before me and my hubby got married we partied alot and he got drunk 1 night and hit me alot. Ever since then it just keeps happening even when hes not drunk i need advice!!!
2006-07-15 10:35:07 · 22 answers · asked by Andrea M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a shrink!
Two hours ago you were on questions asking how you could get pregnant in a wheelchair.
Then you hopped on with this one. A drunk husband who beats you. In a wheelchair! And you wanted to get pregnant 2 hours ago.
And when that question had scarcely left your hot little hands, you were asking if you should leave your husband for some guy on a chat room who wrote you a song. If I were your old man, I'd say "Big Wheels Keep On Rolling"!
Don't you know the questions you ask are on your profile?
Not nice to fool people who are trying to help you!
2006-07-15 11:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only is there no excuse for that sort of violence in a relationship, there's no way to change it.
Any person (NOT just men, woman can be violent abusers too) who can gert their mind to the point where it's OK to hit someone they're in a relationship with won't change, no matter how much they say they can.
In order for you to hit your partner, a large number of things need to take place. The end result is that you "believe" that a valid way to deal with stress is to pass it along to someone else, you believe that violence is an acceptable stress relief, and you believe that anyone you're in a relationship is like "property". If they were an individual, you couldn't believe that their rights were less than your own. (In order for someone to be posessive, you think of someone as a posession)
Changing those conciously takes alot of work. But chaning the subconcious response (when you're really angry, you're operating more on instinct than logic) takes ALOT of time, and help from professionals. Just seeing a councillor may change the concious, but when the stress is high, and they're really angry, the established barriers come down and you revert to old habits.
That's why people say to get out of those relationships. By the time you actually change someone, you'll either be so old you won't be able to enjoy it, or dead because they beat you once too many times.
2006-07-15 18:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by cmriley1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess this is where someone tells you to leave, and you say you can't because you love him, then someone says that if he hit you once, it will only get worse, and then you say but he doesn't mean it, he apologizes after wards, then someone says but you will end up dead, he will not stop until your dead or really messed up. Then, maybe the state will step in, then you'll say but everyone needs to leave me and my husband alone, and then we do. and then he hits. And then he hits one too many times. And then he's done. And then he's done. And he buries you and collects money from your death because it was deemed an accident. He takes a vacation and meets a young girl who falls in love with him. Then, sometime later, he gets drunk, and then he hits. He says he's sorry, and she believes him. And the vicious cycle goes on. How many people have to go through this before they realize that the man's sick and needs help? Your feeding his addiction. Don't be a punching bag. DAMN IT! Women, you will make it without him!
2006-07-15 17:47:37 · answer #3 · answered by jkcmr2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for any man to hit any woman at any time for any reason. Your husband is clearly a physically abusive person, which can ultimately lead to a deadly consequence. The first time he hit you, you should have dumped him. Now that you're married, you need to leave. Get a divorce ASAP and stay far away from him. People like him won't change. Save yourself before it's too late.
2006-07-15 17:41:47 · answer #4 · answered by S&S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him (if you can) and ask him why he's hitting you. Sounds like you both need some marriage counseling, especially your hubby since he is the one abusing you. One thing is for sure, that living with a man who hits you isn't healthy. Don't be afraid to go and stay with a family member or friend and demand your spouse get into counseling and get some help.
2006-07-15 17:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for it!
If you can't handle the alcohol you consume...then don't drink it.
I believe that people can change...I know they can. But they can only change if they allow themselves to change.
My advice...You need to get him help or get out now! You can't wait...one day it may be too late. And you can't keep thinking that nothing will happen to you. Things happen to women in this situation all the time...it only gets better with help...and only gets worse without change. Contact the Battered Woman's Services. I know personally how much these people help in situations like this. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you really need it.
~Christina~
2006-07-15 17:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by babiblond_xx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jesus christ! He is a psycho. Call 911 dear. He is a danger not just for you, but everyone in the hood.Believe me, some people are more like animals than humans.
Its okay if its just a verbal abuse, probably some advice.mutual understanding helps
But beating aint cool. Call 911.
2006-07-15 17:39:02 · answer #7 · answered by Eric 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, divorce! it will never stop, have someone deliver the note to him while you are not home, get a restraining order at the same time, he has to leave the house within certain hrs, talk to police about this, you will get more detailed information of the process. but seriously, you have to leave him.
2006-07-15 17:53:29 · answer #8 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a wheelchair and he's beating you? You really need to divorce him and for goodness sake don't try to have a baby with him. I read all of your other questions.
2006-07-15 18:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by guineasomelove 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order. Get family help. Move away. Be vigilant but not afraid.
2006-07-15 18:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by robert r 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋