wat r some good quotes?

Answer 1

If there were no God, there would be no Atheists.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.

Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.

Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Answer 2

Work like you don't need the money; Dance like nobody's watching; Love like you've never been hurt

Answer 3

Say this to a biker in a bar for a good laugh: " I cant quit you"

Answer 4

"Change is never constant"
"This is slowly souring my attitude"
The second one I had turned into a bumper sticker and a tattoo.

Answer 5

OOOOh!!! vote 4 pedro!

Answer 6

Drive it like you stole it!