I'm learning a lot today... I'm thinking of a change in my life...?

Question

I am positive I need to move on from the boyfriend. Hearing opinions from complete strangers is easier for me. The unbias helps.
Here is where I need a little more help:
How do I get him to move out quickly & without the drama?
I don't care about what he owes me, I just want to get on with my life...
Should I give him a couple days to get out, or be just as respectful to him as he's been to me, and just tell him to get out, he can come back for his things another time.
As I sit here stewing in my fury, I;ve even thought about changing the locks before he gets back. But I won't go quite that far.
Is there any BEST way to handle this, and still remain an adult?

Answer 1

Pack his stuff for him and have it sitting on the porch when he gets back. Tell him "Thanks for the memories, bye, bye."

Answer 2

People like you are hard to come by these days. I wish everyone was as mature. Sorry your relationship didn't work out, but it sounds like you're doing the right thing. Even though he may have been disrespectful to you, you should not do the same.....treat your neighbors as you would want to be treated....right?
I don't know if this is a place you bought together or had before he came along. If you already had the place, then definitely give him a few days to pack his stuff and go. Unless of course you feel you may be putting yourself in danger in which you should contact your police dept. on how to handle the situation.
If you think he will leave without a "fight" then give him those few days to pack. It's up to you whether you want to give him enough time to find his own place ( a week or so) or enough time to find a friend/family member that will take him in (2-3 days). Either way you choose, I would give him a cut-off date. Tell him you are changing the locks on (give him a date). If he's not out by then, he can pick his stuff up off the porch/lawn/wherever. As tempting as it may sound, don't throw it everywhere.
It may be wise to have someone with you while you explain this to him. And again on the day he leaves, or if it comes to it, on the day you put his stuff out.
If however this is a place that you and he bought together, and you are not bound to any contract, you may want to think about packing up your own stuff. Starting a new life in a new place. I pray that all goes well and that you enjoy your new and fresh start! God bless you! :-)

Answer 3

We need more information. Do you own the house or rent an apartment. Is him name on the deed or lease? If not then call the police and have him removed. If he is then you need to start legal eviction proceedings which can take a very long time. What I recommend, if you are renting an apartment, is move out yourself. Have the landlord change the lease to his name and find another place. Sometimes taking a loss will make you go farther in the long run.

Answer 4

Don't get crazy or confrontational, that doesn't really help anything. The best piece of advice is this - don't do anything you'll regret later.

If you want to end your relationship, just tell him that it's over and that's all there is to you. Ask him to get his stuff and leave. It's only fair that you let him come back later if need be, but make sure it's on your terms.

If it's going to be hard for him, just be kind but firm. Be an adult and be mature - it will go okay.

Answer 5

Sit him down and tell him he needs too move out immediately. Now if he's on the lease you have to give him 30 days legally (that's if he reacts badly and says he has no place to go).

If he agrees to do so, tell him you're going out all day, and make sure he packs EVERYTHING and leaves the key on his way out. Tell him you expect him to be gone by eg. Tuesday July 18, 2006 no later then 10 PM.

If that doesn't work and he's NOT on the lease...call the cops!!!

Answer 6

Well, asking someone to move out is kinda hard to do without the drama. However, I would let him know that you need to move on and give him a few days to find another place. Don't let him abuse those "few days" but I don't think it's very adult to just kick him out on the street with no home. It does take a while to reestablish oneself after living in one place for so long. Good luck.

Answer 7

You should try taking a break.. Don't listen too much to peer pressure.. Once I was having trouble with my boyfriend and EVERYONE told me to leave him.. So I did.. Dated someone else for a month .. But in that month my fiance TOTALLY changed.. We were 2000 miles apart and he had been in gangs, totally ignoring me, failing school, running wild like crazy and disrespecting me... Leaving him was the wakeup call he NEEDED and after a month he was calling me crying and writing me poems.. I gave him another chance and he quit all the gangs, cut down dramatically on the drugs, got a job, got his *** in line and finished Highschool and now we are living together, working, going to college, and engaged..

Taking that break was the best decision I EVER made.

Cut him free - take a break - and if it was meant to be and if he really loves you then he will come to his senses and go crazy trying to win back your heart.

Be respectful but blunt. Make it so he totally doesn't see it coming .. But don't go crazy bitchy on him or you will lose your chances of him changing and coming back to you. Girl I know right now you may think you are ready to be rid of him - but the drama has clouded your vision - deep inside you still love him and want him.. I know - I've been there. You have to dramatically shock him. Make him see that he HURT you and that now he is such an IDIOT for losing you.. Make him go to his friends crying and begging for you back - instead of having him cussing you out and going to his friends yelling about you, calling you a *****, and going out ******* 20 girls for revenge. Do it with class, grace, and let him know you deserve to be treated better until he belives it.. Good luck..

Answer 8

Just to let u know.. u can ask him to leave, but legally if thats his place of residence (and he doesnt need to be on the lease or a owner,)but if he's lived there for a while and refuses to leave.. you'll have to legally evict him.. giving him 30 days "written" notice.. So if he refuses to leave thats your next step.. if he's on the lease then you'll have to be the one that leaves.. My brother was living with my parents he was 21 and getting into all kinds of trouble, being mentally abusive to my mother, breaking and stealing things in the house and my father wanted to kick him out to the point that the cops were called.. and the cops told my father that although its my fathers house, he's allowed my brother to live there and that legally my brother has a right to 30 days notice... So be prepared..

Answer 9

You could leave and stay at a friends house. Give him a ring and tell him to be gone by the time you get back. Don't go back until you feel he is gone. He won't able to cause the drama if he don't know where you are. Remember he is only a click away!

Answer 10

Who cares about remaining an adult do what you feel needs to be done. Especially if He cheated on you i would change the locks and leave a note on the door that says "you also lost the key to my heart to. have a nice life"

Answer 11

I gave my ex a timeframe that he wasn't really happy with ( he would have just stayed and stayed) but it was a reasonable amount of time and I was out of the house for it....

He had from Friday to Sunday to get his stuff out. I still made him pay all he owed me though.

Good luck. Chage the locks as soon as his stuff is out - no need to visit after it's over for good.