I love my husband but i think we need to get divorced.?

Question

we have been together 5 years married for 3. when we first met things were great he always told me he loved me kissed me hello and goodbye goodnight etc.. we would sit and talk and just have a good time together our sex life was great and everything was perfect. Well now we dont kiss he sleeps in the living room and we have sex mabey once a month, he never wants to do anything together and im always alone while he sits in the garage working on his truck.. my wedding ring broke about 3 months ago (it was a cheap walmart special) and he still wont buy me a new one he says he doesnt have the money but he just spent a few hundred on another truck last week i dont know what to do i love him but i cant take it anymore and to top it all off we have a 4yr old somebody please give me advise ***********p.s serious answers only please

ive read all your answers but let me tell you more.. i have talked to him about this many many times i have threatened to leave on many occasions its like that song- why does it always come down to you leaving before i'll say i love you.. my son is 90% of the reason why i stay because i dont want to hurt him hes still just a baby i just dont know anymore

Answer 1

if you love him try talking it out with him i am sure he will understand and abt the ring just forget it as long as you have your man by your side don't bother abt the ring as long as there is love there should not be any value for any materialistic things and now abt the sex life get some sizzle into it like one day wear your sexiest outfit make a nice candle lit dinner with some good aromatic candles lit around make sure the dinner is light and after dinner just surprise him by taking the first move

i hope this will help you and don't think abt getting a divorce so easily as i believe its very easy to break a relationship than to make one

for the rest i will pray for you

good luck lady

Answer 2

I am sorry but did you not hear your wedding vows? And if you love your son, do you think it is fair that the two adults here cause him pain and insecurity? He is four years old.. A very critical age to be strenthened and shown security in an unsecure world.. His home should be his refuge and if the two of you cannot see passed this then you are better off apart for your sons sake.... I know this sounds harsh but your son does not have a voice for him since he is so young. In all respect, marriages all have struggles, they are never perfect and they require a lot of communication, and selfless acts on both parts.. And lots of times one has to give more than the other... Kind of like one carrys the other, but if you cannot communicate and show love to eachother you will always have bigger problems. Have you tried to be loving and supportive even when he may have been undeserving? Try it, it just might open him up. Men need attention too, even after we have a family. You still have to take the time for him, even to listen to how he feels about things, to cook a special meal and just listen in an unselfish way. And really, what does it matter where your ring came from if the marriage falls apart? It should not matter if it came out of a bubble gum machine if you love each other, that is what matters... I hope that you understand I am not being mean, but you should first start by changing your self first and take it from there. Be a good person, a good wife, be loving and don't expect perfection, see what happens and I garantee he will see you in a whole different light. Treat others how you would want to be treated..... Best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 3

Of course only you can make the decision to leave him, and no one else. It sounds like he is taking you for granted. Not because he disrespects you, but because he's comfortable. I'm sure more marriages than not are like this. Before you make any hasty decisions, I would speak with someone. Maybe the two of you could benefit from marriage counseling. Have you told him how you feel? If he is like most men, he probably just blows you off because he does not see a problem. As far as buying the truck over a new ring, I agree he should tend to the ring first, but he has you! You're his wife! Giving you another ring isn't as important anymore.
It sounds like a simple case of him being comfortable and not having to please you anymore since he has you! Talk to him about it. If you have and he doesn't respond the way you want him to, then I would seek professional help or perhaps stay with a relative for a few days. Let him know how serious you are that there needs to be a change.
Remember, your child is the most important person here.
It is true: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus!

Answer 4

Maybe you are both just getting into the hum drums of
being together so long, comfortable in the relationship so
to speak, don't rush into thoughts of divorce, you do have a child together. Give it some time and try talking to him
about it and tell him it bothers you that things are not the same between you and if you do still love him and believe
he still loves you, things will probably work out. As for your
wedding ring, yes, he should buy you another one, I'm sure he can find a very nice ring, without it costing too much. But if he does buy you another one, make sure he puts it on your finger as before, I'm kinda superstitious
about wedding rings.

Answer 5

Have you talked to him about how all this has made you feel? I don't believe that any love story is like a fairy-tale. In the beginning, there are the butterflies & everything is perfect, but after time, I believe all relationships die down. It is odd that he sleeps in the living room, though. Try to talking to him, ask him how he feels about you. Ask if he feels the same as he did when you got married. I can understand the getting frustrated @ all of that. I would too. It's like he's putting his interest in trucks before his interest in you. Try talking to him. Maybe try counseling. If worse comes to worse & you do end up getting a divorce, just make sure your child is involved in both of your lives. There are a LOT of divorced couples these days, with children. Your child will learn to cope with environment. It's better than the child seeing the misery in the home. Good luck!

Answer 6

Have you tried talking to him about this? Did something happen that droev you apart, or has it just happened over time? Sometimes people do indeed grow apart and nothing can be done to bring them closer. But especially having a child in the picture, it's definitely worth giving it a shot. Do you have any mutual friends who might know if something is up with him?

My advice would be, to get things started, think back to when you first got together, think about something you did together that brings back one of your favorite memories. You can never go back, but you could make the move to go out of your way to do something special for him, something that reminds him of how awesome it was in the beginning. Hopefully this will warm him up enough to at least level with you on where things are headed between you. Best of luck :)

Answer 7

As much as I hate to say this, are you the only woman in his life? Are you sure?

While it's normal for the chemistry to wear off after a couple of years, it is NOT normal for someone in a marriage to be as uncaring as you've made him sound.

Have you talked to him about it? Have you told him that you feel that he's putting up a wall between the two of you?

If not, that would be a great first step. Have him talk to you, and make sure that you tell him that if he's not happy, that you'll be willing to set him free, AFTER you have tried to work things out. Remind him (kindly) that he is not a bachelor, anymore, and that he has certain obligation due to the fact that he has a family.

If he cares, he'll make a visible effort to make things work. If he doesn't care, though, he'll brush off what you have to say after about a week or two, and go back to doing his own thing.

I know it hurts, but please be prepared to accept the fact that while you're in love with him, he may not be in love with you.

Answer 8

Sounds like you should work on this some before you throw it away, it is a marriage not a fling. He's gotten lazy and complacent, why is he sleeping on the couch? Why doesn't he want sex? You need to figure out why this is all happening before you rush in to a divorce. It doesn't sound like he's abusive, it just sounds like he's male. I'd definitely bring up the subject of counselling, tell him how dead serious you are about something changing or ending it and if that doesn't motivate him to want to work on it then leaving might be best. But if he's willing to try I'd give it a shot.

Answer 9

Hi, Well . . . this is hard for anyone. I recently got divorced. I was married for five years and i to have a four year old son. It was really hard for me to make that step in getting a divorce. I just wasn't happy he didn't show me any love and he was always out. I used to think I couldn't leave cause of my son. I didn't want my son to hate me when he was older. Let me tell you I got the divorce and my life has gotten so much better.
I used to think that I would never be happy with out him but I was wrong. I was so unhappy with him but scared to be alone. Just be strong and think about what you need if your not happy eventually your son will see this and he two will start to be unhappy. Good luck.

Answer 10

I am sorry to say that you need marriage counseling if this has been going on for some time. My x refused and things got worse as time went on instead of better no matter what I did. So unless you do something now expect to spend the rest of your life like this, or he may even leave you if he doesn't care. Ask yourself a question is this how you want your child to view marriage?