wff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋