how much space does he need? i love him?

Question

my ex who i split up with becus of my stressful situation and i dumped him (i just wasnt me) is now saying he doesnt know whether he wnats me or in what way saying he is confused and feels safe at the distance he is now because he feels he cant have his heart torn ag. still finds me v. attractive and fancies me and says he cares for me he says when he thinks about what i did last month he doesnt feel he loves me but when he takes that month away he loves me more than anything in the world. i asked him if he wanted to cutit off completely and he sed we know so much about each other he could never do that. he sed he wants to foget the month of hell but doesnt know whether he can at . i told him i want to work at the relationship and he said he camt at the moment. he saying he is scared of this happening again and that i have driven him to a place where he wont get hurt he feels safe there. hes got stress at work. he saying he cant offer me what i wnat at the moment. have i lost him?

not bull been to see him he very down.

someone who love shim as much a si do is good for him. iddo anything for him.

said he wnats to wnat me. cant at the moment.

Answer 1

sounds like a bunch of bullshiz....forget about him

Answer 2

lets see, you know each other really well, you went through one month of hell and in the process, threw him out. This sounds like you are leaving something out that you are not sharing.

But any way.

I would say that if you want him back, stop stalking!

Set up dates for public meetings like at a resturant to talk. Call, meet for dinner so that we can talk about this? he says ok (hopefully) then get your best drop dead look and go there. Only call a couple of days to confirm the restuarant meeting, even if its McDonalds, its a date. The neutral ground will make him feel more comfortable then a dinner where things will remind him of the things that have made things where they currently are. Although expect a "well, you did this to me, and you did that, etc."

Once he gets on a roll to talk, shut up and listen! REALLY REALLY LISTEN. No matter how much to hurts to hear it, this is how he feels. Yes it may be a dead horse kicked but let him air it out.

Ok then what?

Do it again, if he wants to keep meeting and communicating, great, if not, he maybe pouring gas on the bridge and getting ready to burn it. If you are really sorry for what you did, sorry means it wont happen again. What have you done to try to prevent this happening again?

You will find most responses will be just forget it and move on, he has. If you really really are sincere and will bust your gonads to make this work, then you know what you need to do. If not then its time for you to move on as well.

Simple as that.

Answer 3

I would say its time to move on because sometimes the closeness just can't be recovered and it would in all likely hood be best for the both of you. An old saying comes to mind that too much water has flowed underneath the bridge , meaning just to much to forget has happened , so for this reason I'd move on and consider it one of those things that just didn't work out. Easier said than done of course but things will work themselves out and you'll find your sole mate who's out there somewhere just waiting for ya. When that happens , and it will happen you'll look back and realize that things worked out best for you. Until then keep your chin up and don't be hard on yourself and all will be Ok.

Answer 4

Honey ... it's kind of like trying to put the paste back in the tube!

I don't think you can really take that month away. It's always going to be there.

There must have been some reason you took the action of breaking up. You need to figure out of that reason (or reasons) are still valid. I sense they are.

Sometimes we break up and don't really understand why. There is usually something deep inside us that causes it ... and that "something" is not likely to change.

Go forward with your life, honey, and let him move forward with his. If you put things back together, I fear you will merely be delaying the inevitable.

Sorry this happened to you ... but it's time to move on.

Answer 5

u haven't lost him he just wants time to relax because of how you behaved with him but don't worry if he really loves he'll be there for you so cool down sweety just give him some time off ok!both of you will see how much you miss eachother its just a matter of time!all the best sweety one more thing when he is around let him feel loved & let him know what u did was wrong & you are sorry!

Answer 6

it must be the pot conversing.....yet you recognize whats relatively relatively relatively relatively relatively strange? is that the universe is so ******* super, and increasing at such an surprising fee.... that like. each thing is taking place at this very 2d. no longer something must be taking place. yet each thing is taking place. like, opportunities are high there's a precise duplicate of the earth someplace in the universe, and probable a zillion different ones basically due the the super length of the universe. and with the help of tiny transformations each danger of each concern is taking place precise now. you're being born precise now, you're dying precise now. i'm ******* scared guy

Answer 7

if you're so keen to have him back, keep telling him how much you care and how much you wish you could change what happened, etc

BUT in the end you can't do anything other than give him time. if he manages to get over what happened, then great. if not... well then you won't have any other choice but to move on.

Answer 8

You are so selfish. Let him go and find someone whom will be good for him. Get over yourself

Answer 9

ask a doctor

Answer 10

do you really want it back?.....hows the stress since you split?