the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced is going to be destroyed..?

Question

I'm talking about my love/relationship with my gf.. my mom will and actually does EVERYTHING to stop me from "wasting my life with thos girl" - as she said... how is she going to do it? ANY ways - including keeping me closed at home.. and I just can run away, pack up my stuff and leave.. and my dad, who used to be ok with my relationship, came out to have the same opinion as my mom about the case...

I'm so depressed...
and my mom... she said that she knows that it'll hurt me,but while the time passed I'll forget about the girl and then everything will be ok, time will heal my broken heart..

I misspelled.. I CAN'T run away...

I'm 21 and my gf is 22. I'm not finabcially independent and have no enough money to move out and live on my own...

Answer 1

i'm not trying to be ignorant, just honest, so please don't be offended by this. But it seems to me that at 21 there shouldn't be any reason for you to NOT be financially independent. I guess i don't understand how you "can't just pick up and leave"? The more control you give your parents over your life, the more they will take. Many parents associate having to provide for their adult children as either an oppurtunity or a neccesity to take over other aspects of their life. What it sounds like you need to do is to tell your mom that while you apreciate her help, you actually do know what is best for you and that she needs to trust your decisions about your life. Next you need to get a job, or if you already have one, a better job. heck, even a part time and a full time job would be an option. Save every penny you can and find an apartment. If you and your girlfriend have been together for awhile and are ready to make the commitment, maybe you both need to save your money together and move in with each other. If your afraid of what your mom will say about that, just remember that it is YOUR life and YOUR happiness that is at stake. You have to make the decision tob let your mom control your life, or to become a reponsible adult and take care of your own destiny.

Answer 2

It is just something that you have to deal with. Parents sometimes have a very hard time coming to terms with their child being a lesbian, bisexual, or gay. Try to get them to go to a PFLAG meeting with you to talk to other parents about the issue. You can tell them that they may be able to stop this relationship at the moment but it doesn't change the fact that you are a lesbian (or bi, I don't know) and that will not change over time. But they don't have to be scared of it, just better informed. Plus you can get online so you can still talk to your girlfriend and they cannot watch you all the time.

Oh and don't feel bad about your age and not having the money to move out and life yet, it can be very hard if you don't have money saved up before hand. Bills for a place to live, food, heat/air, car payment, health care, lights, and so on can be overbearing. It's not like you just go get a job and move out. You may need your parents help right now, which is fine.

Answer 3

I'm not sure how homosexuality is viewed in the Japanese culture. You're 21 and an adult. Be the person that you are and was meant to be. There is always a chance that you will loose one of your loved ones. Either your gf or your family. If you choose your family, you will live with the regret of "what could have been" for the rest of your life. If you choose your girlfriend and possibly loose your parents. At least you are staying true to yourself and who you are. You will happy & in love with the woman that you want to be with. Maybe your family will eventually come around. That is a risk that we all have to take when we fall in love.

Answer 4

I guess what I want to know is how old you are. If you are under eighteen and living under your parents roof, you should honor their wishes, no matter how short sighted, wrong headed or bigoted. The bottom line is that your parents are worried about you, and are doing what they think is right. If your girlfriend is significantly older than you, they might have legitimate concerns.

If you are over eighteen, you can always move out and find your own way. Can you and your girlfriend move in together?

Good luck. People can be very threatened by gay relationships, so on some level, try to understand your parent's concerns.

Answer 5

Talk to your mom. Also, talk to your girlfriend and see if maybe you can stay with her until you get a job and can support yourself. Maybe you and her can move in together? At 21 you should have a job and be able to support yourself, and I'm not saying this to sound rude at all. As long as you live at home, your parents are going to try to control you. I would tell your mom that if she's going to attempt to ruin your relationship with the person you love, you will be moving out and not speaking to her and when she can accept you and your relationship with your girlfriend you will talk to her.

Answer 6

wait till you and your gf are 18.
then mommy dearest doesn't have a legal say in the matter. your going to be with who you want to regardless of age sex or race.
if you're commited to your partner, maybe the best thing to do is wait until you can leave mom's house for good.
i'm not encouraging you to run away or anything, but ask yourself why is you mom denying you the relationship?
when my mother found out that i'm a bisexual, she wasn't too pleased to put it mildly, but it was the gf she was pissed off about, not the fact that i had one.
ask your mother why she has such a problem.
try to reason with her about the issue.
blessed be and do what's in your heart.

Answer 7

Do you have a good, trustworthy male friend that can pose as a boyfriend for you? Maybe help you with sneaking around to be with your girlfriend? I know this is terribly dishonest to even suggest deceiving your parents. However, I know what it's like to want to be with someone and have your parents go to pieces over it. Sound like they are totally against you being a lesbian. I'm sorry you have to experience this. I'm not out to my parents at all and I'm 34 yrs old!!!! In time they will learn to at least accept that this is who you are. I know this doesn't help NOW but just know that it won't always be like this. Hugs to you, sweetie and I sure hope things get better for you.

Answer 8

tell your mom that she can do what she thinks she needs to, so as to prevent you from being with the person you feel for at this time, but let her also know that all this does is make you resent them, and one day, and you should wait because running away is not as easy of a soloution as it sounds, you will be able to leave and she will have no bearing over your life, and you are not even going to keep in contact with her.

Answer 9

You gotta let them know how much this affects you...ask them is your being depressed more important than them having your way....Im goin through the same with my mom...like your father she was fine and then she bacame a jehovahs witness and all aspects changed. But I told her that I would rather live happy on earth loving who I want then to live forever in paradise alone. She understands and asks that I keep my lesbianism outside her home. I respect that and shes happy. You gotta live for you and if being depressed is how they want you to spend the remainder your life ....you guys have some serious issues comming....I hope all goes well....

I need advise on my situation as welll...Help!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoomZDpRA3xFmYLaVduKepTsy6IX?qid=20060714233953AA5tVSi

Answer 10

Oh, Boo Hoo. You're 21 and still living at home. In that case either go by your parents's rules or leave. No one is holding you prisoner.