my best friend is a dancer and is always drunk,when she works. best friends for 12 years, she is so unreliable its crazy. she forgets things that she said. we make plans to do somethhing together and then she wont answer her phone.she has always been ths way but last weekend was it, my baby turned 1 yr.(her goddaughter) and she never came to the party and i reminded her like 4 times that week. she finally calls 2 days later and , like always, used some lame excuse,like her phone was in her car or she forgot. i love her but i cant count on her for anything.im avoiding her now. what should i do?
2006-07-15 13:53:42 · 16 answers · asked by angela 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sounds a little along the lines of what I'm going through with my best friend right now...
Let the friendship fizzle on it's own... Don't call her for a while...see if she calls.
My best friend and I live 15 minutes apart and have only spent 15 minutes together since I got married Febrary 1st!! We were supposed to get together yesterday for my birthday finally (it was May 28) and her's (July 10), and she came up with some lame excuse to get out of it...like she always does...and after I've called her 4 times during the week to confirm it since she's always backing out. I basically told her that we have to get together in the next 2 weeks before my husband and I move (within our apt complex)... Then after that, I'm going to just let it go.
We've been best friends for 10 or 11 years, so I know the agony you are feeling right now. You go through so much in that time. It's scary to think you would be without that security. However, sometimes life just takes you in different directions. You have your family to be concerned about...her choices are obviously taking her in a very different direction.
It could also be that SHE is trying to let the friendship fizzle. Sorry if that sounds harsh...but it came to me about my best friend as well...which is why she was never as concerned as me that we weren't spending time together.
Good luck...I know it's a tough position to be in. However, in the meantime, maybe you could find other people that fit your life now...maybe like a "Mommy and Me" class that you can go to and meet other mothers...or church if you are Christian (or other religious meeting place depending on your religion)...
2006-07-15 14:23:12 · answer #1 · answered by Janelle M 3 · 11⤊ 1⤋
Anglea - here's an answer to a question you retracted.
Good job for getting through a stressful situation already. It's got to be tough having your husband's children in the house for a month. I'm sure you did well. You need to remember that the children are a product of their mother's thoughts and actions -- and I wonder if she knows you very well to be saying such things. It's really not the kid's fault, they are like sponges. Take the high road, know that you are a great person and try to be as reasonable with the children as you can (be very kind to them). Ask your husband to tell the children that he will not tolerate any negative talking about you in the house and that both of you will give the same consideration to the kid's mother. All in all, do not take it personally. Try to intrepret it in the best light possible for you (for example - maybe she is envious of your relationship). You could also try to extend an olive branch to the mom (with your husband's assistance) because it's really not fair to the children and it's not teaching them good relationship skills.
2006-07-15 21:52:59 · answer #2 · answered by JLF 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please sit her down and tell her she has a drinking problem to start with. Let her know that you are concerned for her well being. While you are at it let her know how badly she has hurt your feelings in missing her godchilds birthday party. Tell her you don't think she's realiable, and she's being a bad best friend. If you don't tell her she will never know. Have some cooth though don't be mean about it. I'm sure she'll love the truth even if it does hurt.
2006-07-15 21:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by ozy184 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive her and realize that she may be going though something that you may not have any idea of. I know how you feel but just keep trying to reach out to her one day she will give you her hand to pull her out of the things she is facing. You can not help her until she is ready. Keep being there for her and support her, that's what friends are for.
2006-07-15 21:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by It's me... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about her!! She's going down a road that you don't want to go!!
It's hard letting a close friend go after that amount of time but in the end it would be smarter.
2006-07-15 20:59:54 · answer #5 · answered by beachlivin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With friends like that you really don't need enemies. I had a friend like that once and our friendship slowly deteriorated on its own. I am so much happier this way and less stressed. It's best you just let the friend go and don't let her hurt your daughter/son the way she hurt you.
2006-07-15 20:57:16 · answer #6 · answered by SquirrelBait 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't run.. face it. if you believe you can't deal with it anymore then just walk away.. but if you think you can try and help her get through all that and become a better person.. then go for it.. it's hard and takes time.. but "a friend in need is a friend in deed"
2006-07-15 20:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by Ninja CK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop calling her and start going to and setting up event with other people. Keep her away from that part of your life.
If you want her to stop drinking, suggest to her that she needs to slow down for her health and safety, but that she can't be around your family while she's drinking.
2006-07-15 20:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by dbelyew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend needs some help or you need a new best friend. Don't let her drag you down with her.
2006-07-15 20:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by coolwhipping 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and tell how u feel. maby somthin is wrong with her. or even tell her that she isnt the god mother any more. 'cause like would u really want her 2 be ur sons god mom, when she cant even show up at his own b-day!!!
2006-07-15 20:59:44 · answer #10 · answered by missshopper1313 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋