My husband has asked for a divorce.?

Question

my husband and i have been together for 10 years we have two children one 8 and the other one 6. we have been married for two years in May and he now asked me for a divorce. me tells me that i am a lazy b, a fing c and words like that he just started that two months ago and in front of the kids. i love him alot but just cant stand to be around him. today he asked to move out with the kids. i own a house with my 2 brothers and sister but the elictric has not been on there in two years. that is the only place i have to go. i have to have that turned on and a phone. he wants me to move in there with no elictric and phone. he hasn't been nice to me sense i quit my job, i had to quit because i was being harassed by a couple of people and and have not found another job sense then. i don't know what to do everyone is telling me to get cusody of the kids and get as much out of him that i can. in the past two month i have been called every name in the book. how do i tell the kids and help them.

Answer 1

maybe try a marrage councler. If that doesn't work for ya, then respect his wishes, but get a lawyer as soon as you can

Answer 2

Well, the first thing that you should do is get your mind together. Because all of the drama that he has just unfolded on you can really cause you stress. And if you're not thinking well, then you're not going to make the right kinds of decision. So, get yourself together first and put on your thinking cap.

You say that you love him and that may be true. But right now, you're not being respected as a wife should be. So, what does love have to do with anything? Don't get so caught up into your emotions, that it might cloud your judgement. Right now, it's about survival and establishing a new life without the drama. You always have to love yourself first.

So, what ever you got to do, do it! Don't let the fact that you don't have a job stop you. Get a job. Any job. Get the lights turn on and handle your business. No, it's not going to be just that easy. And that's why you don't need the added stress and emotional break down. Your marriage is ending. Face that as an absolute truth. Handle it as an absolute fact. And get your mind together, discover your life and take on the challenge. Give yourself sometime to adjust before try to explain what's going on to your children. They are going to be your biggest supporters right now. They don't need to see your down. You will find a lot of your strength through them. But you first have to get yourself together.

Answer 3

in the state i live in all you have to do if feel threatend as a female and you can have a restraining order on him... most guys say they want custody and will fight just becuase they dont like to lose if you feel your a good mother then especially while they are young they need you. now back to the restraining order if you file it it will be a month to two months before it is heard in court at what point you can ask for a "general restraining order" which means the court wont proceede with any other actions other then tell him he cant hurt you they at that time can enforce the child support ( and let the state do it , never agree to less ) with the restraining order comes you living in the house and youll have the kids and once the kids live with you with out him he is the one then has to prove you are unfit and he would be better off trying to move a mountain so long as you are doing right by your kids (food , nuturing, and a roof over their heads) under no circumstance do you let him back in the house for any reason during the restraining order or he has the right to move in becuase you welcomed him back and you voided the court order.... good luck

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your pain. Insults aside, you should really think about what is best for YOU and THE KIDs. Raising children in a hostile environment is very unhealthy and will damage them. I'm assuming you and your husband are not going to seek counseling because he seems to have selfishly decided that he wants a divorce. I understand why you left work and I'm not even married to you.In times like these we depend on our spouses to defend, protect and support our decisions. If you guys can't work out your situation then you need to leave ASAP! If he is demeaning you in front of the kids they'll think that's okay and do it too. They're at the age where they can make their own minds up and after that it's hard to make them change. My advice to you is that you go with your sis and bro and start a new life. Tell your kids you want them to be in a place where you are all going to be happy and grow closer. Tell them Mom and DAd love them very much and none of your probs are their fault. Lawyers are expensive so if he wants a divorce let him pay for it but you need to seek counsel because kids are involved. Get a job asap because you are going to have to prove that you are stable and fit to have sole custody of these kids. You don't wanna be the one who ends up paying child support if you are the parent they should ultimately be with. You are concerned for their mental, physical, and emotional well being, he on the other hand is a d**k.
God Bless you. And don't let a broken heart break you!

Answer 5

What brought that on? I don't understand how a marriage can turn so sour unless you have been unfaithful. Laziness etc can be counselled and modified. Were you exceptionally lazy? If you were unfaithful to him then you should get a divorce from him since he doesn't want you anymore.

He doesn't have the right to kick you out unless you are officially divorced. Tell him that. Stay put and don't budge until he gets a lawyer to officiate a Deed of Separation and eventually a divorce. Until you are legally divorced he can't get you to leave. If he does anything drastic like locking you out, go to the police and explain your situation. The police will talk to him and order him to let you in.

Answer 6

I wouldn't move out, if you have been married for ten years you have as much right to the house as he does. Tell him if he wants out to go, but you aren't going anywhere. In some states he can even be ordered to make the house payments until the home sells, I know because my husband had to pay all that when he and his ex split. Don't leave and call a lawyer first thing Monday morning. . Do not leave the house because he can then claim abandonment.If he threatens you physically, or makes you fear for your life, call the police. Just adding that because I don't personally know your situation and wouldn't want my advice to put you or your family in any type of danger.

Answer 7

Dont' leave - if he wants out - let him go, retain the house and the kids. If he is threatening you or abusing you - and mental abuse counts seek a restraining order at the local court or in an emergency order from the police dept.
Go see a lawyer or call a women's shelter to see if they can refer you to services to help you understand your rights under the law. Also since you are not working you may be able to get some assistance from the state when he is out of the house.
Your husband is obligated to support his children.
Good luck to you and your kids

Answer 8

tell him if he wants a divorce and u've got the kids then he should be the one to move out. He shouldn't up root ur children like that just because he wants out of the marriage, it's going to be a hard enough time for ur kids without them having to move in to a different home! If he isnt being nice to u then divorce is probably a good thing, get someone better who'll treat u right!

Answer 9

from my experience...i suggest highly that you get the hell out. he obviously doesn't wanna be with you anymore and the language he uses toward you in front of the kids is unacceptable!!!!! i will be honest with you and tell you that it sounds like he has someone else...one thing is for sure..once you move out you will build confidence and one of two things will happen..you will either move on without him or he will realize what he is giving up..sometimes actions will change a man. no i do not recommend that you take him for everything..he wants the divorce so he should help you out alot..but remember you love this man and to do him wrong will come back on you one day.. 2 wrongs don't make right. you know...i first said he probably had another woman but then again it sounds like maybe he is really stressed...you need to have a conversation with him and follow your instincts...ask him what is wrong and if it is your inability to find work or if he just doesn't love you anymore...please don't lower yourself to stay if he truly does not love you...good luck

Answer 10

You need to seak help from your local welfare office. If he is leaving you with nothing, then guess what... He WILL have to pay you alimony!!! You need to take them kids and run to your family! Don't let him get first dibs at them or he will feel they are his and you might be the one paying child suport. For now, you are still married to him and the house you live in with him is your home. If any demostic disbute, call the cops!!! Talk to your family and please get ahold of the welfare office. An attorny will also be very benificial to you too. He might tell you not to sign the devorce papers either. I think you should make this very difficult for your husband. The law is usually on the woman's side!!! Good Luck!

Answer 11

I've been in some bad situations also in the past. Take this to heart, sometimes it is better to take the losses for the sake of your happiness and your kids happiness. If you can stay with family until you can get on your feet. If your situation is already escalating, it can get worse and you need to keep yourself and your children safe. I never got anything out of my ex, not even my personal belongings, but I got my daughter and we are so much happier and safer now than we ever could have been with him. Good luck to you, I wish you the best.