-He hasn't kept any of his promises.
-He lied about having money in savings (none in savings, no retirement, no life insurance, owned nothing, he & his adult son were living with his mother when I met him).
-His son's behavior changed drastically after we were married. I now know enough about this lazy 20's something kid to know he did lots of bad things (hurt animals & elderly relative) as a teenager & is likely a sociopath.
-He blames his son's criminal activities on our government (He is naturalized US citizen, his son is here on a green card). They both say our laws are wrong.
-He works his own business, sleeps in afternoon, no regular hours.
-I work 2 jobs, do all housework (groceries, dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc) plus all outside work (mowing lawns, shoveling snow, the trash, auto maintainence, etc)
-He sits in his lounge chair watching TV while I do all the housework.
-He earns 13-15,000 a year. I earn 4 times as much. I carry all our medical & dental insurance.
Stay OR Go?
2006-07-15 07:57:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
--Dated 2 years, married for 3
--He came up with a large sum of money to put into buying land & building house (I sold my house & did same with profit. After the wedding his mother said the loan she had given him was now our wedding gift - he told me it was some of his savings!)
--His son behaved himself & was at college during the 2 years we dated.
--I kicked his son out of house 2 years ago
--Have been asking him to go to marriage counseling with me for past 2 years
--Now in counseling on my own
--Rebuilding my savings accts
--Waiting for my son's deployment in Iraq to end - 4 weeks to go.
--cleaning out the house so can sell it & recoup some of my investment
--Have moved a large share of my belongings to a storage locker
--Will miss my sister-in-law and her family, plus my mother-in-law (she doesn't know he lied to me about the money to buy the land. haven't the heart to tell her - she is 89) All very nice, hardworking people who don't understand why my husband is the way he is.
2006-07-15 08:53:25 · update #1
I would go. A marriage is a unity and should be done together if you are not getting any support I would leave as fast as I could. There is no reason why you should put up with the crap that you are putting up with. This is the U.S. and if his son cannot follow our rules then he needs to go. If he is in his 20's why is he still at home and not working and living somewhere else? Good luck. Stand up for yourself as a women. You already know that you do not need a man to survive. I am going through something similar.
2006-07-15 08:07:23 · answer #1 · answered by Wendy B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break that ball and chain, you got wrap around your leg there. Go, just pack all your things and leave. He is not worth staying, and have to bear all that **** from him. His son troubles are on his son. The boy is not five or four years old.
He got his own mind to make what choices there are to make. But the father wants to sweep the mess under the rug. Just looking to blame anything for his son trouble.
The slave days are over with, and you need to find your own freedom. Don't let him and his son over run you. Which they are doing now. They are playing you like a fool. More like a puppet on a string.
Let him keep his preaching to him own self. Who cares what the goverment will do. If he don't like it. Then him and his son can go back. His son needs to be imported. Or he is going to be another serial killer. We already got enuf killers already.
You are their doormat, the maid, and you need to stand up and head out.
2006-07-15 15:32:57 · answer #2 · answered by kygl28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he didn't break any marriage vows but youre clearly not happy and could do a lot better on your own. I woudl't divorce him, but I would tell him how you feel and then move out for a while and see if he is wiling to shape up. Also make sure you keep your money to yourself, just in case, it does sound like he's getting a good deal here.
2006-07-15 15:04:50 · answer #3 · answered by stripedbook 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You listed all the cons against him. You are a smart person, if you still with him must be for something. List the good things about him and balance it out. Then decided if you'll be happier with or without him. Based on that make your decision. the answer is in your heart.
2006-07-15 15:08:20 · answer #4 · answered by 4thebest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love and slavery do not mix, if you are asking the question why are you with theses loosers? It seems that you are a very tolerant woman and have allot to offer, get out of this mess and take your time with the next, you see where you went wrong and what people are capable of hiding, get away make yourself happy and ba a slave to no one. best wishes!
2006-07-15 15:14:22 · answer #5 · answered by cbb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I live with you too? No seriously you are being treated like a slave and that is no way to live. Relationships are about give and take and you are doing too much giving. Best of luck to you.
2006-07-15 15:06:20 · answer #6 · answered by Scott B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay if you are a masochist with absolutely no self-respect whatsoever. Go if you care about yourself and think you deserve better. Pretty simple.
2006-07-15 15:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not only should you go but why did you marry him in the first place. definitely leave. quit being used
2006-07-15 15:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When did you realize this? You should have researched this before you walked down the aisle.
2006-07-15 15:05:43 · answer #9 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding? You know the answer!!!! Get outta dodge fast.
2006-07-15 15:03:07 · answer #10 · answered by ljean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋