How can I tell my thinking to my parents? I feel like a lesbian...?

Question

Well, I'm 14 and a half years old girl, and at the past I always loved boys, they really shaked me with their handsome appearance, but this was until I have known my classmate, my friend. She moved away, but now I feel love for girls and my parents hate homosexuality. If I tell 'em, maybe they'll put me out from the house cause of this. Ever, since I dream "love-dreams", I have kissed only GIRLS, not boys, already.
How can I tell my parents this, my classmate what will do with me? I'm confused... I don't wanna that my friend feels bad cause of me, and others too. Please help me!
more, with me on msn: [e-mail]

When I told my friend, she didn't become angry and just she said, Stop! to me... And if a word my parents hear bout homosexuality, they started be angry and cover the world with f-words.. :'(

Answer 1

This doesn't necessarily mean you are a lesbian, although if you are you are! Most gay/lesbian friends I have said they new from an early age (5-6) they were "different". You might just be going through a teenage hormonal period but if you find out at some point this is who you are then you can't deny that. If that happens be up front and honest with family and hopefully you'll get nothing but love & support.

Answer 2

I went through something similar this time last year. Luckily I knew that my parents were completely tolerant of homosexuality so that made everything a whole lot easier. Remember there's no rush to come out, no matter how it might seem (last year I was completely panicked about coming out as soon as possible, but unless it's making you seriously unhappy keeping a secret - it was me - there's really no rush).

First of all, it's probably better to wait to tell your parents (and be sure that you aren't exaggerating their intolerance - again, I'm sorry if you're not, but I'm going off my own experience when I felt very worried when there was nothing to worry about regarding my parents) until you're completely sure about your sexuality. You haven't said how long you've felt like this. I waited six months, and although in my case it wasn't actually necessary, it was probably a good thing since when I came out it meant I was 100% sure that I was bisexual and that it wasn't just teenage hormones. Obviously, you're taking a risk telling your parents, so it's best not doing that until you're certain you're not going to backtrack and say actually, you are straight and it was just a phase - you'll save yourself a lot of worry that way.

One thing I would like to assure of is that your parents won't throw you out of the house, not at fourteen. I know it's an old cliche, but the reason that they would get angry about you being a lesbian is because they care about you and don't want you doing something they feel would hurt you. You don't say where their intolerance comes from. If it's religion, then there's not much you can do about that, except perhaps talk to their religious leader (depending on the religion, obviously) and if they're friendly, they might be able to help. I'm on very shaky ground here since religious intolerance isn't really something I've experience personally.

However, if they feel that homosexuality is wrong for other reasons (gay men are all paedophiles, it's against nature, they won't get grandchildren...) there's a wealth of information available on the Internet to prove them wrong. Email me at [e-mail] if you want any help finding it. I have lots of links!

Just remember that whatever people say, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel, and any bad situation you end up in will pass. (I can quote my ex-girlfriend again here... her mother did threaten to throw her out of the house. These days, I think they may even, oddly, be closer because of it.)

Good luck, and email me if you want any more help!

Answer 3

Hon, you may not like this, but you are too young to know who you are right now. Labeling yourself will not do any justice for you and may leave you even more confused, however, please know that sexuality has the ability to change throughout ones lifetime. You may be experimenting with your emotions AND your hormones and that's perfectly OK!! The only person you need to be honest with is yourself and the rest will follow suit when you are ready. I went through the same thing when I was 8 and didn't crawl out of the closet until 20 years later. I was finally ready to open my wings. Please don't deny yourself the opportunity that time can provide, let it unfold, your story is just beginning...

Best wishes!

Answer 4

Its funny it seems like only yesterday that when I turned 15 (the avererage age for feeling hormonal) I started a crush on my friend from school. Before this I had been with some boys but it never felt right, I even got inches away from kissing a boy and it just was not right. I had decided to say something to my friend and had got myself all prepared she invited me over for Video night. It got late and I finally plucked up the courage although she seemed like there was something she wanted to say but didnt, instead she went to the loo. I sat down at the kitchen table and waited about to say it when she came back. She came into the room went over to the sink and said there was something she needed to tell me. She said 'I really need to tell you something... I have been seeing A (for confidentiality sake am keeping that simple - she was another of our friends) for the past year. I actually thought I was going to be sick! It hurt a lot as well as being a shock when I thought she was straight. I decided to tell her that I had feelings for her too that evening. Im just writing this to say that it is very normal at your age to go through these feelings it is now not too young but just leave it with your parents for a while as if you think you may have a problem with them at your age you dont want to be thrown out. It maybe that in a couple of years if you are still feeling the same you will be able to approach them with it and have more choices as you are older... sorry to be a bore but remember schooling is important as you will want to finish so you get a good job and be able to support yourself then you will have the freedom to be who you are. My heart really goes out to you and remember you are not alone there are many people who feel the same way. If you decide to tell them it may take a while for them to get used to the idea but they should come around if they love you lots (sounds like they do too :-)) Dont ignore your feelings they are your only guide in life we can only give you advice but I would definately leave your friend especially if they are far away long relationships are difficult. Definately find help or guidance I phoned a gay hotline and managed to find the nearest group to me and asked a trusted friend to go with me. Good luck

Answer 5

You may be a lesbian, bisexual, or straight and just curious... or questioning how you feel, which is natural in your youth. Try doing more reseach on this issue and think about how you feel. Are your feelings towards other women romantic? sexual? Can you see yourself in a longterm relationship with another girl? Are you still attracted to men? I'll link some good web-sites with information for you to review. You could also go to a GLBTQ youth group in your area where you could talk openly about your feeling, this issue, and find support. There is also info linked on how to talk to your parents about this, PLAG stands for parents of lesbians and gays.

PFLAG: http://www.pflag.org/Getting_Support-Coming_Out.coming_out.0.html
Youth Group: http://www.youthresource.com/about/youth_group.htm

Answer 6

If you yourself aren't one hundred percent certain, then don't say anything. Yes, you are young and you might be a lesbian, or you might be bisexual, or just bi-curious, and goodness you maybe straight. Only you know that and just because you dream of kissing girls doesn't mean you are lesbian. Many women fantasize of sex with the same gender that are straight. Just wait and one day you will know the truth.

Answer 7

You cant say that your a lesbian until you actually been with a women, and even then you might not be.It might just be a sexual fantasy,I would not tell your parents until your old enough.Wait to see what happens, you might change you mind one day and decide that you don't really like girls..

Answer 8

you are experimenting that is all.... you will grow out of it..1: do six packs turn you on? 2: you say boys "shaked me with their appearance" so you are not lesbian... when you are 16.. start dating some boys.. and the sex will blow your mind... much better than with any woman......guaranteed....

Answer 9

properly, i imagine you perhaps yet when your mom and father are expertise then you definitely ought to easily tell them you purely recognize whats excellent and if something doesnt experience excellent like being with a guy then you definitely favor to be elementary with your self ad do not problem about your mom and father recommendations.

Answer 10

i say either find another place to stay or wait until you are financially secure and have already moved out incase of your parents throwing you out. i honestly hate suggesting staying in the closet, but in this case, you're better staying for awhile.