please help me i have a boyfriend problem?

Question

i have been with him for 2 years, he isnt goodlooking but had a nice personality. for the past year he has been very possessive to the point he doesnt even like me going the see my mum and dad. He gets jealous of my kids and doesnt like me having friends. I think he loves me too much but i have really gone off him and no longer find him attractive in any way. He has just decorated my bathroom and loaned me money to do it. i would feel so guilty finishing with him and dont want to hurt him. plus it would be awkward cos he lives across the road. what can i do

Answer 1

i would say that if he is controlling you and not letting you have your space and are no longer attracted to him anymore. Tell him you need to break up with him because he is living your life and telling you what to do. I would wait a little while since he practically just did you bathroom for you. But after that tell him that you are old enough to make decisions by yourself and that he should not be telling you who you should be hanging out with and weather or not you should have friends.

Answer 2

*Alarm Bells ringing*
I see Red Flags all over.
Did you say he gets jealous of your kids???
And whats with the possessive part??
Boy !! I guess you are pitching your sights a little too low for comfort. Desperate Housewife, huh???

Now, I am going to be really slow and tell you what you will need to think on....
You will definately need to like the person you are planning to live with.
If you are sticking around with a man that is 'this' possesive, what you you think your kids are going to think about you, and themselves??
If he loaned you money, that does NOT mean you are his bonded labourer. ( And I thought that was abolished!!! ) You pay him back. Period.
If he stays right across the street, then rent your current house out and move out to a different city or State.

Now let me tell you what a man thinks when he is been possessive. I have been there and done that. He is just happy that he has you at the finger tips more like a Remote Control. He is happy that he has you on a leash. And you are fuelling his pride when you say okay to it and continue to live with it.

If he is this possesive which is what every MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig ) will be, then I think you should not wait for even a day. Start Moving out, Today.

Treat yourself fair and Set a good example for your kids.
You owe it to them.
All the best.

Answer 3

Some of the things you said he's done are signs of future physical abuse. That's not always a guarantee, but something to be careful about. I would say it's a good idea to take a step back and evaluate what this relationship is worth to you. Do you want to loose a relationship with family and friends for one person? Do you want your kids to see that and think it's okay for them to follow the same path? Also, the loaning you money can be a way of saying "you owe me, you can't leave me now". Be very careful about this.

Answer 4

hm. well I would definitely break up with him cause I'm not into the possessive thing. You could give him his money back or however much it cost for the bathroom. Or you could always try talking to him about but that doesn't usually work. but ya never know. If he really loves you he will understand what your problem is. Or you can ask him to just take a break and not see each other for a while.

You can always get a restraining order.

Hope I helped =)

Answer 5

I think the fact that you are sharing your difficult circumstances should tell you that you should end this relationship or seek to remedy the problem areas.

The key to your decision making surely must be that any man who is jealous of your own children (and parents) needs to be immediately dumped.

Your children are the most important people in your life, and any partner should be supportive of that fact. I would very concerned that if you tolerate his behaviour now that it would be a signal to him for further controlling behaviour (which may extend towards your children). You must not allow that to happen.

Any concerns about his proximity and loans are just social embarrassments that pass with time, and are really insignificant when it comes to you and your children's long term well being.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

Take a break. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years recently felt like we needed to take a break and we did. She said I was being to possessive and I felt like she only wanted to spend time with her friends. It took less than 2 weeks to before we resolved the problems. now we're back together, living together and are probably the happiest we've ever been with each other. See what a break does, just make sure you guys talk about what you think went wrong just saying I need a break isn't going to be good enough.

Answer 7

Sounds like you may need to talk this out with him. I'm not the greatest with advise... but I think if things can be talked out in a calm manner, and he understands that his world cannot be ALL YOU, and your world cannot be ALL HIM...
Or possibly tell him that you'll take him with you to see friends & family for the next couple visits... maybe then he'll see there is nothing to worry about when you're out & about.
This is all pending you want to try to work things out.
If you don't want to go through all that work, and you really have lost all attraction toward him physically as well as emotionally, then you may want to think about talking with him about how his recent behavior is changing how you see him, and you're starting to become less attracted to him due to it. Ask him if he is willing to work it out... if he isn't willing to give a little, and if you cannot work things out... then I think you know what the solution is.
The awful break-up. Even if he did assist you with some redecorating... you can always make arangements to re-pay him.
Sounds like a sticky situation. I hope you can work it out together.
Good Luck!

Answer 8

Your being selfish you need to look at what he has to offer from the inside, beauty is only skin deep. Sounds like a really nice guy.
But in turn you need to discuss with him how you feel about your parents and kids. That is not fair to them and you need to voice that to him. As for him living across the street you knew that before you got involved with him. So suck it up and either talk with him or tell him it is over and repay him the money back.

Answer 9

I think you should have a long talk with your man.Tell him how u feel about him acting like that..explain that u do love him but if he continues like that u r going to leave him because he doesnt let you be yourself.. Be honest with him and tell him that you are thinking of not staying with him for long because of the irrational way he acts.. Assure him that he has nothing to worry about and that you are not going to cheat on him because thats what he probably fears..Do tell him about your kids and parents that they are important to you and that if he cannot see that sand support you then he should find somone else..Give another chance to your relationship letting him know it's the last one..

Answer 10

First, communicate this matter with ur bf.
tell him that u dont have "the feeling" anymore. Discuss it and try to get the answer (if you still love him).
Second, if still doesnt work, sorry... you have to ended the relationship.
Sooner is better.

Remember this: You have to be fair with your heart! Dont deny it!