We have been together on and off and there have been some betrayals of trust. Not in the cheating way but in the way where stupid things have been said while arguing. I feel distant and I am starting to feel like we are room mates rather than lovers......Anyone with some creative suggestions?
2006-07-15 10:25:27 · 11 answers · asked by sweetmammaearth 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try talking and listening. Stressing the listening part. My wife and I have what we call a "No Obligations" clause in our relationship. It covers many things, but one is communications. By invoking this, it means we are allowed to say what is on our mind without reprisal. It also covers situations when one wants to do something the other doesn't, we don't feel obligated to do it. The main thing is to talk. Don't call each other names, don't bring up past indiscretions, don't get overly emotional. If you find yourself getting angry or hurt, take a break to calm down and get control before you start again. I can't stress enough that the most critical part of talking to each other is listening. Don't be thinking what your next argument is going to be or how you're going to score the next point, listen to what your partner is really saying. Good luck.
2006-07-15 10:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by sparkletina 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you feel that way because its the way you should feel based on what you have seen in the relationship. Maybe you shouldn't ignore it or try to 'fix' it, maybe you feel just the way you should and maybe that is what you should base your decisions on. I would say slowly though, and not until you have evidence that whatever went wrong before has truly changed, nothing will make you feel more stupid or used than investing yourself back in to the relationship just for the privelege of reliving what went wrong before over and over again. I guess I'm saying you feel the way you do for a reason, don't ignore that, its a sign that this relationship isn't what it should be and its exactly how so many people end up divorced, they ignore the signs and try to plow on anyway.
2006-07-15 10:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key here is you say, you have been together off and on..
That is a clue that the relationship. I was in one like that once and even tho I loved him, we could never maintain a long term realtionship.
You need to ask yourself if you want the rest of your life arguing, breaking up and getting back together again?
Sounds like you guys need to sit down while all is well and have a discussion of how to avoid arguments. Because whatever you are doing now, isnt working.. Think of ways to avoid conflict.
Eventually it will be up to you if you can deal eith the ups and downs.
2006-07-15 10:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key. You need to rebuild your emotional bond to your partner. Basically start from scratch and start spending time together and getting to know eachother all over again. You will learn new things about your partner and vice versa. Go out on "dates" together, take a weekend away somewhere close, go on a vacation, etc - you need to spend time together communicating with eachother. Once you get the communication down it's going to be a lot easier for the passion in your relationship to thrive.
2006-07-15 10:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting away to some place quiet. A nice place to relax and regroup. If your lover has gone away and some other person is in his place than move on. Do something that you did together when you first started going out and when you turned from friends to lovers. Maybe that will light his fire. If not oh well move along.
2006-07-15 10:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by thebulktiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more you try the more he is gonna run the other way. Start being interested in things you like to do by yourself. Show him that you are not going to just sit and wait for him to come around back to where you are. If he is not there for you find something else to make you happy. Do not idolize this man in your life and don't forget about what makesd you happy. He needs to remember it's not all about him.
2006-07-15 10:42:33 · answer #6 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first step id take is to realize passion fades out not all completely yet allot even in a healthy relationship , you should be looking for ways to get the love and trust back into the relationship , and the passion will follow once those are there .
Hunny if you ever find out how to get the trust back , send me a note cause I'm scrambling for ways to get it back too .
2006-07-15 10:34:34 · answer #7 · answered by insertstrawhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and have a romantic dinner. Don't talk about ANYTHING that might start an argument!
2006-07-15 10:28:20 · answer #8 · answered by thinkGREEN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find the root of the what brought you together.
2006-07-15 10:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fastest way to a man's heart is to do something kinky in bed. buy a porno and play out the scenes
2006-07-15 10:28:57 · answer #10 · answered by FarAway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋