I don't know what to do!! Help, please??

Question

First of all, I'm a guy and I like this guy. We are both 14. I don't know what to do, I like him a lot but I know it just ins't going to happen. I trying to let it go, but I can't. Itz drivin me crazy. When I think I am over him, I hear his name and it is like nothing has changed. I feel that I want to be with him, but I can't and I don't want to be hurt and it is affecting my relationship with my girlfriend. I didn't ask for this and I don't know what to do, what do I do. I feel that being with him is so right, but in my mind it feels like it is so wrong. Help!!

Answer 1

talk to your girlfriend and see what she thinks on the matter. then talk to the guy and see what he has to say. but before you talk to either of them make sure you do some long hard thinking about what you want. do you want to be with her or do you want to be with him. once you have thought about the matter try and be prepared for anything. she can be cool with what you are feeling and suggest that you test the water see what he thinks and see if he would be interested in you. or she may flip and not want to talk to or see you again. the same goes for him. he may be interested in you as well and may want to hang out with you and take things from there or he may find the thought even repulsive and not want to talk to you again. these are all possibilities. like i said before you do anything make sure you do some major thinking on the matter so you don't make a larger mistake than you are ready for.

Answer 2

Is he gay or shown ANY signs of being attracted to you?

A lot of energy can be wasted and many good things can be missed while pursuing the unattainable.

Fact check, you are bisexual.
Your hormones are raging.
If there are no signs or returned affection at all, chances are this guy will rat you out as qweer (testosterone teens are seldom gay/bi allies as ratting you out will seem to make them more masculine...part of the "protest too much" complex)
He is a fantasy you see every day and you have put him on a pedistal. -kinda a tiger beat poster boy


Just purposely look for flaws.
-hang around someone long enough and you can find plenty if you look for it
Whack off to something else.
Find the good in somebody else.

Dude, its puppy love and its cute. sorry but it is. You'll outgrow it. Just don't do anything that'll have people talking negatively or do something stupid that people will remember.

Wish you luck

Answer 3

1. Ignore the idiots
2. You have a girlfriend because it is expected and you have always just gone along with what everyone expected. You have never seriously considered what you yourself want.
3. You believe that what you are feeling toward him is wrong because you have been taught by others that it is wrong. You have also accepted that non-critically. (this is not your fault, our society teaches people not to think for themselves, it terrifies the people in charge when we do).

If I were you (and my terminal degree is not counseling, so this is not medical advice) I would sit down in a quiet place (we've lived in NYC, I know there aren't many, but find one) take several deep breaths and ask myself the following list of questions, answering myself honestly, and writing down my answers on a piece of paper:

1. Is my attraction to the other boy strictly emotional - or is there a sexual component (yes the prudes will tell you that you don't have sexual feelings yet, that is **** and everyone really knows that underneath)?

2. Is this the first time this has happened, or was there that special male friend when I was 10 or 11 that seemed closer to me than best friends did to most of our friends, but who drifted away eventually -- or toward whom the special feelings stopped?

3. HONESTLY, do other males cause me to get as hot as females do? Hotter? Do I HONESTLY think that boys are hot? Can I HONESTLY tell when they are sexy? (not what does my family/religion/the guy next door think/tell me should make me hot, but what do I get hot from)

4. Do I get hot for my girlfriend? Do I "want" her, really, underneath; or would I rather that part just stopped and she was my friend?

I would go through my answers, and I would be honest about what the answers mean. If there is a sexual part to your feelings for him and you have had very special friends before when you were too young to really have more intense feelings, and if you think boys are hotter than girls and the you really would rather the g/f was just a friend -- then you need to seriously consider what that means.

Likewise if you get as hot for boys as for girls, but no hotter -- what does that mean?

Don't let people or society bully you into not thinking about and critically evaluating things for yourself.

You are WONDERFUL, just as you are -- whether you are gay, bi, or straight --- and as a person who dealt with this as a kid, it is so much nicer to really know where you stand at 14, rather than 24 -- whether you can tell anyone or not. It allows you to grow up normal for what you are.

And, whatever that is, you are loved and you are the BEST.

Believe in yourself. Email me if you need to talk.

Kindest thoughts,

Reyn
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 4

Your hormones are racing at your age and you don't know whether you are coming or going. Relax, it will all be gone by the time you are sixteen. So you like your mate, great. I loved my best friend for 47 years and never kissed him. So what, he would probably have kicked my ar*se if I had tried. I have been married for 39 years with children and grand children. You can love your friend, it does not mean you have to sh*ag him or anything. Take care and remember - relax.................

Answer 5

if your girl and you have a good relationship (ie: you're both happy with each other) then stay with her. but if you two aren't happy together, or in love with each other, then i say drop the relationship. if the guy you have the hots for is gay or bi too, then try for it. but do it slowly. get to be his friend first, if you're not already. then go in for the kill. if he's straight, then just try to let ago a bit more.

"Love's a loaded gun, and it shoots to kill" - Alice Cooper's "Love's a Loaded Gun"

Answer 6

Not tryin to dismis your feelings but you have no business thinking about being with anyone...I know yiou have those feelings but you gotta be easy with this...your too young and this could damage you emotionaly....ease back and wait and think things through....you'll be happy you did

Answer 7

you're 14 yrs old, slow down and think it through, when in doubt do nothing.

Answer 8

slow down...let whatever happen..you're young..

Answer 9

tell him and your girlfriend