ok im going out with this black guy and my family is kind of racist but i really love him and im so confused what should i do??? and what if in the future i end up marrying a black guy?
2006-07-15 06:35:49 · 32 answers · asked by *MiSz LoRi BaBy* 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Love doesn't know colors, girl! Your parents will have to accept or be tolerable...life is too short to be worrying about what others think. ONLY you know whats best for you! So be him black, white, or a guy with no legs...Love comes.
2006-07-15 06:42:05 · answer #1 · answered by truthbetold 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dear maam,
quite frankly it doesnt matter whether the guy is black or white or asian or whatever .... bcos at the end of the day, the most important thing is dat d guy should be your Mr. Right ... i.e. he should become a loving and caring and a honest husband ... and a great father when the time comes. At first, you might face a few problems from ur parents' side but when they realise how good your to be hubby is .... they will surely accept him and they will definitely appreciate the fact that their daughter has found a loving husband. As far as the society is concerned, no one seems to have any time for what sum1 else is doing ... so dont worry abt the society. would like to wish you all the best for your future .... and yes if this guy earns and earns a good amount of money, i am sure it would ease the problems even more. ALL THE BEST
2006-07-15 06:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by thegame 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's no such thing as kind of racist. either you are racist or you're not. it's good that your family opinion matters, however at times we have make our own choices, wether family agrees or not. the color of his skin should not be the issue if you're o.k. with it. what you should ask yourself is, if he's the one for you. no matter what his skin color is, it has nothing to do with behavior or love. is he going to treat you how you WANT to be treated. now, all seems peachy, but the now will be over quickly. observe his behavior and how he conducts with others. see the difference when he is with friends, family or among strangers. you should pick up on a few things. in you question, you say the words "black guy" twice. perhaps your family is not the only that's prejudice.
2006-07-15 07:15:38 · answer #3 · answered by sassy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to stop being in love with him because of your family? Your with him, not your family. Your family doesn't want to marry him, you do. It's OK to love your family and understand your family. But your not racist are you? Don't be confused, if you don't have to be confused. Do you really love him and dose it have to do with his race? Think about why you love him and would want to marry him. And no im not saying this because im black or not racist. I'm saying this because you shouldn't have to choose, especially if you love your family and this guy that your dating.
2006-07-15 06:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by delawaregirl83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. Many people are afraid of others that are different. Maybe the way to go about it is to not date him as boyfriend and girlfriend but have him around your family as a friend, with and without other friends. Have your family get to know him and they may realize that the color of his skin is the only difference. Simply diving in and dating him may put your family over the top and hinder this and future relationships. It doesn't sound like your family is truely racist as much as afraid of something different. Walk them into it slowly and make them more comfortable.
2006-07-15 06:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by Rick D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore your family and do what your heart says is right. Also try reading Toxic Parents by Dr. Susan D. Forward. It has a quiz in the front to see if your family is too controling that may make things a little clearer. Most of us have few ways of seeing how our family is different than the norm.
2006-07-15 06:42:18 · answer #6 · answered by crow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you love this guy but i dont understand then why you ask what if you marry him!!!!! Ask yourself if you really love him.. If this can go till marriage.. If you feel the other way round then probably be friends and your parents will accept him as a friend.. If you really love him then you can conveince your parents and marry him.. What if he is Black or White.. I think that you only like him a lot and dont love him.. Think about it!!!
2006-07-15 06:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know your family is wrong, but on the other hand if you go all the way with this guy family really matters. At least it has for me (although race isn't the issue.) I suggest taking it a day at a time, don't rush into anything, don't be pressured either way, by either side. Do what's best for you.
Take care.
2006-07-15 06:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by Tall Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in ur shoes my now husband is arabic, and pretty dark..my family is really racist ..they make comments if they see mixed couples out together..they still cant really accept him..u just have to do what makes u happy if u guys are happy then thats whats important they shud learn that u have to be happy for ur whole life....if i wud have listened to my family i wudnt be married right now and that has been the happiest thing in my life. u can marry him no problems, they will have to accept it if they want u to be on good terms with them. do whats best for u! good luck
2006-07-15 06:40:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with him.
It's YOUR life and YOUR happiness and YOUR decision.
They'll have to just get used to it.
Let your family know how fantastic he is, his manners, about his family. Focus on things that aren't based on skin color.
If you don't mention he's black, then people will theink he just sounds like the perfect guy for you... and then they'll see that he is, he just isn't what they expected him to look like.
IGNORE people who are close-minded on this subject. It's personality that makes people attracted and in love.. it's not all about impressions and the physical.
2006-07-15 06:39:47 · answer #10 · answered by Meghan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋