still for married people only please?

Question

we ve been married for 3 weeks
do i have to talk to him about the way i would like him to love me?
actually he doesn't give me enough time
looks like he has many other important things to do
i am shy to talk about it
i tried to use bodylanguage but didn't work

i love him still but i started to feel hurt when we finish doing this

it hurts me when he ignores my feelings

i need help from an experienced person

do you think this will hurt him?

do you think this will hurt him?

Answer 1

Yes, you have to talk to him. Being married doesn't make him any more a mind reader than he was a month ago -- you still have to TELL him what you want and what you need.

The way to do this successfully, without hurting him, is NOT to bring it up as something he isn't doing, but rather to bring it up as something you'd like. Consider the difference between these two ways of bringing up a subject:

"I HATE it when you don't spend enough time with me. You have to quit doing those other things and pay attention to ME."

"I LOVE it when you spend time with me. Can we think of some ways to spend more time together?"

Get the idea?

Something else: one of the key difficulties in communication between men and women is that women tend to communicate because they need to share their emotions and express their feelings. Men communicate because they need to solve problems and take actions. So if you are just sharing your emotions, he isn't going to get it; he's going to assume you're asking him to do something, and if it isn't clear WHAT that is, he's going to get frustrated and ignore you.

Use this knowledge to help get him motivated to solve YOUR problem -- without making him think that HE is the problem.

Answer 2

communication is a very important aspect of every relationship. You have been married for a short 3 weeks and this is already starting. Dont let this go anylonger tell him what is bothering you and that communication is very important for you. I hope you knew this when you got married. People change when they are married they are no longer after you trying to please you on everyway. He's got you now so he wont be the same. Alot of people think it will be the same. Wait until you all have children. Talk about all this stuff. which you should have before you said I Do. That way you know where he stands on the issues that are most important to you. I hope I was of some help.

Answer 3

If you are not able to maturely communicate with your partner, you may not be able to fix the problem. Verbal communication is better because there is no misunderstanding.

Women play too much into "guessing" or "mind reading" because they don't feel confident in telling their partner what they need in a relationship. You are setting yourself up for failure if you do not tell him what you need.

This should have been established before you got married, although some men change the second you marry them. If he does not respond to your needs, the marriage is insupportable and you need to move on.

Answer 4

The best possible advice anyone can give you is to be open and communicate with your partner. The key to any healthy marriage is open and honest communication. You were comfortable enough with this person to marry him, why is it you are shy about expressing your physical needs and wants? Many women "come out of their shells" with time. But, if your needs are not met in the bedroom, you may find yourself bored with other aspects of the marriage unneccessarily. There are numerous options to help you out! You can tell in words in a playful manner what you would like, role play, point out things in an erotic movie you would enjoy, ask him to tell you first if there are things he would like for you to do (maybe he wants the same things but is too shy!). Bring home toys and say you want to experiment if that's what you want! Most guys are up for most anything to please you, and if your husband is truly in love, he will find nothing wrong with your asking for more time! Men love to please!!! And, when he does please you, TELL HIM!!! They enjoy compliments and praise too! Good luck and good lovin' :)

Answer 5

You are not going to get no where. If you keep backing out, and staying shy from it. You need to speak up, and let him know what is on your mind. Don't say nothing, cause nothing not going to do **** either.
When he gets mad, don't baby him. I done that, and I wise up too. Let him have his fit, and he will get over it later. Commucation is very important in a marriage. God gave you lips. Use them to speak and be heard. He is your hubby not your boss.

Answer 6

Men are not psychic. We will not know what you want if you do not tell us. If you tell us, there is every chance that we will do it. This is true in every respect of the relationship, not just the bedroom.

Men like to be successful providers and succesful mates. If you tell us how to succeed, most of us will like it.

Answer 7

i have been married for 9 years this year and you are still newlyweds so do not be so hard on your self .he is trying to get used to it to .but if makes you feel better youi can go and see a marrage counslor

Answer 8

You need to tell him how you feel and should have known him better and discussed this prior to getting married, I am alomost certain it didn't just start :) Best of luck to you

Answer 9

How can anyone know what someone wants unless they speak up. Be real, talk to your husband, that's both of your marriage!

Answer 10

old lord, give it some more time, i have that proglem after 27yrs married