My boyfriend doesn't show appreciation for all the things I do for him, financially and otherwise. Advise?

Question

He lives with me, he doesn't contribute financially due to the fact that he previosuly worked part time, made limited $$. He starts a new job in a couple weeks that will bring in roughly the same amount as before. He will use my car at his disposal when available. For example he'll use my car to visit friends/family, I'll give him some money so he is able to have a nice time. He'll tell me he'll be back in a couple hours or so, then WE can go out together. Then he doesn't come home until 3am. No calls to let me know. So when I confront him, he'll shutdown, get defensive, and have an awful attitude with me for a couple days. Meanwhile he'll still use my car, still run around town with my money. Mind you, I love him dearly, and don't necessarily want to break up with him immediatly over this. I just don't know how I can talk with him about this without him inevidably turning into a turd. Any advise? Please?

The advise I'm getting is very helpful. It really is. Part of me feels I may need to break things off with him. The problem I have is I care so much for him. We both care a lot for each other, and have been through a lot together... It's not a constant behavior of his, but it happens too frequently. One major factor I've left out is that he was cheating on me up until a little over one month ago. I know this all sounds just awful, and sometimes it's not as easy as just dumping him.
There is always a story behind every couple... and with all the crao he's put me through for the past year... we still care so much for each other. I'm starting to wonder though if this is just a relationship of convenience for him? I just don't know what to do... We've had discussions of us having a future together, we really work well together, as odd as that sounds. He's just a mess is all.. and unfortunatly I've let his decisions effect my life. I'll have to talk with him... again.

Answer 1

Get a REAL MAN. He thinks he is still living at home.

Answer 2

He's mooching off of you, and won't quit, he has no reason to. My advice to you...kick him out. He has no drive to be a "real man" and make an honest living. He'll continue this because you'll let him. It's obvious that he's immature. Don't feel bad about turning into a turd...he's using your car and your money. He needs to understand that you're not his momma. Either cut him off from the car and the money, or just plain dump him. As it is now, you're working just for his partying time. If he gets mad, then he's just mad. Slavery has been over for years and years now. If you keep on like you're going, then he'll demand more and more from you. I've seen this time and time again. This is a classic example of being used. Alot of guys have a "girlfriend" just to finance their partying and for transportation....just like you....because they're too lazy or too immature to get or keep a decent job. Don't fall into this rut.......dump the mooch today. Best of luck to you..........

Answer 3

I always think the best way letting someone know is by telling him.. Talk to him about this and tell him u r not worried about the money nor the car..and that u just want to feel appriciated ..Tell him that lately he doesnt give u much attention and ask him straight if he still has the same feelings for you.. Also that you want to spend more time with him and that lately his attitude towards you has changed to the worse..

Answer 4

I'd say you should read your post here to see where it is YOU are keeping what you claim you DON'T want from him, going, in this relationship....Apparently, something's in it for you somewhere...maybe you feel you don't deserve any better, and think that this is the only way you can keep a guy, or friend for that matter. All I know is, if you lay down, people will walk all over you, usually, 80% of the time in many cases. Good luck and take care.

Answer 5

Either dump him or sign a slave contract.