If you felt you were being discriminated against at a store. Would you go off on that person or let it go.?

Question

This pass Friday that happen to me and my grandmother, I felt so much rage and anger that I made a big deal of it at the store, the manager apologized, but to me that didnt matter. My grandmother got mad at me for makeing a scene and made me wait for her outside. I dont think I was wrong in expression my anger

Answer 1

there's nothing wrong with expressing your anger, but you may have gone about it the wrong way. i certainly appreciate your recognizition of discrimination and i too would have spoken up about it...just maybe more discreetly than you did. you have to remember your grandmother likely grew up in a time where people didn't really confront discrimination head on individually. people likely made their purchase, but spread the information by word of mouth which can do major damage to a person's business.

i applaud you for standing up for your grandmother and in her way, she's probably proud of you too. if you haven't done so, apologize to her for causing a scene in the store but also sit down and talk with her about the experience. she'll probqably share an experience or two with you and you 'll have a better understanding of her actions. keep your head up.

Answer 2

Well, since I don't know what was said or done that offended you so much it's hard to say. Chances are that while it may have made you feel better to vent your anger, it did nothing to change the mind of the person who offended you. Often times in the feeble minds of people like that, rants such as what you displayed in the store, only prove their theories, albeit malformed, of how inferior you may be and nothing that you say or do will change their deep-seated bigotry. In other words, they're not worth your time and you shouldn't dignify their behavior with a response.

As for your grandmother, it appears that she is a very classy woman and prefers to leave with her dignity in tact rather than giving response to other people's inapporpriate behavior, over which you have to realize you have no control. I would say, follow your grandmother's example. Don't forget, she's lived longer than you and has probably had, unfortunately, more experience with this type of thing than you and has learned over the years what I explained to you above. I'm not saying it's easy to just walk away from things that upset you but in the end, it's a far more dignified response.

Answer 3

Well you spoke with the manager and he heard your complaint... after that you should have let it go and let the manager do his job and deal with the ones who discriminated against you. Think about it... what could he really do at that moment besides apologize... any good manager is not gonna reprimand their employees in front of everyone... in fact larger stores have legal policies about this.... However i believe the reason your Grandmother got upset is because when you continued and made a scene you made yourself look just as bad as the person who discriminated you...

Answer 4

The difference between maturity and immaturity is the response to an irritating situation.

In a mature person, the manager would be summoned, the facts (not the spin - just the facts) would be laid out, and a solution asked for. The response from the manager would be professional and courteous.

In an immature person, a tantrum in front of the offending clerk, manager, and other custormers and employees would escalate into a shouting match with the immature person making all kinds of threats and the manager doing the best he could to move the situation away from the front of the store.

Which one were you involved in?

Answer 5

It would depend. In most cases it's one employee acting out and everyone else is aware that what's happening is wrong and the perpetrator is just an a$$. In that case it might be best to think, wow this guy's a jerk and move on rather than make a scene.
However if it's the store's attitude as a whole there's nothing wrong with standing up to them. My Jewish friend went off on a Piggly Wiggly when the manager told her it's not their policy to carry Kosher foods because it's too ethnic and the store didn't want THAT kind of element! But she did this only after she found out it was the businesses policy not just one jerk.

Answer 6

Well...it depend on situation...One time I was discriminated...I was really angry and I made a scandal and went to the director of a school (I was discriminated in school when I was 13 by schoolmates and teacher) and reported on them. Then I change this school to normal one.
I think I was right.
Every time when somebody try to offense me with some kind of discrimination- I'm trying to react! In stores I'm calling manager. I know that he is gonna apologize but also - rude salesman will have problems. But you should be sure that it is a discrimination and you R not mistaken. Other way 0 it is just a scandal and it is not good

Answer 7

You can't always trust your feelings; they are yours and they are subjective. Making a scene is seldom effective, unless you just want an audience to watch you vent. Staying calm and reporting other's wrong behaviors to their managers is a better way to effect change and justice.

Sometimes when we have a "sore spot" we are over-sensitive to inadvertent and unintentional actions by others...I think it's important to be sure that insult was intended before reacting. A good way to do that is to repeat whatever comment was made, and ask if they meant to be rude or whatever. Many times you will find that no insult was intended at all.

Expressing your anger can be done in a more effective and mature way; please remember to respect your grandmother's feelings as much as you want others to respect yours.

Peace!
aunt cryllie

Answer 8

When I feel discriminated against at a store or restaurant, I call people on it. Actually, I call people on their ignorance all the time. That's just me though.

I feel, that to really make a change you have to look ignorance in the face and call it what it is. Be it racism, discrimination, sexism, whatever, we have to call it what it is and get people to realize that generalizing others into one group does not work.

Obviously though I am neither violent nor loud and obnoxious when I call others on it. I simply look the person in the eyes and gently, politely ask "is your manager available, I'd like to speak to them please." Then, once safely in an office or a corner, I let them have it.

I learned from my mom that if we take things laying down, nothing will change for us. We have to take action against discrimination as it happens. When others see us taking action and causing change, then others stand up for themselves as well. This, in turn causes a more rapid change. Nothing would've happened if MLK, Cesar Chavez, and all the rest never said a word.

Because others took charge of a situation in the past, we have changes now...it is currently up to us.

Answer 9

If you were truly being discriminated against and there was no doubt about it then you have a right to say something but your grandmother is right that you shouldn't make a scene. It is hard to control anger but necessary if you want to really get your point across and have people take it to heart.

Answer 10

Let it go and don't buy anymore.
Or do something better next time.
Go with the salesman and make lot of questions about an expensive product and make him believe you will buy but after he spent all his time on you, just say NO THANKS
Hahaha
That's what I did in a store in US.
I went to certain store and the girl (mexican as I am) discriminated to me for being Mexican from the other side of border. I made her questions but she did not pay me attention but the white person walked into store and she almost kissed hit feet. After he left I made questions about a very expensive product and made her believe I was gonna buy but...then I said NO THANKS

HAHAHAHA