2006-07-15 08:03:39 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Sports ➔ Baseball
Does the parrot play baseball?
2006-07-15 09:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by olelefthander 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
with a nice chianti. :)
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
2006-07-15 08:10:27 · answer #2 · answered by Lauralanthalasa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grilled Parrot salad always hits the spot.
2006-07-15 08:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by PANDABEAR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an old woman bought a parrot from a bar. she took it home and it constantly cussed. she went back to the bar and asked the bartenter how to make it stop cussing. The bartender said to grab it by the legs and swing it over her head a few times.
When her pastor came to the house to visit, the bird began cussing. The old lady grabbed the bird by its legs and whipped it around over her head. she threw the bird back in its cage.
The bird screeched out, "awk, feel the f***ing breeze."
2006-07-15 08:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would marinate him, after removing the feathers, of course, in a spicy southwestern style sauce, to remove the gamey taste. i would then scewer him and grill him over low heat for roughly 3 minutes on each side. baste with remaining marinade and serve with rice pilaf and asparagus spears. maybe a nice merlot also, like kendall jackson's vintage reserve, about $17.00 a bottle.
2006-07-15 08:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy I know that one.. FOUND a nice Green one a number of years ago.. Well after about a week, it started talking WOW, What a mouth.., tryed everything to stop it.. I ended up giving it away.. Never though of eating it, guess you cook it just like chicken, THANKS , if I ever find another one I 'm going to , eat it... ROB
2006-07-15 08:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it somewhat is hilariousI i wager the moral of the tale is it really is more suitable useful to understand even as to close up,than be plucked,trussed, then have your neck shoved up.........and finally end up in a freezer. O.M.G. and that i have hen excellent right here on my plate! Your timing is impeck able!
2016-12-10 10:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use yankee money to go to a diner.
put a red sox in his mouth.
tell him who's his padre
then brewer him
and finally
A.eat him like a indian
b.take him to the mariners
c. slaughter him so he'll become an angel
or
d. come on pirate! make him walk the plank!
2006-07-15 08:23:55 · answer #8 · answered by Naty:Co-Emperor Has Returned 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope the parrot eats you first.
2006-07-15 08:31:13 · answer #9 · answered by J-Far 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grilled with a side of fries, salad with Bleu Cheese and a nice bottle of Chianti
2006-07-15 08:08:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋