I am 20 and he is 27 we hadn't even been married a year and we have a 17 month old son, and he cheated on me. When he was @ home he never did anything he was always home and at work. Then he joined the Army. He went overseas in December, then he came home for 2 weeks and went back a week later i found pictures of them two. i asked him about them and he said no and first then he said yes i asked if they had went all the way and he said no then yes. he talked to me for 2 weeks like almost 10 hrs everyday then he hasnt really talked to me for a week now. he says the reason he cheated on me was because he thought i was and she put stuff in his head that i was cheating on him. i know that he loves me when he was home he put my name on him and our son and my step daughter. so i am really lost because i keep thinking he is cheating still and i dont know how to deal with this? if anyone could help i would really thank you.
2006-07-15 15:41:00 · 16 answers · asked by Hun 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am going through a similar thing. My husband had a "thing" when he was away. We have been together for 18 years, I am 33 and he is 35. He didn't come clean on his own, he got caught in a lie. I have not kicked him out. Like you, that first week after the discovery, we talked constantly...then life for him got normal while I am left with the heart break. I know I can't do it alone, we have started counselling and I have gotten a great book- After the Affair. It totally validated my feelings and is helping me. If he is serious about loving you and fixing this- make sure he reads this book. Be careful though- some parts of this book are hard for betrayed to read. But give it a chance... I am hoping that we will know when it is time to fold in cards and walk away- but not without a fight!!! Good luck.
2006-07-15 15:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by maritimertequila 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that. It happens more than you know with men in the Military. I cant give you any advice as far as marriage goes but I will give you some good questions to think about. Is he worth the pain he has put you through? Do you love him enough to forgive and trust him enough to forget? I would really think about it. You are young, I hate to see marriages break up, but if a man cheats on his wife and she does not forgive him then the marriage vows are broken. It is not your fault at all and he cant put it on you. I cant believe he would leave pictures where you could even find them, it is almost like he wanted you to know. Just think about it, some women cant live with a man if they have cheated, some just live with them and are miserable because they can never trust again. You are only 20 and have a childs future to think about. If your child sees you unhappy chances are they will be too.
2006-07-15 22:50:38 · answer #2 · answered by c g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stated he went overseas? Was it to Iraq? Well, I think the circumstances need to be considered. You have no idea what it is like to be thousands of miles away from all you know and love. He probably lied about what he did at first because of guilt, shame, and didn't want to hurt you. You have to consider what you will be losing and what your son will be losing and decide if dumping him is worth it.....Forgiveness is divine. It is also very hard. Only you can decide if you can and will forgive him.
2006-07-15 22:55:43 · answer #3 · answered by destinynicolej 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is simple..
You love him but he just not that into you! Instead he chose another girl to fullfill his needs. Are you a second best just waiting at home with kids while he screwed around. Will u be worried what will happen next when he is away again?
Now he is blaming you instead..he is not Man enough. He wants you to share his guilt.
Up to you to take next step!
2006-07-15 22:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you can forgive him for cheating, then I suggest really talking with him and seeing how he feels, if you both love each other give it one more chance for the baby.....reassure him that you are not a cheater and that the other woman is just trying to make you look bad so she can have him...
2006-07-15 22:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by beviebaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive him this time tell him you wasnt cheating on him and not to do it again try to push it out of your mind even though it may be hard,if he does it again then get rid of him i look at it this way first time may be a mistake but second time is down right unforgivable throw him to the curb
2006-07-16 00:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by kandiesmaid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like he did cheat on you. You have to decide whether to stay on and accept and forgive him or leave him if you can't forgive and forget. What happened cannot be undone. It's your call now.
2006-07-16 06:50:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
professional counseling for free at militaryonesource. 1-800-342-9647. they will give you 6 sessions that will focus on the specific problem with a local counselor.
2006-07-15 23:11:46 · answer #8 · answered by thom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this would be really hard. He's talking to you all that time, and now nothing? That dosen't sound good does it? It's hard to trust someone once they've done that. You'll know what to do.
2006-07-15 22:47:55 · answer #9 · answered by trainer53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He more than likely is still cheating on you. Its easy to pass the blame on others when you know your guilty!
2006-07-15 22:45:20 · answer #10 · answered by daydreambeliever0000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋