.... without being too rude...
2006-07-15 06:18:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
So you're one of those people . . . me, too . . . a complete psycho magnet. Pick your psychos wisely . . . those whom you love or emotionally invested in are those you spend time with, but the others . . . you need to not make yourself so available to them. And, being honest and direct, in a kind way, that you cannot help them, is not only fair to them, but to you. Having emotional leeches hanging on you drains your spirit and energy. Beware, there is always a tenacious one in the bunch and you may have to tell them you will not help them. Hopefully, it won't come to that, cuz you sound like a very sensitive person and it's hard not to be a doormat, once you've established yourself. Depending on your own personality, either start pulling away from these folks in stages or do the band-aid approach . . . rip it of, take the pain and move on. Good luck, but I know you can do it!
2006-07-15 06:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by trb1967 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I try to change the subject abruptly (ask something about where the bought their nice shoes or how was work today?) It works usually.
If they are more persistent, you can always use tact and say "I really don't like discussing these issues and am not comfortable directing these issues because I am not a professional therapist but I think a good therapist could address this with you and get you directed in the right path." You might want to have a few phone numbers for local therapists that address the specific issues they are "dumping". That shows concern, care and direction from you.
Wishing you success on this!
2006-07-15 13:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Carla S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop standing or sitting in one place long enough for them to dump their emotional problems on you for advice! Usually relationships like this are give and take! They need someone to dump on and sadly for you (you have the kind of personality that gives them permission to do this), and I bet this script keeps replaying itself over and over again. You're getting something out of it or you wouldn't allow it.
When the exchange is over - all you've done is waste a lot of time and they go off and do exactly like the said there were in the first few words of your conversation!
It's your life my friend - your relationship - the people you choose to be around.
Here's a suggestion - when they come up to you talking about the next dysfunctional emotional situation they have - you don't respond - you don't engage in conversation no matter what they say! You're probably pretty peaceful and occupied until they come along with their garbage - then you get all caught up in it for no reason - because they just want to waste your time to dump - you end up feeling pretty used up and wasted because the exchange has been of no use to you! Flip the script and refuse from now on - have something better to do and do it! Even if it's just to go somewhere and sit down - away from them! People treat you exactly how you allow them to - it's really not their fault - it's yours! Flip the Script!
2006-07-15 13:43:48 · answer #3 · answered by twinklecomfort 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people constantly complain about their problems they are unconsciously draining your energy and they feel better you feel worse. Sometimes you need to politely make them aware of their negativity by saying to them a general affirmation that works in all cases. Make sure to tell them often. Whenever they talk about their problems reminding them of the positive affirmation will calm both of you. Don't always try to offer a solution just offer something positive to think about (the affirmation, the same one each time). At first their mind will most likely reject it but continue and the negativity should pass. You can also remind them that many problems we stress over today are distant memories tomorrow.These mishaps in our lives never last. Prove this by helping them remember several problems in the past they stressed over but were fine in the end. This sometimes jolts people out of the "its the end of the world" idea for every problem. You will unknowingly become a subliminal message.
2006-07-15 14:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by Black Barbie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing these "people" are female.
They aren't looking for advice.
If you give advice they won't follow it.
They just want to share their emotions with you.
Don't you know nuthin about women?
If it's a guy tell him he's acting like a wuss.
2006-07-15 13:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try to make them understand that they should solve their own problems. If your advice backfires he will blame you for the problem. so its best every person should do what they think best for themselves. we dont know whats best for them. in emotional matters 'what is sauce for the goose is not a sauce for the gander'. follow your own heart and mind
2006-07-15 13:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cross my eyes, sigh heavily, look at passersby shoes...until they say, 'do you need to be somewhere', or 'I know this is boring you..' then I say, 'uh, yeah, I needed to be somewhere like, 20 minutes ago' meaning, it's beer-30 and your bored with their trite, pedantic B.S.
The eye crossing is especially effective if you puff out your cheeks before the sigh.
2006-07-16 17:58:45 · answer #7 · answered by Hippie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say " Hey not to be rude, but I'm trying to deal with my own problems right now. I can't handle yours on top of my own at present time. Sorry I'd like to help, but............."
2006-07-15 13:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by lizzardkingone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give them really bad advice next time lol
2006-07-15 13:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by miss_gem_01 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give them REALLY BAD advice. Eventually it'll get around that nobody should go to you for advice.
2006-07-17 10:32:01 · answer #10 · answered by RuneWitchSakura1988 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋