is it normal to date a girl for 5 years and not have sex? I have been dating my gf for over 5 years and she won't have sex until we're engaged. Furthermore, she's not a virgin, she had sex once when she was 18, we're now 27. Is there more I should know?
2006-07-15 11:07:59 · 30 answers · asked by Jason 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Just because she had sex before doesn't mean anything now. Obviously she now has certain standards which she lives by - one of them being to wait until engagement/marriage to have sex. There is nothing wrong with that and you should respect her choices. You aren't doing anything wrong and if you guys have been together 5yrs you are both probably pretty happy with one another.
2006-07-15 11:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 yrs is a long time! 27 is getting along a bit too. Chances are that her first sexual experience was not a good one? Possibly she got dumped soon there after and felt used? Perhaps she feels that until you commit yourself into marriage that you are not really serious about her? Of course that does not mean you should let her push you into marriage, because just the desire to have sex with someone does not make the foundation for a good marriage. You have to look at that like a life long commitment so you want to be pretty sure you are compatible in more ways than just in the bedroom.
It is commendable that you have restrained yourself for so long into your relationship on the sexual side. You're not getting it on the side are you? But I'm curious as to why you are holding off on commitment? After five years together a lot of people would have decided they are ready to marry?
Another thing to consider is did she contract any STD's that she is worried about passing on to you? That would be a good reason why a responsible person would hold off on sex too.
Maybe you should talk about your relationship together... where it's been, where it is, and where it's going. Get your feelings, fears and concerns out in the open?
2006-07-15 11:23:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, she's really persistent. well I had made that promise (to not have sex again until I was married), but I never kept it. guess it takes a lot of will power and she seems to have it. well, I don;t know what to tell you as far as your question: "Is there more I should know?" Do you love her? and if you do, why has it taken so long for you to get engaged? Maybe it's time for the two of you to move on...I mean, if it seems like such a big deal to be engaged to this woman, then you should just run the other way. But if you know that you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, then just ask her to marry you, what are you waiting for?!?
2006-07-15 11:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by one_sera_phim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is absolutely abnormal! Besides, how would you both know you would feel ok with each other if you are to get married at some point? No way. Something's not right. Better ask your girlfriend what is the reason behind this. But don't be rude or aggressive, as there might be some real issue she is having. Good luck! But you need to have sex.
2006-07-15 11:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by Rachelgoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal. She most likely made a bad decision, and abstinance is a good road to take. You should talk about waiting untill after your married and not justy engagement. FYI, when you do finally have sex, make it as special as you can. For all you know, her first expeiriance could have been horible. and even though it may not be her first, you can make it seem that way
2006-07-15 11:37:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it isnt "normal" to not have sex for five years..At least not up to todays standards...I do think it's very admirable though...Just because she had sex before doesnt mean that she should again..She may regret doing it and wants to wait until she is married...I think it's great that you stayed with her that long without having sex...There should be more guys like you in the world...Take care of her and keep her..
2006-07-15 11:13:52 · answer #6 · answered by Heather G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with waiting until being engaged. The first time she had sex might have been a mistake. She might have thought she loved someone and they could have used that to sleep with her.
Some people wait until they get married.
2006-07-15 11:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by tiravellian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame her and though you are having your misgivings, I commend you for sticking with her and encourage you to support her choice in this matter. Sex without commitment brings on such emotional burdens that we should not have to carry. She probably regrets her decision and has made a decision to wait until she knows it is for life. If you really love her, buy her a ring and if you are just waiting to have sex, have some respect for her, let her go.
2006-07-15 11:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal my fiance and I have know each other for 5 years as well and we both decided when we get married which was this year. There is no rush for love trust me the longer you wait the more satisfied you will get.
2006-07-15 11:12:32 · answer #9 · answered by Gaiane t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My awnser is A question... why havent you asked her to marry you? if you have spent 5 years with her you must love her & think she is the one...if your not sure then why stay in the relationship?
If my b/f did not ask me within 18 months I would move on because I dont think it would ever happen
2006-07-22 04:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋