My husband has started drinking more and more these days. I have tried to talk to him about and so have his kids but he just does not care what we say. He does not think that his drinking is the cause of any of our problems but it is to blame for all of them. I love him and do not want to leave him but I do not want to live like this. He drinks everyday, and after I put my 9 month old to bed I have to do the same for him. All aspects of out relationship is going down hill and he thinks it is all me. What do I do?
2006-07-15 14:44:24 · 4 answers · asked by jess b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BEEN THERE!!!!
My husband will be 2 years sober in Aug.
You can not talk to a drunk. If he is always drinking then when you try to talk to him he's either drunk or well on his way to being drunk and in that case what ever you say will set him off.. he becomes defense....
No one can make him stop drinking, not you and not the kids, he needs to first admit that he has a problem and then only he can do something about it...
In my case i told him " you either stop drinking and if you can't do it on your own then get help, because if you don't stop there is your bag you have to leave"
In my case it worked, but it doesn't always...
You have to make the decision on what to do that is best for you and everyone involved... Good Luck!!!
2006-07-15 14:55:33 · answer #1 · answered by DeeDee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know it may be difficult, but first let him know that if this doesn't change, you will be leaving him. He doesn't think you will ever leave him, so he continues. And when you do leave him, make sure he is serious about changing and actually does change before you return. If you continue to let him blame you, he will never heal and your self-esteem will suffer greatly. Take action now. It's taken me 7 years to heal from the same abuse from my ex. I always believed him when he said it would change, but it never did. I finally ended it. It's been 10 years now and I'm finally becoming myself again, I had a lot of healing to do from that same type of treatment. To this day he is still an alcoholic. I hate to imagine the basketcase I would be if I stayed with him.
2006-07-15 22:57:13 · answer #2 · answered by Roxw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you are moving out until he gets his **** together. If he has kids that live at home take them w/him.
There may be something else going on in his life that is leading him to want to drink.
Maybe going to a therapist would help. Tell him you want him to go w/you to help you if he will not go for himself. They have this medication for people so they won't drink .
2006-07-15 21:49:53 · answer #3 · answered by chill'n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop putting him to bed, leave his *** right where it's at. He needs to know you're not putting up with his drinking and he either loses the drinking or he loses you and that you're not hearing his blame everyone else bullshit stories.
2006-07-15 22:03:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋