How do I help my 5 year old deal with divorce?

Question

Her father and I divorced 2 years ago, but she is just now "acting" out about it. She cries for her dad every night, even though she sees him every other weekend and calls him daily. Her behavior is deteriorating as well...she is constantly pushing my buttons and defies authority. She gets worse when we are in the company of others. Does anyone have any suggestions? (and yes, I do spank when needed).

Answer 1

i have a 6 year old little girl, and her father and i havent been together for 3 years now.. the key is 1. never putting ur child in the middle not even on simple things..only causes confusion.. 2. Never belittle the other parent when the child is around, even if their not in the room little ears can hear great distances..3. Reassurance.. always reasure your child that both of you love them 4. Dont bring people of the opposite sex Bfs/Gfs around the child especially in the beginning it makes it very confusing for a child to watch another person kiss their mommy or daddy ... You should only bring "serious" bfs/gfs around your child when it looks like it has the potential of being a lasting relationship. 5. When one or both parents remarry.. NEVER make your child feel they have to be loyal to u instead of the step mother, your their parent they will always be loyal to u, so dont be offended if they call the step parent dad or mom it usually help the child if they can look at it as they have a bigger family rather then a blackballed Step parent.. Kids usually reflect whats going on in their lives by their additude especially at that age.. My child was 3 when we seperated and went from potty trained to suddenly having to be repotty trained.. Talk to her.. let her call her daddy any time she wants to.. realize shes upset and shes taking it out on you.. her life as she knew it came to a halt and shes trying to make sense out of something her mind is to immature to make sense out of.. I dont know if u left him or not, but if u left him, and he's told her this .. example Daddy come home, or why arent u living with mommy .. if he said "cause mommy doesnt want me there anymore, or mommy told daddy he had to leave" then that could be why she's so angry with u she looks at it as your fault daddy isnt coming home.. So love her and make sure u and ur x dont use her as a pawn in any games..

Answer 2

I was 8 when my parents got a divorce. so this is what i would say looking back on it.
1. Be honest about what will happen, if known
2. Never down the other parent
3. Don't force the kid into counseling till they are ready (I went and it did nothing for me because i was not ready and i felt forced so i never opened up.)
4. Don't start to play I'm the better parent- gifts etc
5. Tell them and why it's not because of them
6. Use examples that they can relate to at the age they are

Answer 3

I believe you need to let you daughter know just who is in charge in your house.
Spanking will not always solve the problem but, at times is warranted.
Your need to take charge is and should be swift. Her acting out should also not be allowed. You have a very frighten girl and her world has been turned upside down and she blames you.
If your ex has so much contact with her, he needs to support you and if he doesn't, make him. His input will be very valuable to you, showing the girl she will not get away with her actions.
Most of all be patient and allow her to change in time as this will not happen over night.
Good luck !!!

Answer 4

* Look into getting counseling for both yourself and your child
* Perhaps enroll in a "DivorceCare" class through a church, call around and see if any churches have those programs
* See if there is a "Parents without Partners" support group for you to attend
* Call Dr. Laura for advice

Some ideas:
* When she cries for him if the time is appropriate (not bedtime or anything) encourage her to draw a picture to give him
* Never never never talk badly about him, he sounds like a great father to call every night, etc
* No idea if this will work, but reward her if she has a "good" day and doesn't act out

Hang in there!!!

Answer 5

Seriously consider sending her to live with dad. There are many qualified dads that can raise a child just as well as a mom.

If he does not want this responsibility then see if they can spend some extra time together. All the time she can spend with him now will help her grow up to be well adjusted.

If you do not want to let her live with with dad you should truly evaluate why and if it is because of the child support or power and control then she is definetly better off with dad.

Good luck!

Answer 6

my parents divorced when i was 8 and i locked my self in the bathroom and wouldnt come out. i ended up haveing to go to therepy for a while , it was great and really helped . she needs help dealing with it especially if they were close

Answer 7

You, her and her father needs to seek counseling. There is special counselors that treat children.