Did my dad disrespected me big time?

Question

A few days ago I was over his house and he started going on about me being not too tidy. This annoyed me a bit butI kept quiet. He then wated me to take his trash out so I did but took a 5 min walk around the block to prepare for another lecture. When I got back I assume he was in the room with his girl friend and I went into the kitchen to see If I could fix the towl rack he was trying to put up a few mins later he comes in but i was focusing on fixing the rack and didnt say anything He starts fuming in the living room to his girl friend about me running off because I was angry at him.hes fed up with my #$%! and If I do it again the hell with me not knowing I was in the kitchen the whole time he was bad mouthing me. I popped out and said It's like that dad and said I going to leave and he telling me to stay I grab my bag and headed out the door telling me If I go not to come back and then teld me to give back his CC I did with the money he given me. He told me %%%% me I left.

What should I do? This arguement was built on other things he does to me. I feels like he treats me like a child. He feel the need to tell when i should eat,When i should come and go from my college out of state,had issues with my first job because he didnt like it,threats of hitting me,and more but for him to curse me really hurt me badly. I want to cut ties from him he wants to go in business together but I wary of this kowing this interaction would be a disservice to everyone involved. Any advice?

I'm 22,in college,my parents are divorced,I live with my mother,nither of us were drunk
and his GF was sleeping up the the point he told my to take out his trash and she left a voicemail trying to patched things up while hes in the background saying "the hell with me"

My mother told me he was showing off and got embarrassed when he knew he was wrong about me running away. Since he must always be in control.

Thanks for the advice everybody I'll keep my distance and get a new job and when class start in the fall contact him for a sit down - this time he'll have to to tell me sorry and established new boundaries.

Answer 1

Ok, first how old are you, no disrespect. If your over 18 try and work it out. I had the same sort of relationship with my father. But after i became a Marine he wouldn't hit me anymore. It takes time, i know it sounds pansy *** but you both need to work on your communication skills.
If your under 18 and still living at home, well then suck it up, keep working on the communication.

But there are more deep rooted problems,... where is your mother, you said his GF. was it a bad break up? Do you or your dad drink? if however you just want to sever all ties with your father then you started it already, give back all money,cc's, items that he has given you and tell him your done.

It took my father and I about 13 years to get to where we are now. Its not perfect but we dont yell more then once a month. Of course I'm married and have my own family to tend to. He did disrespect you, but try and look at from his point of view.Tell him that if he is going to say crap like that about you, at least be man enough to say it to your face. That one pissed off my father but he respected me for it. Like my grandfather used to say, "if you cant say it to a mans face, dont say it at all."


EDIT: DO NOT go into business with family. General rule but especially in this case.

Answer 2

Sounds like there are some issues lingering in the background. He certainly was not in a good mood that nite. Could he have been mad at something else but took it out on you?
I would cool my jets for the time being and give him some space.
You might want to call his house in a couple of weeks when you know he is not there, and leave a message saying you were just thinking about him and wanted to say hi. That way, he knows you care, and doesnt have the chance to blow up at you. Eventually you two will talk. Don't worry too much about it, bottom line, he is your dad and he loves you.

Answer 3

There's more to it than that.
It is very difficult to restructure your life after a divorce or separation.
The whole family needs time to heal.
But first you need to lay down some ground rules.
Such as:
Visit only when you can spend quality time together.
Don't talk about your mom to your dad and your dad to your mom.
Or to your parents new "friends."
Children, remember to continue to love both parents without judging them.
Parents, these are your offspring and they need your love, time and attention even more.
To all: QT without pumping the other for information.
Quit talking about what caused the break up or the problems involved because of it.
Facts are facts: It is the parents responsibly to make the family work.
For your own self respect: Do no blame the children for the break up.
They had nothing to do with your inability to respect each other and to uphold the marriage vow.
Why make an uncomfortable situation worse when the children need their mom and dad even though the parents can not work it out
It is the responsibility of everyone in the family to make this adjustment easier on everyone involved.
.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to say but your Dad has an emotional problem. It's hard but don't take it personally. When such a person is in a bad mood, they will get angry for any random reason. Assuming you can go back to your Mom's house any time (or your old enough to live on your own, I can't tell) you were right to leave when you did. Try to be forgiving and spend time with your dad when he's not being a jerk, if that's possible. He is after all still your father.

Answer 5

Oh man, that really sucks. I know he hurt your feelings. Sorry
this happened and hope you find a way to make things better
because it's really bothering you. Give it time to cool down and
go talk to him about what's really bothering him...these little things
don't seem like the real reasons he got upset. Dig deeper.
Good Luck

Answer 6

convinced... he's out of line ... you keep in mind that, yet so are you to imagine that you're divorcing your dad. purely his spouse can divorce him. A divorce is between a husband and spouse not between the youngsters...inspite of if the youngsters experience strongly one way or the different. expertise that he's abusive...it will be needed that you get faraway from him till eventually he receives help, and that ought to favor to by no skill be minimized, yet it really is your mom and father' divorce, not yours. with slightly of success, you and your mom can discover help too. After handling some abusive relationships in my own life... I discovered the abusers actually have subject matters. they don't recognize a thanks to precise themselves or administration their anger. yet... it remains very plausible he loves you lower than all that... don't recognize your concern, yet specialist help is mostly a sturdy theory for all and distinctive after dealing with abusive circumstances. sturdy success!

Answer 7

Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you need to have a heart to heart alone, one on one and set him straight. Remind him you love him and you do what you do for him because of that love. You want to be treated with respect. Most likely he already knows this but is in denial that you have grown up. Salvage your relationship with him by having the talk.

Answer 8

Obviously it is has difficult to be a good dad or a good soon.do we learn in school how to be a father or a soon ?... We can only Judge a dad when we are one, in similar circumstances...

Regarding your question: if you are not living with him, return in a few days like nothing happen before.

Answer 9

Yeah, obviously he's the one that needs the help. If that was my dad he wouldn't be talking to me that way. I'd take out the trash, but that's a chore I always do, but you dad shouldn't be complaining to his girlfriend about you. As an afterthought, maybe it's not you or your dad....it's the girlfriend.

Answer 10

Sounds bad , was he drinking? Probally was or something else. Further may have been trying to impress his GF but what a crappy way to do it. that sucks man, I feel for ya.
Im a dad and would never do that.